You must look at this, it's real good but the site is a bit slow
http://www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com/
http://www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com/
Iraqi Minister of Information
- Thread starter Sandan
- Start date
TXCardinalsFan
Feeling no pain
That guy is a jackass and needs to get popped right in the forehead!
If your an Iraqi relying on him for info you're correct.
But from a comedy standpoint that is one hellufunny sombitch!! I miss him already. Hopefully he will be touring soon with a comedy troupe here. I'd pay two camel rectums and a small pile of toe nail clippings to watch this baffoon anytime! Maybe he can team up with Jeanine Garafolo and they can both extend their ruined carreers for a few more weeks.
Re: Re: Iraqi Minister of Information
You now owe me three napkins used to clean the beer out of my nose!
You are obviously one of the ring leaders of an international gang of bastards! Trying to confuse the truth. I will take you there and show you on MMffNNff promptly at MMffNNff! Be there or miss the truth! Allah willing we will both arrive at the same time and place and the truth will be revealed. Allah willing. If not then we may try again later.
You now owe me three napkins used to clean the beer out of my nose!
You are obviously one of the ring leaders of an international gang of bastards! Trying to confuse the truth. I will take you there and show you on MMffNNff promptly at MMffNNff! Be there or miss the truth! Allah willing we will both arrive at the same time and place and the truth will be revealed. Allah willing. If not then we may try again later.
TXCardinalsFan
Feeling no pain
I think the only prayers now that that shmuck is making is that we don't find out the numbers to his Swiss bank account.
Still would have loved to have seen a Marine butt stroke him while he was telling the Arab nation than the coalition forces were not in Bagdad.
I am a Desert Storm vet and am proud of the way our boys did their job. A lot of nay-sayers will be disappearing soon. We should make sure that our troops (especially Pat Tillman) know that we support them 100%!
Have a great day.
Still would have loved to have seen a Marine butt stroke him while he was telling the Arab nation than the coalition forces were not in Bagdad.
I am a Desert Storm vet and am proud of the way our boys did their job. A lot of nay-sayers will be disappearing soon. We should make sure that our troops (especially Pat Tillman) know that we support them 100%!
Have a great day.
Bobcat
Registered User
Minister Article
WHY WE LOVE M.S.S.
This site is a coalition effort of bloodthirsty hawks and ineffectual doves united in admiration for Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, Iraqi Minister of Information (currently on administrative leave).
"In an age of spin, al-Sahaf offers feeling and authenticity. His message is consistent -- unshakeable, in fact, no matter the evidence -- but he commands daily attention by his on-the-spot, invective-rich variations on the theme. His lunatic counterfactual art is more appealing than the banal awfulness of the Reliable Sources. He is a Method actor in a production that will close in a couple of days. He stands superior to truth."
-- Jean-Pierre McGarrigle
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
M.S.S Throughout History
Ever wonder what MSS would have said during some of history's greatest battles? Of course you did.
M.S.S. in Hollywood
Who will play MSS in the soon to be made feature film/miniseries "The Minister"? Here's our suggestion.
M.S.S. - Our Readers Show Love
Obviously we aren't the only ones who think this guy is a true hero. Here we present some of our favorite reader contributions.
Do you have a favorite Sahaf quote that we've missed? Send it to our crack editorial staff
Want to show your love for MSS? Why not proudly wear our snazzy t-shirt!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sponsored by High Frontier Productions, Peak Creative Media, Jimmythe CeltWorld Enterprises and The Blimey Limey.
-- Current Quote of the Day, 4/10 --
NO! M.S.S did not show up for work. However, our intrepid editors have been able to find his actual, final quote from Tuesday. As usual, we are not making this up:
"I NOW INFORM YOU THAT YOU ARE TOO FAR FROM REALITY."
Also, by popular request we now proudly present the "pencil quote":
"The authority of the civil defense ... issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps," he said, adding that the British and American forces were "immoral mercenaries" and "war criminals" for such behavior.
"I am not talking about the American people and the British people," he said. "I am talking about those mercenaries. ... They have started throwing those pencils, but they are not pencils, they are booby traps to kill the children."
Honorable mention in the "I wish I was M.S.S." category goes to Mohsen Khalil, Iraq's Ambassador to the Arab League for this beauty:
"Iraq will not be defeated. Iraq has now already achieved victory - apart from some technicalities."
-- The All Time Greats --
"There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!"
"My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all"
"Our initial assessment is that they will all die"
"I blame Al-Jazeera - they are marketing for the Americans!"
"God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis."
"surrender or be burned in their tanks."
"No I am not scared and neither should you be!"
