by Kent Somers - Apr. 14, 2008 07:44 PM
The Arizona Republic
http://www.azcentral.com/sports/cardinals/articles/2008/04/14/20080414tillman.html
In the four years since Pat Tillman was killed in Afghanistan, a multitude of voices have weighed in on all aspects of his life, from his selfless decision to leave a promising NFL career to become an Army Ranger, to the circumstances of his death, to the deception that followed it.
One of the few voices we haven't heard, however, belongs to the person closest to Tillman: his widow, Marie. She has made few public appearances over the past four years and granted no interviews. There have been no sit-downs with Katie Couric, no emotional appearances on Oprah, no sitting across the desk from Larry King.
That is changing - at least a little. Marie Tillman is increasing her level of involvement in the foundation that bears her late husband's name, and with that comes the opportunity to talk about Pat's impact on people, as well as the challenge of carrying on his legacy.
"I needed some time to be under the radar and to deal with things the way I needed to deal with them," she told The Republic in her first interview since her husband was killed. "And the work that I have been doing with the foundation from the beginning has been helpful in that process. It's something that has been important to me."
She politely declined to discuss many things she considers private, including Pat's decision to enter the Army, the circumstances of his death, family relationships and what the past four years have been like for the 31-year-old widow of America's most famous soldier.
She does not plan to write a book or in any other way detail how she dealt with the grief of losing her husband. She wants stories involving her to spin forward, partly because Pat didn't waste much time looking back and partly because she believes that private matters should remain just that.
"To me, the biggest part of (the foundation) is getting people to find out what they are passionate about and what kind of impact they want to have in their life, and empowering them to get out there and do it," she said. "I think that's how he (Pat) lived his life. I think that's how he approached things with his friends and with his family and all the people who encountered him. That was, in large part, the message that people got from him."
Marie and Pat were high school sweethearts at Leland High in San Jose but attended separate colleges. While Pat went on to stardom at ASU, Marie went to the University of California-Santa Barbara.
She moved to Arizona while Pat was with the Cardinals, and the two were married shortly before Pat joined the Army in 2002. Her life changed after April 22, 2004, the day Pat was killed by friendly fire.
Friends and family aren't going to expound on the subject but Alex Garwood, her brother-in-law and former executive director of the Pat Tillman Foundation, provided a hint.
"If you were to ask me before April 22, 2004, who the strongest person I've ever met is, I would have said Pat," he said. "If you'd ask me that now, I'd say Marie. That's not to take anything away from Pat, but it says a lot about Marie."
If people want to know about Marie's convictions and character, they should remember what Pat was like, Garwood said, and then imagine the type of woman "who would win his heart and be his best friend. That's a lot of horsepower and brains, the two of them in the same room."
Furthering excellence
John Bailon and his brother, Cheston, were Tillman scholars at ASU last year and still work closely with Marie on a project to expose kids from their hometown of Shiprock, N.M., to college. In June, they will bring their second group of kids to campus in an effort to inspire them to pursue their education.
The Bailon brothers served in the Marines and had just returned home from Iraq when they entered the Leadership Through Action program at ASU. John has spent time with families of soldiers killed in the war and watched their struggles to handle the loss.
"When I see Marie," John said, "her composure is so strong. Without a doubt, I know she's grieving that Pat is not here, but she carries herself so strong, and it's so motivating to see."
A convergence of factors led Marie Tillman to this point, where she is more comfortable lending her voice and name to the foundation. Garwood recently left his job as the foundation's executive director to return to private business, although he remains involved.
Marie, meanwhile, left her job as a producer for ESPN in the fall as plans were developing to expand the foundation's Leadership Through Action program at Arizona State from one year to four.
It seemed like the right time to take on a more public role in the foundation, she said.
"I was lucky, in Alex, to have someone who was able to take that front-and-center role so I could be involved but not have to be public," said Marie, who lives in Los Angeles but commutes to Phoenix often. "That really allowed me to be involved but also to have my privacy and deal with things with the time and the space that I needed."
Garwood was the face and voice of the organization from the time it was formed shortly after Pat's death. Marie has been on the board of directors since the formation and has worked behind the scenes interviewing applicants, helping to raise funds and working with Tillman Scholars at ASU.
Channeling the energy
But her public profile has been low. Other than speaking briefly at a Cardinals ceremony to retire Pat's jersey number, she has remained far from the limelight.
By stepping out a bit now, she said she hopes to shine that light on the foundation, rather than herself.
She has been energized by interviewing applicants to the program, which is giving scholarships worth up to $10,000 to 15 incoming students at ASU. There are plans, too, to take the program nationwide in some form.
The goal of the program is to tap into the passion and ingenuity of students to help them solve social problems, and each student is provided a mentor to help reach his or her goals.
Over the past three years, Tillman Scholars at ASU have done amazing things, Marie said, ranging from helping Native American kids on reservations succeed academically, to helping to break the cycle of poverty, to boosting recycling efforts on ASU's campus.
The foundation and students have helped her cope with the tragedy of her husband's death, Marie said. Turning cynical "is an option" in such times, Marie said, but she credits her work with helping her avoid that.
"I think there is such great energy and optimism with a lot of these students that it's inspiring to be around," he said.
"That's been helpful."
So, too, have the cards, letters, comments and stories from people around the country who have been inspired by Pat "to do something different in their lives because of the choices that he made or the way he lived his life."
That's the message she wants to convey, the only story she wants to tell.
"I think when you're close to somebody, and something has such a huge impact in your life, it is sometimes surprising to see how it impacts other people's lives, as well."
