Machete

[Brian in Mesa]

Machete

Release Date: September 3, 2010
Studio: 20th Century Fox
Director: Robert Rodriguez, Ethan Maniquis
Screenwriter: Robert Rodriguez
Genre: Action
MPAA Rating: R (for strong bloody violence throughout, language, some sexual content and nudity)
Website: VivaMachete.com

Starring: Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, Jeff Fahey, Don Johnson, Steven Seagal

Plot Summary: "Machete" is based on the "fake" trailer in Robert Rodriguez's 2007 "Grindhouse," featuring Danny Trejo and Jeff Fahey reprising their original roles.

The feature version of the trailer finds Machete (Trejo) a renegade former Mexican Federale, roaming the streets of Texas after a shakedown from drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal). Reluctantly, Machete takes an offer from spin doctor Benz (Fahey) to assassinate McLaughlin (Robert De Niro) a corrupt Senator. Double crossed and on the run Machete braves the odds with the help of Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), a saucy taco slinger, Padre (Cheech Marin) his "holy" brother, and April (Lindsay Lohan) a socialite with a penchant for guns. All while being tracked by Sartana (Jessica Alba), a sexy ICE agent with a special interest in the blade slinger.

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[FArting]

Saw this yesterday action packed and good.

 

[Cheesebeef]

yeah, i thought this was pretty damn entertaining. Could have shaved 15-20 minutes out of it with it probably working best best as Planet Terror did in the full-length Grindhouse Double Feature.

Lohan was atrocious, Alba was smoking hot and everyone else was really solid in their roles, especially Seagal, who's last scene in the movie will go down in history as one of my favorite scenes of all time.

 

[Dr. Jones]

Screw that..... I want a nudity count......

 

[AzStevenCal]

Screw that..... I want a nudity count......

Yeah, we want to know. Did Danny Trejo, De Niro, Cheech and Seagal show some flesh?

 

[Dr. Jones]

Yeah, we want to know. Did Danny Trejo, De Niro, Cheech and Seagal show some flesh?

 

[Chaplin]

What a ride. Some good, some bad, but mostly pretty good.

The last thing Steven Seagal does was awesome and Jessica Alba's little speech to the migrant workers was atrocious.

 

[redheat]

I'm all for cult movies but this was such crap and not entertaining at all. For the first time in a movie theater I fell asleep.

And you guys gave me crap for hyping up MacGruber....anyone who says this movie is good should be banned.

 

[MadCardDisease]

About 1 minute into the movie I thought to myself, OMG this is going to suck! It's just going to be another lame blood fest of a movie. Then the fantastic T&A entered into the picture and I do mean FINE. That quickly got me refocused and back into the movie.

I must say this movie was great! It just kept growing on me. Top of the line T&A! Great action! To top it off it was funny as hell. It was the ultimate man movie.

Did I mention the gorgeous women in this movie!!! Jessica Alba is the love of my life. I don't care if her rally speech made you want to throw up. All I heard was Blah, Blah, Blah... Jessica is one of the "Finest" actresses of our time! And I must say that Michelle Rodriguez looked pretty damn hot as well.

For the most part the acting was fantastic. Hell even Steven Segal was good and I usually can't stand the guy. Although I still couldn't stand Lohan and felt she took away from the movie. Thats the only negative that I really have.

I loved all of the one liners and comedic parts. Senator John McLaughlin and his anti-Mexican crusade LOL. Cheech Marin was classic as always. Danny Trejo just nailed his parts.

What can I say... I really enjoyed this movie!

 

[Divide Et Impera]

Then the fantastic T&A entered into the picture and I do mean FINE. That quickly got me refocused and back into the movie.

I must say this movie was great! It just kept growing on me. Top of the line T&A!

Um, are you sure it was the "movie" that kept "growing" on you?

 

[desertdawg]

Gonna watch it right now.

 

[desertdawg]

Worst movie ever, I couldn't finish watching after the fake cops didn't check homie and he stabbed them with a "Machete"
Bad music, bad writing, bad every thing.
Worst movie I can remember seeing.
Puke on this film.

 

[Louis]

Bad music, bad writing, bad every thing.
.

Precisely why this movie was great, not mention the awesome TnA and bloody violence.

 

[NJCardFan]

I'm all for cult movies but this was such crap and not entertaining at all. For the first time in a movie theater I fell asleep.

And you guys gave me crap for hyping up MacGruber....anyone who says this movie is good should be banned.

You know, I might have been with you but you lost me at MacGruber.

 

[Divide Et Impera]

Just saw this today. Alba is beautiful. As mentioned prior, there's some decent T&A (Lohan) and Michelle Rodriguez has a stellar body. The over-the-top gore, blood and violence did what I thought it would - entertain. It was cheesy, campy, and underground looking, but it was a fun movie and it made me want to find my way into that hospital where ALL the nurses are hot, mini skirt-wearing girls....

 

[Renz]

I agree with redheat and desertdawg. I thought this movie sucked. Plot was meandering and the special effects were bad. Most of the blood was obvious CGI. Is that what grindhouse has come to?

Thought it was boring as well. Robert Rodriguez is so overrated. He should stick to doing Spy Kids movies.

 

[Cardinals.Ken]

Robert Rodriguez is so overrated. He should stick to doing Spy Kids movies.

You didn't like Planet Terror, or the El Mariachi series, or From Dusk Till Dawn?

 

[Renz]

You didn't like Planet Terror, or the El Mariachi series, or From Dusk Till Dawn?

I liked the original Mariachi. Planet Terror was okay. Never saw From Dusk Til Dawn.

I don't think Rodriguez is that great. JMO.

 

[Bada0Bing]

Precisely why this movie was great, not mention the awesome TnA and bloody violence.

I recently watched it. Awesomely bad movie! I came close to losing interest a few times but something ridiculous would happen to pull me back in.

"Machete dont text"...good stuff.

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