OT: Reds' Billy Hamilton might be the fastest player ever; has 104 stolen bases

[Brian in Mesa]

Reds farmhand Billy Hamilton might be the fastest player ever; has 104 stolen bases this year

http://sports.yahoo.com/news/reds-f...yer-ever--has-104-stolen-bases-this-year.html

Now it all makes sense. There had to be something that goads Billy Hamilton into doing everything fast. He talks quicker than John Moschitta Jr.. He eats with breeziness that would make Joey Chestnut blush. And when he runs – well, let's just say Billy Hamilton may run the bases faster than any baseball player in history, Bo Jackson and Deion Sanders included.

"It's the Dew," Hamilton said.

That's right. Forget the amphetamines, the 5-Hour Energy, the Monster, the Red Bull and every other dignity-sucking energy drink. Hamilton kicks it '90s old school. He pounds Mountain Dew like he's a Silicon Valley newbie on a coding bender. And with 104 stolen bases already this season for Bakersfield, the Cincinnati Reds' Class-A affiliate, he is riding the Yellow #5 wave to breaking the single-season stolen-base record in organized ball, Vince Coleman's 145 for Class-A Macon in 1983.

"There's something about Mountain Dew that gets me amped up," Hamilton said. "I feel like if I drink Mountain Dew, everything in my body gets ready to go. It helps me steal bases. Even the coaches will bring it to me."

 

[Gaddabout]

13.9 seconds around the bases is so freakish, I think I'd have to see that to believe it. If he's been hand-time at 3.4 to first base, he's still not the fastest ever. Mickey Mantle was the fastest from the left side at 3.1 and Bo Jackson clocked 3.2 from the right (Mantle was in the 3.3 category from the right, making him even more of a freaky athlete than Michael Jordan, IMO). Deion Sanders claimed to run a 3.3 home-to-first, but I don't know if that was confirmed. It's probably true. Ichiro is a 3.7, which should put it all the names I just mentioned in perspective: They're all ******* FAST!

 

[BC867]

"There's something about Mountain Dew that gets me amped up," Hamilton said. "I feel like if I drink Mountain Dew, everything in my body gets ready to go. It helps me steal bases. Even the coaches will bring it to me."

Of course, if he keeps up the Mountain Dew, his stomach will disintegrate by the age of 40. It is like selling your soul to the devil for twenty years of fame.