Alone in the Dark

[Brian in Mesa]

Alone in the Dark

Release Date: January 28, 2005
Studio: Lions Gate Films
Director: Uwe Boll
Screenwriter: Elan Mastai, Michael Roesch, Peter Scheerer
Genre: Action, Horror, Thriller
Website: Alone in the Dark

Starring: Christian Slater, Stephen Dorff, Tara Reid, Will Sanderson, Ed Anders, Robert Bruce, Daniel Cudmore, Mike Dopud, John Fallon, Catherine Lough Haggquist, Ho Sung Pak, Malcom Scott, Darren Shahlavi, Francoise Yip

Plot Summary: In "Alone in the Dark," Edward Carnby (Christian Slater), detective of the paranormal, unexplained and supernatural, investigates the recent, mysterious death of a friend with clues leading to "Shadow Island," that brings him face to face with bizarre horrors that prove both psychologically disturbing and lethal, as he discovers that evil demons worshiped by an ancient culture called the Abskani are planning on coming back to life in the 21st century to once again take over the world.

Based on the best-selling Atari videogame series.

 

[mdamien13]

Hands down the WORST movie I have ever seen in a theater (and I've seen House of the Dead, Batman & Robin, and Van Helsing)

But don't take my word for it. Here's some other reviews;

"...films like "Battlefield Earth" and "The Adventures of Pluto Nash" await a film of this magnitude because it gets awfully lonely on the island of misfit movies." [movie review] Gazette (MD) Jeffrey Lyles

0/4 "Director Uwe Boll (is) a latter-day Ed Wood who fancies himself a cross between action-sytlish John Woo and B-movie horror-ific John Carpenter." [movie review] SPLICEDWire Rob Blackwelder

0/5 "as predictable as watching a bag of microwave popcorn pop and as terrifying as a herd of dust bunnies" [movie review] Killer Movie Reviews Andrea Chase

F "If anyone were pondering what Ed Wood would be like today if he were armed with foreign financing and computer effects, look no further than Uwe Boll." [movie review] FilmJerk.com Brian Orndorf

.5/4 "This is jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring, 'I-can't-believe-someone-made-this-crap' badness we're dealing with." [movie review] TheMovieBoy.com Dustin Putman

.5/4 "Saying Uwe Boll’s Alone in the Dark is better than his 2003 American debut House of the Dead is akin to praising syphilis for not being HIV." [movie review] Slant Magazine Nicholas Schager

F "Terrible beyond belief, like the worst 1940s serial ever made. As for Slater and Dorff...well, they've been in worse movies--wait a minute, no they haven't." [movie review] One Guy's Opinion Frank Swietek

1/5 "Obvious dry humping to inappropriate music doesn’t cut it in a horror flick – at least give us some skin." [movie review] CinemaBlend.com Joshua Tyler

0/4 "you need an actor who can make the words SOUND smart, and Reid won't be winning a Nobel Prize anytime soon (she's proof that alcohol kills brain cells … with a vengeance)." [movie review]

 

[Pariah]

I hear this movie is just so-so...

 

[Brian in Mesa]

"This horror film, spun off from an old Atari video game, is so inept on every level, you wonder why the distributor didn't release it straight to video, or better, toss it directly into the trash."
-- Stephen Holden, NEW YORK TIMES

"Alone in the Dark co-stars perpetual party-girl Tara Reid as an archeologist. That alone should give you some clue as to how bad this movie is."
-- Bob Townsend, ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION

"There are some stupid films that rock, if you turn your brain off and enjoy them. Alone in the Dark isn't one of these, though it is very stupid."
-- Michael Wilmington, CHICAGO TRIBUNE

At least the reviews rock...

 

[Phlegyas]

More classic games are turned into crap movies. Prince of Persia, with its script being penned by Jordan Mechner, is our only hope.

 

[Ryanwb]

More classic games are turned into crap movies. Prince of Persia, with its script being penned by Jordan Mechner, is our only hope.

You wanna say something about Super Mario Bros?

 

[Brown_Blood]

You wanna say something about Super Mario Bros?

LOL! That was a hilarious movie! So stupid that it was funny. <cough> not that I actually saw it...um...it was a friend of mine....yeah, a friend.....<cough>

 

[mdamien13]

More classic games are turned into crap movies. Prince of Persia, with its script being penned by Jordan Mechner, is our only hope.

What was wrong with Street Fighter?

 

[Brown_Blood]

What was wrong with Street Fighter?

I'm embarrassed to say I saw that one too. How about the Mortal Kombat movie?

 

[mdamien13]

I'm embarrassed to say I saw that one too.

I'm embarrassed to say that I can still quote the speech that Van Damme gives to his U.N. troops verbatim.