Ouchie-Z-Clown
I'm better than Mulli!
embarrassment. complete, total, no-doubt-about-it, embarrassing display of absentee testicle-ism. and it started from the first snap. i'm going to very methodically discuss the heartless, gutless, putridity of today.
coaches - the coaching staff gave up before the game even began. we have proved, time and time again that we cannot run the ball. we just can't. we don't have the manpower or scheme to be successful running the ball. what can we do? pass the ball (or at least we used to believe we could pass the ball). and what are the first 7 out of 8 plays called? run plays. we gameplan to our weakness. now i understand that the cliche is that you have to run in inclimate weather to win. but cassel looked damn good spraying the ball around, didn't he? and i also understand that kurt has a rep as not playing well in the snow - guess that rep was well earned b/c he couldn't get the ball to his receivers if those were mighty mite pop warner dbs across from him. but that said, the coaching staff sent up the white flag when they refused to use our weapons. they admitted complete impotence with the play calls. no balls.
whiz has officially lost me. i had high hopes for him, but he's lost his team, i haven't seen improvement in areas requiring improvement and the accountability doesn't exist unless you're a punter, and even then he has to be bludgeoned into making a change. consider me off whiz's bandwagon. he has to prove himself to me from this point on. he's resurrected the darkside.
kurt - the man just isn't "the man." not for this team. he'd be great on a team that has awesome talent and just needs a qb to put 'em over the top. but this team doesn't have that type of talent. it needs a transcendant qb and kurt is no longer that. his complete inability to play well in poor weather emasculates an already increasingly impotent offense.
o line - they've been my whipping boys for a long time now, and today they really showed their true colors all day. i lost count of how many free rushes to the qb they allowed. i was appalled at the amount of times i saw defenders in our qb's faces and olinemen dancing with no one to block (levi was the biggest offender here - he'd let someone race RIGHT PAST HIM and then try to double down on ghosts - i cannot emphasis enough how bad he is. mediocre? he'd have to improve by leaps and bounds to get to that level these days. enigma? only if you're wondering if he has to shower after games b/c he hasn't worked up a sweat. inconsistent? only if you're stupid.). and that's just the attempts at pass blocking (and i say "attempts" b/c to say otherwise would indicate that they actually blocked anyone at any time). runblocking? need we rehash that again? they should be made to practice in pink tutu's all week.
rest of the offense - hightower just isn't talented. we need to let go of the fruitless hope that he's a starting caliber nfl back. of course, our coaches calling the delayed draw doesn't help . . . dumbest offensive play in our playbook. and the rest of the bums? no effort. nice hands by EVERYONE. i realize the ball may be a bit slicker than normal, but again, the pats seem to be capable of catching the ball. and there was no separation for any of our wr's . . . and that's effort . . . or lack thereof. just a bunch of warm weather pansies.
special teams - just piss poor in all facets. get on the short bus. all of you.
defense - sigh. honestly, i don't even know where to begin. they are so bad in so many ways. the heartless effort by the d line, the complete inability to breakdown and contain. the gaping holes in the run game. the disappearance of our safeties. the continued poor tackling. it often looked like none of our team wanted to try b/c they might end up on the ground and it's cold there. oh wait, rolle ended up on the ground . . . every time he attempted to grab a foot (i refuse to call that tackling).
this team is worse than last year. i cannot remember a stretch like the one we're in to close the season at ANY time last year. not an embarrassment after embarrassment after embarrassment. as bad as we've ever been i cannot remember one prior cardinals team just refusing to play as this team did today. i simply cannot berate their effort enough. it was shameful. it was Madoff proportions. what we watched was football fraud. i think today you could walk up to these punks we call football players and openly question their integrity and they wouldn't respond b/c they were friggin' squirrels today. and that's doing a disservice to rodents. even if we finish 9-7 i think we are considerably worse than last year's 8-8 squad. we cannot nut up against the good teams and we routinely get rolled. i mean flat out undressed and embarrassed by good teams. i have been edging ever closer to the national pundits, but now i not only completely agree with them, but will champion their call-out of the cardinals as paper division champs. they would be sub .500 in any other division. they are not mediocre . . . they are a hair's width separated from the SF's of the league. not good.
i have so many other negative feelings and thoughts that i just cannot seem to verbalize at present. many of you know that i've been a longtime darksider, but how many of you have read a rant like this from me? usually i am content to make a point, maybe argue it a bit (okay, in the past it was a lot, but that's a few years ago already - i've mellowed considerably), and then let it go. so to make me step forward like this? well, it took a monumental effort on the part of the cards.
know where we are today? as i was watching the game it was third and 8, warner rolled out and threw a fluttering girl pass to someone (does it really matter?). the pass was about shin-high, the receiver didn't even make a stab at it. one very cute young lady to my right exclaimed to the another cuter younger lady to her right, "oh, that's embarrassing!" then she spotted me in my boldin jersey . . . and muttered, "oh, i'm sorry" dripping with pity. and there i sat, right back to that day in the bar with cheese as the winless raiders ripped us apart and people just patted us on the back and shook their heads or gave us backhanded props like, "hardcore man, hardcore." today, nay, in the last 5 games, we are as bad a cardinals team as we have ever been. and what do we have to look forward to? more embarrassment in the playoffs. great. can't wait.
