Apologies

[AZCB34]

Sorry for the early jump on my last 2 albums but I will gone this weekend to Albuquerque...didn't want to slack off

 

[KingLouieLouie]

Sorry for the early jump on my last 2 albums but I will gone this weekend to Albuquerque...didn't want to slack off

No problem, especially since those are all (have been) brilliant choices!

Have a safe and fun trip to Albuquerque!

"Warming-up" in the bullpen for next week is Pariah (who is scheduled to start this coming Monday)......

Speaking of Albuquerque..... This thread wouldnt be complete w/out
Weird Al's song dedicated to that city....

"Albuquerque"
Weird Al:

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
You know the place
well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy

Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast

Awww - Big bowl of sauerkraut
Every single mornin
It wa driving me crazy

I said to my mom
I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old

That's when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
And the towels are oh so fluffy
Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street will glady shave your back for a nickel

Wacka wacka doodoo yeah

Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That's right, a first class one-way ticket to

Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Oh yeah
You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me
You know why?

'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position

Ah ha ha ha
Ah ha ha
Ahhhh

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's OK, they're clean

Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
And I turned on the SpectraVision
And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door

Well now, who could that be?
I say "Who is it?"
No answer
"Who is it?"
There's no answer
"WHO IS IT?"
They're not sayin' anything

So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
And he's like "Tough"
And I'm like "Give it"
And he's like "Make me"
And I'm like "'Kay"
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed, you better believe it
And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later, I heard a farmiliar voice
And you know what it said?
I'll tell you what it said

It said
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts

So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
I said "You got any bear claws?"
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
"No, we're outta bear claws"
I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
I said "OK, I'll take that"

So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
(rabid gnawing sounds)
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin' me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head"
I believe it went a little something like this . . .

Doh
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
Oh, oh God, oh God
Oh, get 'em off me
Oh, oh God
Ah, (more screaming)

I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Like a constipated weiner dog
And as luck wouls have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a caligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
I'll never forget the first thing she said to me.
She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"

That's when I knew it was true love
We were inseperable after that
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married and we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah

But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said "Woah, hold on now, baby"
"I'm just not ready for that kinda commitment"
So we broke up and I never saw her again
But that's just the way things go

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Anyway, things really started lookin' upi for me
Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
I even made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude

OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So I did

And then he gets all indignant on me
He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
Well, that's just great
How was I supposed to know that?
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy
So what's he complaining about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bite in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
And I'm like "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
(screaming sounds)
You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um, um, where was I?
Kinda lost my train of thought

Uh, well, uh, OK
Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is

I hate sauerkraut

That's all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandry
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
Somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up universe of ours
There's still a little place called

Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque

I said "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"B" (B)
"U" (U)
"querque" (querque)

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque

(belch)

 

[FischerKing]

Ugh - Albuquerque...sorry man.

Shawn

 

[FischerKing]

Good pick Louie - I love Al.

Shawn

 

[Chaz]

Holy Crap! I love that "song". It just cracks me up.

You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head"
I believe it went a little something like this . . .

Doh
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
Oh, oh God, oh God
Oh, get 'em off me
Oh, oh God
Ah, (more screaming)

 

[AZCB34]

Ugh - Albuquerque...sorry man.

Shawn

I really like Albuquerque. I spent alot of time there growing up through now. In the grand scheme, I would prefer to live there than Phoenix but when we decided to come to Az, Albuquerque was still trying to figure themselves out. I like their weather better actually (not complaining about PHX, just prefer ABQ weather).

I noticed you went to UNM. Graduate from there? I went to school in Portales, NM...good old Eastern New Mexico University

 

[Gee!]

I thought someone pulled a bone head move like me and posted a album too early. I misread the month on my time. I posted mine on the the date it was, just didnt realize my turn was 3 months away.

 

[FischerKing]

I really like Albuquerque. I spent alot of time there growing up through now. In the grand scheme, I would prefer to live there than Phoenix but when we decided to come to Az, Albuquerque was still trying to figure themselves out. I like their weather better actually (not complaining about PHX, just prefer ABQ weather).

I noticed you went to UNM. Graduate from there? I went to school in Portales, NM...good old Eastern New Mexico University

I grew up there for all intents and purposes. Lived there from 1979-1990 when I escaped via the U.S. Army. I attended UNM for 3 semesters before joining up with the military.

I like the weather there and the UNM campus and the Balloon Festival - other than that I haven't really missed it much. However, anytime I do go there I have to go to Monroe's Mexican restuarant - best around and great food - especially their stuffed sopapillas.

Finally found a place in Phoenix that serves them as well and they've got terrific New Mexican style mexican food - it's called the Albuquerque Tortilla Company and they are from Albuquerque.

Shawn

 

[AZCB34]

I grew up there for all intents and purposes. Lived there from 1979-1990 when I escaped via the U.S. Army. I attended UNM for 3 semesters before joining up with the military.

I like the weather there and the UNM campus and the Balloon Festival - other than that I haven't really missed it much. However, anytime I do go there I have to go to Monroe's Mexican restuarant - best around and great food - especially their stuffed sopapillas.

Finally found a place in Phoenix that serves them as well and they've got terrific New Mexican style mexican food - it's called the Albuquerque Tortilla Company and they are from Albuquerque.

Shawn

MMMMMMMMM sopapillas. Where is Albuquerque Tortilla Co? I would love to eat there.

In ABQ, I like Sadie's for Mexican. My Dad likes El Pinto (I think that place sucks). Where is Monroe's...would love to try out new grub while there?

 

[FischerKing]

Here is a link to Monroe's.

Albuquerque Tortilla Company is located at 16th Ave and Hatch - south side of the street. Very tiny and could be easy to miss.

Let me know if you try Monroe's - curious to see what you think of it.

Shawn

 

[KingLouieLouie]

I thought someone pulled a bone head move like me and posted a album too early. I misread the month on my time. I posted mine on the the date it was, just didnt realize my turn was 3 months away.

I don't know if it was you who deleted your review of "Licensed To Ill", but all I know is it wasnt me....I was willing to keep that review up there, but definitely repost that one whenever it is your turn......

 

[Gee!]

I don't know if it was you who deleted your review of "Licensed To Ill", but all I know is it wasnt me....I was willing to keep that review up there, but definitely repost that one whenever it is your turn......

I deleted it. I will redo it when my turn comes. I looked at the date you gave me and thought..WHOA, thats today. Didnt even occur to me to look at the month sorry.

 

[KingLouieLouie]

I deleted it. I will redo it when my turn comes. I looked at the date you gave me and thought..WHOA, thats today. Didnt even occur to me to look at the month sorry.

Oh, no need to apologize at all... "It" happens is what I always say....Your "turn" will be here before you know it.....

 

[Pariah]

I'll post mine later this afternoon. I've been thinking about running with a sort of "modern-americana" theme (Springsteen, Mellencamp, etc...), but may end up straying form that...

Anyway, I'll post my first album a little later today.

 

[KingLouieLouie]

I'll post mine later this afternoon. I've been thinking about running with a sort of "modern-americana" theme (Springsteen, Mellencamp, etc...), but may end up straying form that...

Anyway, I'll post my first album a little later today.

Thanks...really excellent choices right there.....