Banks wins LVP, lol Pwned!

[Treesquid PhD]

<H1>The NBA from LVP to MVP

By Bill Simmons
Page 2
First, the good news: We'll forget the lackluster regular season once the NBA playoffs kick off with a barrage of spectacular matchups, assuming everything breaks correctly. I don't need to sell you on the Spurs-Nuggets, Lakers-Suns or Cavs-Heat battles, but a Jazz-Rockets series works for any true basketball fan, and you don't like sports if you can't get excited for Nellie's run-and-gun Warriors battling his old Mavs team, or Toronto laying its feel-good season on the line against New Jersey and Public Enemy No. 1 (Vince Carter).
Now, the bad news: Of all the bummers inflicted on NBA fans this season (check the sidebar to the right), a flaccid MVP race received the least attention because everyone seems happy to hand Dirk Nowitzki the trophy and call it a day. Statistically, Nowitzki submitted superior seasons in 2005 and 2006, and his 2007 stats ranked behind Larry Bird's best nine seasons, Charles Barkley's best 10 seasons and Karl Malone's best 11 seasons. Nowitzki's shooting percentages were remarkable (50 percent on field goals, 90 percent on free throws, 42 percent on 3-pointers), but his relevant averages (24.6 points, 9.0 rebounds, 3.4 assists) look like a peak season from Tom Chambers. He can't affect games unless he's scoring, doesn't make his teammates better and plays decent defense at best. If you're giving the MVP to someone because of his offense, he'd better be a killer offensive player. You can't say that about the 2007 Dirk Nowitzki.
A FORGETTABLE YEAR
The lowlights of the 2006-07 season:
• The single most memorable moment was a half-assed brawl.
• Of the league's most important under-25 stars, No. 1 (LeBron) mailed in the first three months more blatantly than David Duchovny mailed in the last "X-Files" season; No. 2 (Wade) separated a shoulder and missed half the season; No. 3 (Anthony) escalated the aforementioned brawl by throwing a sucker slap, then backpedaling 70 feet and earning a 15-game suspension; and No. 4 (Arenas) injured his knee and will miss the playoffs.
• So many front offices mangled their rosters beyond repair that the trade deadline passed without a major deal& even though four-fifths of the league desperately needed to shake things up. This was like watching 25 drivers repeatedly circle the same gas station, with all of them noticing the same yellow light in their cars, only nobody ever actually pulled in to get gas.
• Seven teams openly tanked the last four-five weeks of the season for lottery position, with another five joining them these past few weeks and pretty much destroying fantasy basketball as we knew it& not to mention all the poor saps who were shelling out big bucks for season tickets.
• A much-anticipated foray into Vegas for All-Star Weekend became a racial powder keg and the latest chance for non-NBA fans to degrade the league (in this case, unfairly).
• Two of the league's marquee superstars were trapped on terrible teams (Iverson and Garnett); one made it to a pseudo-contender, the other remains stuck in lottery hell.
• The "Oden versus Durant?" debate generated more interest than every NBA subplot combined.

The argument for the big German is simple: He's the most reliable crunch-time scorer in the league and the best player on a 69-win team. Of course, when the '97 Bulls won 69 games, you could have described Michael Jordan the exact same way ... and he finished second to Malone. Same for Jerry West on the '72 Lakers when they won 69 games (he finished second to Kareem). Then again, maybe we should scrap the historical comparisons after Steve Nash's back-to-back trophies transformed the award into what it is now: a popularity contest. It's a 900-number and Ryan Seacrest away from becoming a low-key version of "American Idol." And since people want the big German to win the award this year, he's going to win it.
In the irony of ironies, Nash played his greatest season at a time when everyone took him for granted and paid more attention to Nowitzki. This makes no sense to me, but few things about the NBA make sense these days. Regardless, neither of them is getting my vote. But before I reveal my 2007 pick on Wednesday morning, here's a look at some of the players who didn't make the cut (and where they finished in the top 450).
In reverse order ...
450. Marcus Banks
To win my LVP (Least Valuable Player) Award, you need to negatively affect a team in more ways than just "my eight-figure salary is killing their cap space" or "I drove into a parked car while masturbating to a porn movie."
You need to realize zero percent of your team's expectations, even though it traded a No. 1 pick (and a chance to take Rajon Rondo or Marcus Williams) to create enough cap space for a bench player who could save its best player's legs during the season. You need to be such a ginormous bust that your coach gave up on you within three weeks. You need to be untradable even though you have a reasonable salary ($21 million, five years). You need to become the albatross for a potential championship team that's single-handedly lowering its ceiling from an "A-plus" to an "A-minus." In other words, you need to be Marcus Banks.

