Too Easy...Caption This!
- Thread starter az643dp
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az643dp
"The Tugboat"
"I hope that this will prove to Jody Foster that I truly love her!"
Houdini
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Unrelated, but I was kind of ticked at the Dbacks when they didn't want to sign autographs for 10 minutes before the game like JC asked. When you see nuts like this bozo out there, I can see why some players might want to shy away from autographs. Bozos like this will end up ruining autograph sessions and other events where you come in contact with the players. Carry on..
Jetstream Green
Kool Aid with a touch of vodka
And with the 5th pick the...
True to team character, the Dallas Cowboys selected Alfonzo Dumba$s, LB from Tech State with their 5th pick. Here is a picture of him on the way to the Cowboy complex to meet Jerry Jones and the press.
True to team character, the Dallas Cowboys selected Alfonzo Dumba$s, LB from Tech State with their 5th pick. Here is a picture of him on the way to the Cowboy complex to meet Jerry Jones and the press.
"That Beeatch Tonya Harding kicked my arse with a hubcap."
TrentAZCards
Veteran
"Man, why'd I try to steal Officer Farva's doughnuts and his liter of cola?"
"I have a headache. Please take me home to my trailer."
"I kept getting passed over for my shot on Jerry Springers "Sheep and the Men who Love Them" episode so figurd, what the heck. I'll get my fame this way. My head feels like I drank a whole bottle of NightTrain."
They guy looks a lot like Chuck Powell.
He does live and do radio in Chicago now.
Just a thought.
He does live and do radio in Chicago now.
Just a thought.
Actually he is back in the valley. He does a Sunday / Saturday morning show on the Duece. It may be syndicated national - I don't know.
ChiCard
Registered
I know you're my son but that's funny!!!!!
Classic column about the fans running onto the field:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-0304170248apr17,1,3399341.column?coll=chi-news-hed
No punishment too gruesome for Sox spoilers
Published April 17, 2003
Talking on the Spike O'Dell WGN morning radio show about the Rat Boy II episode at Soxpark--the drunken morons running onto the field, including one who jumped an umpire--I happened to say some brutish and nasty things.
Naturally, Spike egged me on and got me to throw in some crude and unsophisticated ideas, too, involving certain gruesome carnival-style punishments for the Rat Boys and other public humiliations for their families and friends.
Such comments are beneath sophisticated columnists. Happily, as you know, I am not one of these. I'm a White Sox season-ticket holder, and I'm angry and embarrassed.
And thinking about it later, I really liked the brutish ideas, and the crude ones, too, including the new game: "Hit the Rat Boy with the Baseball, Win a Polish."
Here's why: Who is going to pay for the Rat Boy I episode last year, in which a drunken father, William Ligue Jr., and son from Alsip--with their mullet haircuts smelling of beer--attacked Kansas City coach Tom Gamboa?
Who is going to pay for Tuesday's Rat Boy II, in which jerks ran onto the field, and one of them grabbed the leg of umpire Laz Diaz, like some berserk, sex-starved male cocker spaniel?
Not the ballplayers. Not the owners. The Sox fans will pay.
The fool who went after Diaz paid. The bandage on his head and the blood on his shirt indicate that some justice was served. But he didn't pay nearly enough. I was an eyewitness. If he files a lawsuit, I'm sure thousands of Sox fans will testify that we didn't see a thing.
We're already paying with severe embarrassment. Minnesota Twins first baseman Doug Mientkiewicz didn't miss the chance to stick it to Chicago and said Sox fans should be penalized.
"I think they should take the All-Star Game away from them, honestly," Mientkiewicz was quoted as saying in Tribune Sox beat writer Teddy Greenstein's story. "You can't be having first-base coaches and umpires getting attacked. That's ridiculous."
Added security will be demanded, and that'll cost money. And who will pick up the expense for the extra cops to keep the next wave of drunken Rat Boys off the field?
Again, not the players. Not the owners. The fans will pay, from those like my cousin George and me, who buy a full season's worth, and the fan who gets tickets for one or two games a year. Ultimately, we're going to pay.
"And I don't like that," said George, cracking his knuckles as we made plans to attend Wednesday night's game at Soxpark. "All they're going to get is a slap on the wrist. If we're going to pay, we should get something out of it."
Absolutely.
On some days on the concourse behind the bleachers at Soxpark, you can pay $1 to throw three baseballs into a stall, the speed measured by a radar gun. Why not release the Rat Boys, let them scamper, and if you bean one, you get a Polish?
"What about brain damage?" George asked.
That's impossible.
Other penalties could include stapling real dead rats to the necks of their parents, siblings, girlfriends, teachers and spiritual advisers, so that the rest of society would know that they'd failed.
Or, perhaps just lock the Rat Boys in the clubhouse, allowing the ballplayers to privately explain things. But judging from the bandage on the one who went after the umpire, it seems they already picked up on that.
Currently, running out onto the field is a misdemeanor, punishable by a weak slap on the wrist. That must be increased, pronto. One of the leading Sox fans is Illinois Supreme Court Justice Thomas Fitzgerald, and I'm sure he can call a legislator who'd be happy to sponsor amendments to increase penalties for ballpark stupidity.
But to what? Two years in prison with the Gangster Disciples and Aryan Nation, or three?