coaches - the coaching staff gave up before the game even began. we have proved, time and time again that we cannot run the ball. we just can't. we don't have the manpower or scheme to be successful running the ball. what can we do? pass the ball (or at least we used to believe we could pass the ball). and what are the first 7 out of 8 plays called? run plays. we gameplan to our weakness. now i understand that the cliche is that you have to run in inclimate weather to win. but cassel looked damn good spraying the ball around, didn't he? and i also understand that kurt has a rep as not playing well in the snow - guess that rep was well earned b/c he couldn't get the ball to his receivers if those were mighty mite pop warner dbs across from him. but that said, the coaching staff sent up the white flag when they refused to use our weapons. they admitted complete impotence with the play calls. no balls.
whiz has officially lost me. i had high hopes for him, but he's lost his team, i haven't seen improvement in areas requiring improvement and the accountability doesn't exist unless you're a punter, and even then he has to be bludgeoned into making a change. consider me off whiz's bandwagon. he has to prove himself to me from this point on. he's resurrected the darkside.
kurt - the man just isn't "the man." not for this team. he'd be great on a team that has awesome talent and just needs a qb to put 'em over the top. but this team doesn't have that type of talent. it needs a transcendant qb and kurt is no longer that. his complete inability to play well in poor weather emasculates an already increasingly impotent offense.
o line - they've been my whipping boys for a long time now, and today they really showed their true colors all day. i lost count of how many free rushes to the qb they allowed. i was appalled at the amount of times i saw defenders in our qb's faces and olinemen dancing with no one to block (levi was the biggest offender here - he'd let someone race RIGHT PAST HIM and then try to double down on ghosts - i cannot emphasis enough how bad he is. mediocre? he'd have to improve by leaps and bounds to get to that level these days. enigma? only if you're wondering if he has to shower after games b/c he hasn't worked up a sweat. inconsistent? only if you're stupid.). and that's just the attempts at pass blocking (and i say "attempts" b/c to say otherwise would indicate that they actually blocked anyone at any time). runblocking? need we rehash that again? they should be made to practice in pink tutu's all week.
rest of the offense - hightower just isn't talented. we need to let go of the fruitless hope that he's a starting caliber nfl back. of course, our coaches calling the delayed draw doesn't help . . . dumbest offensive play in our playbook. and the rest of the bums? no effort. nice hands by EVERYONE. i realize the ball may be a bit slicker than normal, but again, the pats seem to be capable of catching the ball. and there was no separation for any of our wr's . . . and that's effort . . . or lack thereof. just a bunch of warm weather pansies.
special teams - just piss poor in all facets. get on the short bus. all of you.
defense - sigh. honestly, i don't even know where to begin. they are so bad in so many ways. the heartless effort by the d line, the complete inability to breakdown and contain. the gaping holes in the run game. the disappearance of our safeties. the continued poor tackling. it often looked like none of our team wanted to try b/c they might end up on the ground and it's cold there. oh wait, rolle ended up on the ground . . . every time he attempted to grab a foot (i refuse to call that tackling).
this team is worse than last year. i cannot remember a stretch like the one we're in to close the season at ANY time last year. not an embarrassment after embarrassment after embarrassment. as bad as we've ever been i cannot remember one prior cardinals team just refusing to play as this team did today. i simply cannot berate their effort enough. it was shameful. it was Madoff proportions. what we watched was football fraud. i think today you could walk up to these punks we call football players and openly question their integrity and they wouldn't respond b/c they were friggin' squirrels today. and that's doing a disservice to rodents. even if we finish 9-7 i think we are considerably worse than last year's 8-8 squad. we cannot nut up against the good teams and we routinely get rolled. i mean flat out undressed and embarrassed by good teams. i have been edging ever closer to the national pundits, but now i not only completely agree with them, but will champion their call-out of the cardinals as paper division champs. they would be sub .500 in any other division. they are not mediocre . . . they are a hair's width separated from the SF's of the league. not good.
i have so many other negative feelings and thoughts that i just cannot seem to verbalize at present. many of you know that i've been a longtime darksider, but how many of you have read a rant like this from me? usually i am content to make a point, maybe argue it a bit (okay, in the past it was a lot, but that's a few years ago already - i've mellowed considerably), and then let it go. so to make me step forward like this? well, it took a monumental effort on the part of the cards.
know where we are today? as i was watching the game it was third and 8, warner rolled out and threw a fluttering girl pass to someone (does it really matter?). the pass was about shin-high, the receiver didn't even make a stab at it. one very cute young lady to my right exclaimed to the another cuter younger lady to her right, "oh, that's embarrassing!" then she spotted me in my boldin jersey . . . and muttered, "oh, i'm sorry" dripping with pity. and there i sat, right back to that day in the bar with cheese as the winless raiders ripped us apart and people just patted us on the back and shook their heads or gave us backhanded props like, "hardcore man, hardcore." today, nay, in the last 5 games, we are as bad a cardinals team as we have ever been. and what do we have to look forward to? more embarrassment in the playoffs. great. can't wait.
