newguy1979 (5/15/2007 at 3:07 PM)
The NBA league office today reached a decision after reviewing the fight, which occurred near the end of game 4 of the Suns-Spurs Western Conference Semi-finals.
As a result, the entire Suns team and coaching staff will be suspended for two games, thus forcing them to forfeit the series to the Spurs.When reached for comment, Commissioner David Stern said that he didnt feel that the decision really had any affect on the outcome of the series. He noted that since the Spurs have Bowen Texas Ranger, The Human Sedative, Tim Duncan, and the Popeye-like forearms of Robert Horry (a.k.a Lord of the Rings), that the Spurs series victory was a foregone conclusion anyway.
Besides, it was the least they could do after that whole Joey Crawford thing.The league also dished out several other punitive measures against various members of the Suns team:Amare Stoudemire will now be allowed only 3 fouls per game for the rest of his career, as opposed to the usual 6. Mike DAntoni will be fined $50,000 for destroying official NBA stationary during his game three post-game conference. He will also be required to shave his mustache. Boris Diaw will be deported to France. As compensation, the Suns will be given coupons for free Ciabatta sandwiches from Jack-in-the-box.
Raja Bell will be required to play 25 games wearing boxing gloves. Shawn Marion will be required to wait a minimum of three seconds between jumps. Kurt Thomas will be required to have his eyes fixed so that they look normal. Steve Nash will be forced to swallow 15 pounds of Canadian Bacon, and serve as a human piata during halftime at next years All-Star Game.
Additional notes from the NBA front office:Tony Parkers request to wear Eva Longorias dresses during games has been approved. Bruce Bowen will no longer be considered ugly. If the Spurs and Pistons meet in the finals again this year, David Stern has invited everyone who wants to watch the series to join him in the den of his family home to watch it on his cool plasma TV. Brent Barry will once again be allowed to mention in public that he is the son of Hall-of-Famer Rick Barry a ban that had been imposed due to the younger Barrys general lack of versatility, and an absence of any discernable Basketball skills. Tim Duncan will be allowed to sell advertising on his Jersey in the same way that Nascar drivers do. He has already signed lucrative contracts with Xanax and Ambien.
http://myespn.go.com/blogs/truehoop/0-24-66/Flagrant-Fouls--Leaving-the-Bench--and-Suspensions.html
The NBA league office today reached a decision after reviewing the fight, which occurred near the end of game 4 of the Suns-Spurs Western Conference Semi-finals.
As a result, the entire Suns team and coaching staff will be suspended for two games, thus forcing them to forfeit the series to the Spurs.When reached for comment, Commissioner David Stern said that he didnt feel that the decision really had any affect on the outcome of the series. He noted that since the Spurs have Bowen Texas Ranger, The Human Sedative, Tim Duncan, and the Popeye-like forearms of Robert Horry (a.k.a Lord of the Rings), that the Spurs series victory was a foregone conclusion anyway.
Besides, it was the least they could do after that whole Joey Crawford thing.The league also dished out several other punitive measures against various members of the Suns team:Amare Stoudemire will now be allowed only 3 fouls per game for the rest of his career, as opposed to the usual 6. Mike DAntoni will be fined $50,000 for destroying official NBA stationary during his game three post-game conference. He will also be required to shave his mustache. Boris Diaw will be deported to France. As compensation, the Suns will be given coupons for free Ciabatta sandwiches from Jack-in-the-box.
Raja Bell will be required to play 25 games wearing boxing gloves. Shawn Marion will be required to wait a minimum of three seconds between jumps. Kurt Thomas will be required to have his eyes fixed so that they look normal. Steve Nash will be forced to swallow 15 pounds of Canadian Bacon, and serve as a human piata during halftime at next years All-Star Game.
Additional notes from the NBA front office:Tony Parkers request to wear Eva Longorias dresses during games has been approved. Bruce Bowen will no longer be considered ugly. If the Spurs and Pistons meet in the finals again this year, David Stern has invited everyone who wants to watch the series to join him in the den of his family home to watch it on his cool plasma TV. Brent Barry will once again be allowed to mention in public that he is the son of Hall-of-Famer Rick Barry a ban that had been imposed due to the younger Barrys general lack of versatility, and an absence of any discernable Basketball skills. Tim Duncan will be allowed to sell advertising on his Jersey in the same way that Nascar drivers do. He has already signed lucrative contracts with Xanax and Ambien.
http://myespn.go.com/blogs/truehoop/0-24-66/Flagrant-Fouls--Leaving-the-Bench--and-Suspensions.html