The Arizona Republic
http://www.azcentral.com/sports/cardinals/articles/2008/04/14/20080414tillman.html
In the four years since Pat Tillman was killed in Afghanistan, a multitude of voices have weighed in on all aspects of his life, from his selfless decision to leave a promising NFL career to become an Army Ranger, to the circumstances of his death, to the deception that followed it.
One of the few voices we haven't heard, however, belongs to the person closest to Tillman: his widow, Marie. She has made few public appearances over the past four years and granted no interviews. There have been no sit-downs with Katie Couric, no emotional appearances on Oprah, no sitting across the desk from Larry King.
That is changing - at least a little. Marie Tillman is increasing her level of involvement in the foundation that bears her late husband's name, and with that comes the opportunity to talk about Pat's impact on people, as well as the challenge of carrying on his legacy.
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"I needed some time to be under the radar and to deal with things the way I needed to deal with them," she told The Republic in her first interview since her husband was killed. "And the work that I have been doing with the foundation from the beginning has been helpful in that process. It's something that has been important to me."
She politely declined to discuss many things she considers private, including Pat's decision to enter the Army, the circumstances of his death, family relationships and what the past four years have been like for the 31-year-old widow of America's most famous soldier.
She does not plan to write a book or in any other way detail how she dealt with the grief of losing her husband. She wants stories involving her to spin forward, partly because Pat didn't waste much time looking back and partly because she believes that private matters should remain just that.
"To me, the biggest part of (the foundation) is getting people to find out what they are passionate about and what kind of impact they want to have in their life, and empowering them to get out there and do it," she said. "I think that's how he (Pat) lived his life. I think that's how he approached things with his friends and with his family and all the people who encountered him. That was, in large part, the message that people got from him."
Marie and Pat were high school sweethearts at Leland High in San Jose but attended separate colleges. While Pat went on to stardom at ASU, Marie went to the University of California-Santa Barbara.
She moved to Arizona while Pat was with the Cardinals, and the two were married shortly before Pat joined the Army in 2002. Her life changed after April 22, 2004, the day Pat was killed by friendly fire.
Friends and family aren't going to expound on the subject but Alex Garwood, her brother-in-law and former executive director of the Pat Tillman Foundation, provided a hint.
"If you were to ask me before April 22, 2004, who the strongest person I've ever met is, I would have said Pat," he said. "If you'd ask me that now, I'd say Marie. That's not to take anything away from Pat, but it says a lot about Marie."
If people want to know about Marie's convictions and character, they should remember what Pat was like, Garwood said, and then imagine the type of woman "who would win his heart and be his best friend. That's a lot of horsepower and brains, the two of them in the same room."
Furthering excellence
John Bailon and his brother, Cheston, were Tillman scholars at ASU last year and still work closely with Marie on a project to expose kids from their hometown of Shiprock, N.M., to college. In June, they will bring their second group of kids to campus in an effort to inspire them to pursue their education.
The Bailon brothers served in the Marines and had just returned home from Iraq when they entered the Leadership Through Action program at ASU. John has spent time with families of soldiers killed in the war and watched their struggles to handle the loss.
"When I see Marie," John said, "her composure is so strong. Without a doubt, I know she's grieving that Pat is not here, but she carries herself so strong, and it's so motivating to see."
A convergence of factors led Marie Tillman to this point, where she is more comfortable lending her voice and name to the foundation. Garwood recently left his job as the foundation's executive director to return to private business, although he remains involved.
Marie, meanwhile, left her job as a producer for ESPN in the fall as plans were developing to expand the foundation's Leadership Through Action program at Arizona State from one year to four.
It seemed like the right time to take on a more public role in the foundation, she said.
"I was lucky, in Alex, to have someone who was able to take that front-and-center role so I could be involved but not have to be public," said Marie, who lives in Los Angeles but commutes to Phoenix often. "That really allowed me to be involved but also to have my privacy and deal with things with the time and the space that I needed."
Garwood was the face and voice of the organization from the time it was formed shortly after Pat's death. Marie has been on the board of directors since the formation and has worked behind the scenes interviewing applicants, helping to raise funds and working with Tillman Scholars at ASU.
Channeling the energy
But her public profile has been low. Other than speaking briefly at a Cardinals ceremony to retire Pat's jersey number, she has remained far from the limelight.
By stepping out a bit now, she said she hopes to shine that light on the foundation, rather than herself.
She has been energized by interviewing applicants to the program, which is giving scholarships worth up to $10,000 to 15 incoming students at ASU. There are plans, too, to take the program nationwide in some form.
The goal of the program is to tap into the passion and ingenuity of students to help them solve social problems, and each student is provided a mentor to help reach his or her goals.
Over the past three years, Tillman Scholars at ASU have done amazing things, Marie said, ranging from helping Native American kids on reservations succeed academically, to helping to break the cycle of poverty, to boosting recycling efforts on ASU's campus.
The foundation and students have helped her cope with the tragedy of her husband's death, Marie said. Turning cynical "is an option" in such times, Marie said, but she credits her work with helping her avoid that.
"I think there is such great energy and optimism with a lot of these students that it's inspiring to be around," he said.
"That's been helpful."
So, too, have the cards, letters, comments and stories from people around the country who have been inspired by Pat "to do something different in their lives because of the choices that he made or the way he lived his life."
That's the message she wants to convey, the only story she wants to tell.
"I think when you're close to somebody, and something has such a huge impact in your life, it is sometimes surprising to see how it impacts other people's lives, as well."
