Owens talks to God

Southpaw

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Jay Mariotti

T.O. taking his orders straight from top

February 2, 2005

BY JAY MARIOTTI SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST
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JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- On a cold, chalky day in southern Georgia, or wherever we've been sentenced for the week, there was no visible evidence of divine intervention at work. But God is here, I am told, positioned above Alltel Stadium and preoccupied by his duty below. Apparently, all disease sufferers, soldiers at war and bridge-jumpers will have to wait until after Super Bowl XXXIX for help.

Because God's primary mission is Terrell Owens.

"God has already cleared me to play,'' he said. "God said, 'Go.'''

Do not be confused about this persistent issue any longer. The reason T.O. will return Sunday, just six weeks after suffering severe ankle and leg injuries that were supposed to take 12 weeks to heal, is because God said so. Never mind that Mark Myerson, the surgeon who operated on Owens in December, refuses to clear him. Never mind that Andy Reid, the Philadelphia Eagles coach, said Tuesday he's still uncertain about Owens' status. T.O. says he's going to play because God wants T.O. to play, though he's curiously mum about what God thought when T.O. leered at Nicollette Sheridan.

"It really doesn't matter what any doctor says,'' Owens said. "I've got the best doctor of all, and that's God. God will decide. I will be here on Sunday. I will play.''

And please understand that T.O.'s comeback, in the biggest game of his life, isn't just a Willis Reed moment. This is M-word territory, world. "If you don't believe in miracles, then wait until Sunday. I'm at 81 percent right now. On Sunday, I will be 181 percent,'' said Owens, wearing his No. 81. "To be walking three or four weeks after my surgery was very eye-opening to people. For me to be running routes at this point is also eye-opening. God put me here for a certain reason. I got hurt for a reason.''

Know, too, that the phenomenon of Terrell Owens was entirely preordained. That day he stomped on the Dallas Cowboys' star logo? That time he suggested Jeff Garcia, his former quarterback in San Francisco, is gay? All the other stunts, insults, sideline incidents and Sharpie interludes? Yep, God. "I'm a special individual,'' said T.O., standing on a podium with hundreds of media recording his every syllable for posterity. "What I do on the field causes a lot of people to criticize me. A lot of people say I'm controversial, and they may be right. But I am who I am, and I'm not going to change. God laid out this plan for me. He has a plan for everybody, and obviously, it was his plan for me to be controversial. And I accept that.''
 

sundevilscott

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I can't stand the Owens or the Eagles so I actually am going to pick the Pats even though I am sick of them also.
 

CaptTurbo

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I wonder if Owens and Bush can conferance call with god?

Oh wait Bush only talks to Jesus. Or arent they the same thing? Or the son? Ah Im all confused.

I DO know Andy Warhol had a gold phone that spoke with god but he had nothing to say to him!

Unfortuantely the rest of us have to use the pay phone on sundays lol
 

blindseyed

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T.O. cracks me up, I get him. I used hate him so bad and then I got the joke. If anything, he is entertaining and not in a Randy Moss way either
 

Cardinal Bob

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Didn't God (or Jesus) talk to Deion too?

Conclusion? If you're a self-involved, egotistical blowhard, you too can get an audience wit da man! :thumbup:
 

Jersey Girl

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I can't stand Jay Mariotti. I think I dislike him more than T.O.

T.O. is T.O. and T.O. likes to talk, mostly about himself. What can you do?
 

Crazy Canuck

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andikrist said:
I'm waiting for the day when some pro athelete thanks Satan :D

ATHELETE's may just do that... but, I doubt - an ATHLETE would. :D
 

TRW

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So, if T.O. goes out and breaks his ankle again would God say "I was misquoted!"?
 

40yearfan

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TO is in for a big surprise. God is just playing with him. He told me that when TO is running his first route, he will be struck by lightning.
 
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