OUCH!

 

[Cheesebeef]

ouch - sadly, he's dead on the money.

it's pretty amazing when reading that list of guys 30 and over who's careers just fell off the face of the earth - it really just proves how incredible Nash's back to back to back MVP-type seasons have been after people thought he was probably winding down his career (of which I was definitely one of!).

I still chuckle when I think about the ridiculous stink I made the day we signed Nash. I've never been more happy to be wrong about something.

 

[Treesquid PhD]

ouch - sadly, he's dead on the money.

it's pretty amazing when reading that list of guys 30 and over who's careers just fell off the face of the earth - it really just proves how incredible Nash's back to back to back MVP-type seasons have been after people thought he was probably winding down his career (of which I was definitely one of!).

I still chuckle when I think about the ridiculous stink I made the day we signed him. I've never been more happy to be wrong about something.

I was way wrong about him, I felt he would at least give me occasional heart burn with his 90's isolation shoot first style, I thought he would be my much needed whipping boy, but would have enough success to get the shoot first PG fans to rave about him much to my nauseum.

I was way off, he has caused me hardly any angst in the broad scheme of things.

 

[Griffin]

I do not expect to see Banks in a Suns uniform next season. Don't ask me how, but the Suns will find a way to move him, and I only hope it doesn't cost us in the way of first round draft picks. We've traded our share of "untradeable" players, and Banks actually might still hold some value. (In fact, as long as Isiah Thomas is still a GM in this league, no player is untradeable.) The only way Banks will still be here in November is if he gets a chance in a playoff game or two and plays really well, but barring an injury he should not get off the bench.

 

[Mainstreet]

Moving Banks is going to be hard unless it's part of a packaged deal probably with a first round pick included. As KT has a sizeable contract does anyone think he has any trade value as an expiring contract next season or will the Suns be looking to buy him out?

Unfortunately trading Diaw or Marion might be the easiest way out of LT purgatory. I just don't like the options right now.

 

[cly2tw]

It's not really fair to Banks that he has to perform under the shadow of the MVP.

 

[Gaddabout]

Banks had a forgettable season, but Bill Simmons has had it in for Banks since he was a Celtic. Simmons can't seem to shut up about it.

 

[TBaslim]

- this part of the article was great:

89. Jermaine O'Neal, Pau Gasol (tie)
I like both of these guys as players. But when you're making max money, and you're the best guy on your team, you can't keep saying things like "Maybe it's time for me to move on" or "Maybe we'd be better off if I played somewhere else." You signed that contract and accepted the responsibility to be the franchise player on the team. Now that same franchise is struggling -- partly because of your inadequacies, by the way -- and you want to flee the premises like it's a crime scene?


I write this every year, and I'm writing it again: Just once before I die, I want an NBA owner to hold a news conference that will unfold like this:


"Thanks to everyone for coming today. I just wanted to quickly address (unhappy superstar making max money)'s comments today. Here's my response: F--- you. I should be the one complaining, not you -- you wanted to be paid like a franchise player when you're clearly not. More than anything else, that's why we suck. Hell will freeze over before I send you to a better team. Repeat: Hell will freeze over. You're stuck here. End of press conference."