"They're not even [within] 100 miles [of Baghdad]. They are not in any
place. They hold no place in Iraq. This is an illusion ... they are
trying to sell to the others an illusion."
"Faltering forces of infidels cannot just enter a country of 26 million people and lay besiege to them! They are the ones who will find themselves under siege. Therefore, in reality whatever this miserable Rumsfeld has been saying, he was talking about his own forces. Now even the American command is under siege."
"They tried to bring a small number of tanks and personnel carriers in through al-Durah but they were surrounded and most of their infidels had their throats cut."
"We made them drink poison last night and Saddam Hussein's soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly."
"On this occasion, I am not going to mention the number of the infidels who were killed and the number of destroyed vehicles. The operation continues"
"I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that they have
started to commit suicide under the walls of Baghdad. We
will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly."
"Their infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad. Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected."
"We defeated them yesterday. God willing, I will provide you
with more information. I swear by God, I swear by God, those
who are staying in Washington and London have thrown these
mercenaries in a crematorium."
"Please, please! The Americans are relying on what I called yesterday a desperate and stupid method."
"We blocked them inside the city. Their rear is blocked"
"Desperate Americans"
"Today we slaughtered them in the airport. They are out of Saddam International Airport. The force that was in the airport, this force was destroyed."
"Their casualties and bodies are many."
"Just look carefully, I only want you to look carefully. Do not repeat the lies of liars. Do not become like them. Once again, I blame al-Jazeera before it ascertains what takes place. Please, make sure of what you say and do not play such a role."
"Search for the truth. I tell you things and I always ask you to verify what I say. I told you yesterday that there was an attack and a retreat at Saddam's airport."
"You can go and visit those places. Nothing there, nothing at all. There are Iraqi checkpoints. Evrything is okay."
"This boa, the American columns, are being besieged between Basra and other towns north, west, south and west of Basra....Now even the American command is under siege. We are hitting it from the north, east, south and west. We chase them here and they chase us there."
"By God, I think this is rather very unlikely. This is merely a prattle. The fact is that as soon as they reach baghdad gates, we will besiege them and slaughter them....Wherever they go they will find themselves encircled."
"Listen, this explosion does not frighten us any langer. The cruise missiles do not frighten anyone. We are catchign them like fish in a river. I mean here that over the past two days we managed to shoot down 196 missiles before they hit their target."
"Blair...is accusing us of executing British soldiers. We want to tell him that we have not executed anybody. They are either killed in battle, most of them get killed because they are cowards anyway, the rest they just get captured."
"They fled. The American louts fled. Indeed, concerning the fighting waged by the heroes of the Arab Socialist Baath Party yesterday, one amazing thing really is the cowardice of the American soldiers. we had not anticipated this."
"the louts of colonialism."
"The forces of American colonialism began to drop containers that produce a sound explosion, a very huge sound. I remind you that they said that their strategy is based on shock and awe. Those failed ones manufactured a type of container that has an explosive substance, which they drop. They cause a very huge explosion in terms of sound, as if the universe was shaken. After a while, you go out and you don't find anything. You find some nails, screws, pieces of metal, but the important thing here is the sound. Those failed ones think that through the huge sound explosion, people would be shocked and consequently would collapse and be defeated. What happened? The contrary. The fighters..., the masses..., and the heroic sons of the Iraqi tribes discovered this game. They will turn it against the American louts so as to shock them. Wait for surprises, God willing, to see how the US game will fail."
"The shock has backfired on them. They are shocked because of what they have seen. No one received them with roses. They were received with bombs, shoes and bullets. Now, the game has been exposed. Awe will backfire on them. This is the boa snake. We will extend it further and cut it the appropriate way."
"It has been rumored that we have fired scud missiles into Kuwait. I am here now to tell you, we do not have any scud missiles and I don't know why they were fired into Kuwait."
"As for the mercenaries who advanced to the perimeters of Saddam International Airport, I would like to remind you of something. I will mention something that will make the picture clear for you and help you to understand what took place at Saddam International Airport. Most of you probably saw the American movie "Wag the Dog". I hope you remember it. Some of their acts that took place at dawn yesterday and today are similar to what happened in "Wag the Dog". If we succeed in keeping them isolated on that island, and we are determined to do so, we might let them taste a second mini Dien Bien Phu tonight. The European journalists remember it well. Our estimates are that none of them will come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly. They are completely surrounded now. This morning, the number of armoured personnel carriers that were destroyed, along with their occupants, is eight. The number of the tanks destroyed is 11."