You know what will happen. Lawyers will form the Be Kind to Rat Boys Society, and recruit do-gooders. Politicians under federal investigation on unrelated corruption issues will want to grant them clemency in cheap appeals for support--calculating that Rat Boys serve on grand juries.
"If a Rat Boy has no friend," some soon-to-be-indicted pol might say, "then I will be that friend. So, today, I proudly open my arms to Rat Boys. And do you like my new mullet?"
We'll be subjected to tear-jerker stories about how the Rat Boys were denied love and support as children, and didn't get to release their violent fantasies through video games because their common-law parents spent all the money on cheap whiskey, Slim Jims and Hostess Ho Hos.
There'll be a few Barbara Walters moments, the Rat Boy's eyes filling with tears, saying he's so sick of Ho Hos. He'll say these poignant words: "I didn't mean to."
I'd rather win a Polish.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-0304170248apr17,1,3399341.column?coll=chi-news-hed
No punishment too gruesome for Sox spoilers
Published April 17, 2003
Talking on the Spike O'Dell WGN morning radio show about the Rat Boy II episode at Soxpark--the drunken morons running onto the field, including one who jumped an umpire--I happened to say some brutish and nasty things.
Naturally, Spike egged me on and got me to throw in some crude and unsophisticated ideas, too, involving certain gruesome carnival-style punishments for the Rat Boys and other public humiliations for their families and friends.
Such comments are beneath sophisticated columnists. Happily, as you know, I am not one of these. I'm a White Sox season-ticket holder, and I'm angry and embarrassed.
And thinking about it later, I really liked the brutish ideas, and the crude ones, too, including the new game: "Hit the Rat Boy with the Baseball, Win a Polish."
Here's why: Who is going to pay for the Rat Boy I episode last year, in which a drunken father, William Ligue Jr., and son from Alsip--with their mullet haircuts smelling of beer--attacked Kansas City coach Tom Gamboa?
Who is going to pay for Tuesday's Rat Boy II, in which jerks ran onto the field, and one of them grabbed the leg of umpire Laz Diaz, like some berserk, sex-starved male cocker spaniel?
Not the ballplayers. Not the owners. The Sox fans will pay.
The fool who went after Diaz paid. The bandage on his head and the blood on his shirt indicate that some justice was served. But he didn't pay nearly enough. I was an eyewitness. If he files a lawsuit, I'm sure thousands of Sox fans will testify that we didn't see a thing.
We're already paying with severe embarrassment. Minnesota Twins first baseman Doug Mientkiewicz didn't miss the chance to stick it to Chicago and said Sox fans should be penalized.
"I think they should take the All-Star Game away from them, honestly," Mientkiewicz was quoted as saying in Tribune Sox beat writer Teddy Greenstein's story. "You can't be having first-base coaches and umpires getting attacked. That's ridiculous."
Added security will be demanded, and that'll cost money. And who will pick up the expense for the extra cops to keep the next wave of drunken Rat Boys off the field?
Again, not the players. Not the owners. The fans will pay, from those like my cousin George and me, who buy a full season's worth, and the fan who gets tickets for one or two games a year. Ultimately, we're going to pay.
"And I don't like that," said George, cracking his knuckles as we made plans to attend Wednesday night's game at Soxpark. "All they're going to get is a slap on the wrist. If we're going to pay, we should get something out of it."
Absolutely.
On some days on the concourse behind the bleachers at Soxpark, you can pay $1 to throw three baseballs into a stall, the speed measured by a radar gun. Why not release the Rat Boys, let them scamper, and if you bean one, you get a Polish?
"What about brain damage?" George asked.
That's impossible.
Other penalties could include stapling real dead rats to the necks of their parents, siblings, girlfriends, teachers and spiritual advisers, so that the rest of society would know that they'd failed.
Or, perhaps just lock the Rat Boys in the clubhouse, allowing the ballplayers to privately explain things. But judging from the bandage on the one who went after the umpire, it seems they already picked up on that.
Currently, running out onto the field is a misdemeanor, punishable by a weak slap on the wrist. That must be increased, pronto. One of the leading Sox fans is Illinois Supreme Court Justice Thomas Fitzgerald, and I'm sure he can call a legislator who'd be happy to sponsor amendments to increase penalties for ballpark stupidity.
But to what? Two years in prison with the Gangster Disciples and Aryan Nation, or three?
You know what will happen. Lawyers will form the Be Kind to Rat Boys Society, and recruit do-gooders. Politicians under federal investigation on unrelated corruption issues will want to grant them clemency in cheap appeals for support--calculating that Rat Boys serve on grand juries.
"If a Rat Boy has no friend," some soon-to-be-indicted pol might say, "then I will be that friend. So, today, I proudly open my arms to Rat Boys. And do you like my new mullet?"
We'll be subjected to tear-jerker stories about how the Rat Boys were denied love and support as children, and didn't get to release their violent fantasies through video games because their common-law parents spent all the money on cheap whiskey, Slim Jims and Hostess Ho Hos.
There'll be a few Barbara Walters moments, the Rat Boy's eyes filling with tears, saying he's so sick of Ho Hos. He'll say these poignant words: "I didn't mean to."
I'd rather win a Polish.
SECTION 11
vibraslap
isn't that from vegas?
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