Underworld: Blood Wars

[Brian in Mesa]

Underworld: Blood Wars

Release date: January 6, 2017
Studio: Screen Gems (Sony), Lakeshore Entertainment
Director: Anna Foerster
MPAA Rating: R (for strong bloody violence, and some sexuality)
Screenwriter: Cory Goodman
Genre: Thriller, Action, Horror
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Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Theo James, Tobias Menzies, Lara Pulver, Charles Dance, James Faulkner, Peter Andersson, Clementine Nicholson, Bradley James, Daisy Head

Plot Summary: Kate Beckinsale returns as Selene. Theo James is also back as Selene’s ally David, reprising the role he played in "Underworld: Awakening."Tobias Menzies and Lara Pulver take on the roles of a formidable new Lycan leader and a fiercely ambitious Vampire, and Charles Dance again plays Vampire elder Thomas.

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[Bert]

For what it was, this wasn't too bad. I mean take it for what it is, it was far better than the previous 82 minute chapter of nonsense.

I mean let's be honest, I'd watch Kate Beckinsale do her taxes, so I'm not exactly objective.

There were actually some cool twists and turns with the plot.

However, the thing that drove me nuts all movie was my inner nerd freaking out about the inconsistent Vampire "rules."

Spoiler: Silly Stuff

First off, didn't Kate get the blood of the original vampire and thus became the strongest thing ever? So why is she getting her ass kicked all movie?

Secondly, since when does Slitting a vampires throat, breaking their necks and stabbing them in the gut kill a vampire? Seriously, one second these things are indestructible, the next they die from papercuts.

If you see it and you are OCD like me you will notice them all over the place. Selene has this Super Saiyan mode where she moves so fast she is a blur yet she never breaks it out when it would be most beneficial. In this movie and previous, we see Vampires running at super speed, yet they move completely normally in various parts of the movie when going fast would be best lol.

They kept teasing the Spirit realm but never went into it except to say; Selene like, went to the spirit realm or something, and that's why she's not dead...

The bad chicks assistant/designated cunnilingous intern murders like 20 of his fellow coven vampires for her, then the second he finds out she is not technically the boss he's like; Bro my loyalty is to this coven not to you! The dude from Divergent is all like, cool bruh, thanks for your support.

How about Michael becoming a "hybrid" and so much being made out of that in the original film, yet it never amounted to anything and now he's apparently dead? Most useless super-character ever! Unless he goes to the spirit realm or something and gets brought back inexplicably. lol I guess all in all he got to put a baby in Selene, so he must be pretty stoked about that.

Speaking of Vampire babies? What the hell? All these vampires apparently are having babies yet they've talked in the past how this is impossible, with Selene and Michael being the exception except they never explained why that worked either. lol

For being super human "gods" the Vampires in this series sure are getting their asses handed to them all the time by humans and Lycans... They should put a gym in the castle or something.

Kate Beckinsale is the hottest women of all time, and I'll debate that with anyone.