"Tonight, we will do something unconventional against them. This means: not by the military. We will do something that I believe will become a pretty example for those mercenaries. I would not be giving out a secret when I say that action in the dark against such mercenaries is effective, not through the action of armies. I say that dropping down those mercenaries in a surprise fashion at Saddam Airport without accurate calculations is largely meant for showing things. It's a showy operation. It is a kind of surprise muscle flexing to the world to show it that the shock and awe operation is indeed successful. May they be accursed. Through this operation [shock and awe], they sent a number of their villains and mercenaries to be butchered. Again, and according to my early estimates, unless the remaining part of their soldiers surrender, the chance for their survival is very slim. The surprising thing is that after they threw their soldiers into a place where they are not aware of the real results, the villainous Americans, like Powell and the others, sat in Europe to discuss how to divide Iraq as spoils after the war [laughing]. This means what's post-war. The post-war [Iraq] will be the same current Iraq under the leadership of President Saddam Husayn."
"We will pursue them as war criminals. We will work with all the free people in the world, and they are many, who want someone to bell the cat [i.e.; to do a daring deed], and now we are belling the cat, according to the famous [Arabic] saying so as to rid the UN of those villains. After Iraq aborts the invasion that is being carried out by the American and British villains, the USA will no longer be a superpower. Its deterioration will be rapid. I say to those villains who are meeting in Europe, thinking of launching psychological war and brainwashing: wait. Do not be hasty because your disappointment will be huge. You will reap nothing from this aggressive war, which you launched on Iraq, except for disgrace and defeat. Iraq will continue to exist. Its civilization is 10,000 years old. It will not be changed by villains like the US and British villains."
"W. Bush, this man is a war criminal, and we will see
that he is brought to trial"
"I think the British nation has never been faced with a tragedy like this fellow [Blair]."
"The United Nations....[is] a place for prostitution under the feet of
Americans."
"They are sick in their minds. They say they brought 65 tanks into center
of city. I say to you this talk is not true. This is part of their sick mind."
"They are superpower of villains. They are superpower of Al Capone."
"Iraqi fighters in Umm Qasr are giving the hordes of American and Brtish
mercenaries the taste of definite death. We have drawn them into a
quagmire and they will never get out of it."
"What they say about a breakthrough [in Najaf] is completely an illusion. They are sending their warplanes to fly very low in order to have vibrations on these sacred places . . . they are trying to crack the buildings by flying low over them."
"We will push those crooks, those mercenaries back into the swamp"
About Bush and Rumsfeld: "Those only deserve to be hit with shoes."
WHY WE LOVE M.S.S.
This site is a coalition effort of bloodthirsty hawks and ineffectual doves united in admiration for Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, Iraqi Minister of Information (currently on administrative leave).
"In an age of spin, al-Sahaf offers feeling and authenticity. His message is consistent -- unshakeable, in fact, no matter the evidence -- but he commands daily attention by his on-the-spot, invective-rich variations on the theme. His lunatic counterfactual art is more appealing than the banal awfulness of the Reliable Sources. He is a Method actor in a production that will close in a couple of days. He stands superior to truth."
-- Jean-Pierre McGarrigle
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
M.S.S Throughout History
Ever wonder what MSS would have said during some of history's greatest battles? Of course you did.
M.S.S. in Hollywood
Who will play MSS in the soon to be made feature film/miniseries "The Minister"? Here's our suggestion.
M.S.S. - Our Readers Show Love
Obviously we aren't the only ones who think this guy is a true hero. Here we present some of our favorite reader contributions.
Do you have a favorite Sahaf quote that we've missed? Send it to our crack editorial staff
Want to show your love for MSS? Why not proudly wear our snazzy t-shirt!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sponsored by High Frontier Productions, Peak Creative Media, Jimmythe CeltWorld Enterprises and The Blimey Limey.
-- Current Quote of the Day, 4/10 --
NO! M.S.S did not show up for work. However, our intrepid editors have been able to find his actual, final quote from Tuesday. As usual, we are not making this up:
"I NOW INFORM YOU THAT YOU ARE TOO FAR FROM REALITY."
Also, by popular request we now proudly present the "pencil quote":
"The authority of the civil defense ... issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps," he said, adding that the British and American forces were "immoral mercenaries" and "war criminals" for such behavior.
"I am not talking about the American people and the British people," he said. "I am talking about those mercenaries. ... They have started throwing those pencils, but they are not pencils, they are booby traps to kill the children."
Honorable mention in the "I wish I was M.S.S." category goes to Mohsen Khalil, Iraq's Ambassador to the Arab League for this beauty:
"Iraq will not be defeated. Iraq has now already achieved victory - apart from some technicalities."
-- The All Time Greats --
"There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!"
