The Northman

[Town Drunk]

Looks really good.

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[Brian in Mesa]

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[Stout]

I was stoked to see this. Seemed like a no-brainer for a great movie with the cast, era, story, etc. I was so, so wrong. This was poor. I get what they were trying to do, but it failed utterly, IMO. Aside from a few fun bits, and some enjoyable moments of mysticism, this was a waste of nearly 2 1/2 hours.

Spoiler

Trying to paste the Hamlet story into this was pretty damn lame. Halfhearted at best. The revenge story seemed pretty basic in the trailer, but it ended up being more basic than a Karen ordering a 20 dollar Starbucks drink. Compared to Northman, the revenge trope in Conan was as good as, well, Shakespeare.

Plus, I'm sorry, what poor, isolated minor lord in Iceland is going to be rich enough to send to the lands of the fricking RUS for slaves? And what idiot young warrior thinks the only way to travel is to become a slave? Blah.

 

[Shane]

This movie sucked…. And about an hour too long of suckage

 

[Chaplin]

So disappointing that this is so bad. I was looking forward to it.

 

[Finito]

I was stoked to see this. Seemed like a no-brainer for a great movie with the cast, era, story, etc. I was so, so wrong. This was poor. I get what they were trying to do, but it failed utterly, IMO. Aside from a few fun bits, and some enjoyable moments of mysticism, this was a waste of nearly 2 1/2 hours.

Spoiler

Trying to paste the Hamlet story into this was pretty damn lame. Halfhearted at best. The revenge story seemed pretty basic in the trailer, but it ended up being more basic than a Karen ordering a 20 dollar Starbucks drink. Compared to Northman, the revenge trope in Conan was as good as, well, Shakespeare.

Plus, I'm sorry, what poor, isolated minor lord in Iceland is going to be rich enough to send to the lands of the fricking RUS for slaves? And what idiot young warrior thinks the only way to travel is to become a slave? Blah.

Agree with all of this. How this is getting the great reviews it’s getting is beyond me.

Visually really cool but the story just meh

 

[Stout]

Agree with all of this. How this is getting the great reviews it’s getting is beyond me.

Visually really cool but the story just meh

The audience didn't like it. Snooty critics did.