"My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all"
"Our initial assessment is that they will all die"
"I blame Al-Jazeera - they are marketing for the Americans!"
"God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis."
"surrender or be burned in their tanks."
"No I am not scared and neither should you be!"
"They're not even [within] 100 miles [of Baghdad]. They are not in any
place. They hold no place in Iraq. This is an illusion ... they are
trying to sell to the others an illusion."
"Faltering forces of infidels cannot just enter a country of 26 million people and lay besiege to them! They are the ones who will find themselves under siege. Therefore, in reality whatever this miserable Rumsfeld has been saying, he was talking about his own forces. Now even the American command is under siege."
"They tried to bring a small number of tanks and personnel carriers in through al-Durah but they were surrounded and most of their infidels had their throats cut."
"We made them drink poison last night and Saddam Hussein's soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly."
"On this occasion, I am not going to mention the number of the infidels who were killed and the number of destroyed vehicles. The operation continues"
"I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that they have
started to commit suicide under the walls of Baghdad. We
will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly."
"Their infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad. Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected."
"We defeated them yesterday. God willing, I will provide you
with more information. I swear by God, I swear by God, those
who are staying in Washington and London have thrown these
mercenaries in a crematorium."
"Please, please! The Americans are relying on what I called yesterday a desperate and stupid method."
"We blocked them inside the city. Their rear is blocked"
"Desperate Americans"
"Today we slaughtered them in the airport. They are out of Saddam International Airport. The force that was in the airport, this force was destroyed."
"Their casualties and bodies are many."
"Just look carefully, I only want you to look carefully. Do not repeat the lies of liars. Do not become like them. Once again, I blame al-Jazeera before it ascertains what takes place. Please, make sure of what you say and do not play such a role."
"Search for the truth. I tell you things and I always ask you to verify what I say. I told you yesterday that there was an attack and a retreat at Saddam's airport."
"You can go and visit those places. Nothing there, nothing at all. There are Iraqi checkpoints. Evrything is okay."
"This boa, the American columns, are being besieged between Basra and other towns north, west, south and west of Basra....Now even the American command is under siege. We are hitting it from the north, east, south and west. We chase them here and they chase us there."
"By God, I think this is rather very unlikely. This is merely a prattle. The fact is that as soon as they reach baghdad gates, we will besiege them and slaughter them....Wherever they go they will find themselves encircled."
"Listen, this explosion does not frighten us any langer. The cruise missiles do not frighten anyone. We are catchign them like fish in a river. I mean here that over the past two days we managed to shoot down 196 missiles before they hit their target."
"Blair...is accusing us of executing British soldiers. We want to tell him that we have not executed anybody. They are either killed in battle, most of them get killed because they are cowards anyway, the rest they just get captured."
"They fled. The American louts fled. Indeed, concerning the fighting waged by the heroes of the Arab Socialist Baath Party yesterday, one amazing thing really is the cowardice of the American soldiers. we had not anticipated this."
"the louts of colonialism."
"The forces of American colonialism began to drop containers that produce a sound explosion, a very huge sound. I remind you that they said that their strategy is based on shock and awe. Those failed ones manufactured a type of container that has an explosive substance, which they drop. They cause a very huge explosion in terms of sound, as if the universe was shaken. After a while, you go out and you don't find anything. You find some nails, screws, pieces of metal, but the important thing here is the sound. Those failed ones think that through the huge sound explosion, people would be shocked and consequently would collapse and be defeated. What happened? The contrary. The fighters..., the masses..., and the heroic sons of the Iraqi tribes discovered this game. They will turn it against the American louts so as to shock them. Wait for surprises, God willing, to see how the US game will fail."
"The shock has backfired on them. They are shocked because of what they have seen. No one received them with roses. They were received with bombs, shoes and bullets. Now, the game has been exposed. Awe will backfire on them. This is the boa snake. We will extend it further and cut it the appropriate way."
"It has been rumored that we have fired scud missiles into Kuwait. I am here now to tell you, we do not have any scud missiles and I don't know why they were fired into Kuwait."
"As for the mercenaries who advanced to the perimeters of Saddam International Airport, I would like to remind you of something. I will mention something that will make the picture clear for you and help you to understand what took place at Saddam International Airport. Most of you probably saw the American movie "Wag the Dog". I hope you remember it. Some of their acts that took place at dawn yesterday and today are similar to what happened in "Wag the Dog". If we succeed in keeping them isolated on that island, and we are determined to do so, we might let them taste a second mini Dien Bien Phu tonight. The European journalists remember it well. Our estimates are that none of them will come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly. They are completely surrounded now. This morning, the number of armoured personnel carriers that were destroyed, along with their occupants, is eight. The number of the tanks destroyed is 11."
"Tonight, we will do something unconventional against them. This means: not by the military. We will do something that I believe will become a pretty example for those mercenaries. I would not be giving out a secret when I say that action in the dark against such mercenaries is effective, not through the action of armies. I say that dropping down those mercenaries in a surprise fashion at Saddam Airport without accurate calculations is largely meant for showing things. It's a showy operation. It is a kind of surprise muscle flexing to the world to show it that the shock and awe operation is indeed successful. May they be accursed. Through this operation [shock and awe], they sent a number of their villains and mercenaries to be butchered. Again, and according to my early estimates, unless the remaining part of their soldiers surrender, the chance for their survival is very slim. The surprising thing is that after they threw their soldiers into a place where they are not aware of the real results, the villainous Americans, like Powell and the others, sat in Europe to discuss how to divide Iraq as spoils after the war [laughing]. This means what's post-war. The post-war [Iraq] will be the same current Iraq under the leadership of President Saddam Husayn."
"We will pursue them as war criminals. We will work with all the free people in the world, and they are many, who want someone to bell the cat [i.e.; to do a daring deed], and now we are belling the cat, according to the famous [Arabic] saying so as to rid the UN of those villains. After Iraq aborts the invasion that is being carried out by the American and British villains, the USA will no longer be a superpower. Its deterioration will be rapid. I say to those villains who are meeting in Europe, thinking of launching psychological war and brainwashing: wait. Do not be hasty because your disappointment will be huge. You will reap nothing from this aggressive war, which you launched on Iraq, except for disgrace and defeat. Iraq will continue to exist. Its civilization is 10,000 years old. It will not be changed by villains like the US and British villains."
"W. Bush, this man is a war criminal, and we will see
that he is brought to trial"
"I think the British nation has never been faced with a tragedy like this fellow [Blair]."
"The United Nations....[is] a place for prostitution under the feet of
Americans."
"They are sick in their minds. They say they brought 65 tanks into center
of city. I say to you this talk is not true. This is part of their sick mind."
"They are superpower of villains. They are superpower of Al Capone."
"Iraqi fighters in Umm Qasr are giving the hordes of American and Brtish
mercenaries the taste of definite death. We have drawn them into a
quagmire and they will never get out of it."
"What they say about a breakthrough [in Najaf] is completely an illusion. They are sending their warplanes to fly very low in order to have vibrations on these sacred places . . . they are trying to crack the buildings by flying low over them."
"We will push those crooks, those mercenaries back into the swamp"
About Bush and Rumsfeld: "Those only deserve to be hit with shoes."
OP
OP
It's my small contribution to making it through the offseason.
Brighteyes found it but I thought we should share
Brighteyes found it but I thought we should share
BuckeyeCardinal
Cantankerous Curmudgeon
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2003
- Posts
- 2,252
- Reaction score
- 0
Tonto
Tonto is his speech writer.
Some of my favorite quotes and moments.
For quotes I liked these:
"We promise you definite death".
Uhhhhh....can I have indefinate....which I think means I'm still alive.
"We will cut your heads."
Fine.....as long as you don't cut our heads OFF."
For moments:
The Coalition had secured the airport but BB kept saying...."I will take you there....do want to go to the airport?".....imagine the camera panning the Arab journalists who answer that question with a plethora of shaking heads.
But here's the best......BB is live and saying that the Americans are NOT in Baghdad when when one of the journalists says..."Look....isn't that an American tank?".......BB whirls around and says....."Yes....and now we have them surrounded inside Baghdad."
Tonto is his speech writer.
Some of my favorite quotes and moments.
For quotes I liked these:
"We promise you definite death".
Uhhhhh....can I have indefinate....which I think means I'm still alive.
"We will cut your heads."
Fine.....as long as you don't cut our heads OFF."
For moments:
The Coalition had secured the airport but BB kept saying...."I will take you there....do want to go to the airport?".....imagine the camera panning the Arab journalists who answer that question with a plethora of shaking heads.
But here's the best......BB is live and saying that the Americans are NOT in Baghdad when when one of the journalists says..."Look....isn't that an American tank?".......BB whirls around and says....."Yes....and now we have them surrounded inside Baghdad."
Chaz
observationist
Re: Re: Iraqi Minister of Information
LOL
LOL
RonF
Per Ardua Ad Astra
Talk about denial, Baghdag Bob would make a great Card fan. Since he is out of a job maybe the Cards ought to hire him as their spokesperson. I can see it now, "No! No! They didn't shut us out, we were just resting our players for next week's bigger game." "Don't listen to their lies, we knew what we were doing when we let Boston walk."