 

[scoutmasterdave]

Moving Banks is going to be hard unless it's part of a packaged deal probably with a first round pick included. As KT has a sizeable contract does anyone think he has any trade value as an expiring contract next season or will the Suns be looking to buy him out?

Unfortunately trading Diaw or Marion might be the easiest way out of LT purgatory. I just don't like the options right now.

I could easily see KT, Banks and one or two of our picks in this draft sent to a team seeking cap space next summer.

 

[Diawsome]

I think trading down with the Hawks pick would be the easiest way of getting rid of Banks' contract as the Cavs & Suns picks aren't going to be good enough to dump Banks w/o picking up a contract in return which would negate the entire purpose of using those picks to dump him.

 

[The_Matrix]

134. Jason Kapono
Once again, proving my time-tested theory that anyone can be a valuable NBA player if he has one elite skill, whether it's rebounding (Reggie Evans), shotblocking (Dikembe Mutombo), defense (Bruce Bowen), energy (Balkman), playmaking (Steve Blake), shooting (Kapono) or high-fiving guys while wearing a sportscoat (Sean Marks).

Besides Barbosa, our bench gets trashed a lot.

 

[panfolk]

I wonder, in the face of the Banks fiasco, if D'A is willing to reconsider the whole "we're not in the business of training point guards" attitude?

 

[dodie53]

trade the #4 pick and banks for gerald wallace

 

[Chaplin]

I wonder, in the face of the Banks fiasco, if D'A is willing to reconsider the whole "we're not in the business of training point guards" attitude?

The only people that trash Kurt Thomas are Suns fans.

 

[Cheesebeef]

The only people that trash Kurt Thomas are Suns fans.

am I missing something here? You're responding to a post about Marcus Banks by saying something a little unsubstantiated IMO about people bashing KT.

me confused. what the heck are you talking about Chap?

 

[Chaplin]

am I missing something here? You're responding to a post about Marcus Banks by saying something a little unsubstantiated IMO about people bashing KT.

me confused. what the heck are you talking about Chap?

My bad, I quoted the wrong damn post...

Besides Barbosa, our bench gets trashed a lot.

 

[scoutmasterdave]

I think trading down with the Hawks pick would be the easiest way of getting rid of Banks' contract as the Cavs & Suns picks aren't going to be good enough to dump Banks w/o picking up a contract in return which would negate the entire purpose of using those picks to dump him.

Yes, they'd have to pick up a contract, but it only negates the purpose if the player they get back sucks.

 

[Budden]

The only people that trash Kurt Thomas are Suns fans.

Actually, more like "the only people that trash Kurt Thomas are fans of his current team." Right now, it's the Suns. But Knicks fans used to bash him like crazy, and he was actually in better shape then (though he still couldn't quite dunk a basketball).

It's weird. I think Mike Breen, a long-time MSG Network announcer, just started a rumor a while ago that Kurt Thomas is a lock-down post defender, and somehow it just stuck. He at least provides a little muslce down low, but otherwise he's nothing near spectacular. He's also not a good rebounder. Now, I know, people are going to point to his career average being decent or whatever, but I think that's just because he's a consistent rebounder. He only guards guys down on the block, so when somebody shoots, he immediately turns around and boxes his guy out. The problem is, there are times in the game when his man or somebody around him aggressively goes after the ball coming off the rim, and he very frequently just gets out-quicked, out-muscled, out-smarted to the ball.

The one thing I will say for KT though, is that he's a streaky shooter. Normally, that's not exactly a positive thing, but I do think KT should get more time because of it. It's not like he's a SG, playing a position where up and down nights are expected from the perimeter. Battling for time against the likes of Amare, Shawn, and Doris Diaw (I'm not sure whether Doris is a girl's name or not, but know that I meant it to be a girl's name), it's not easy to regain the touch. Kurt goes through multiple game or week stretches where he can't hit a shot, but when he gets the jumper going he's quite good. I also think a sharp-shooting KT could really help this team, especially on offense (even though he's known as a defensive player, mostly.)

 

[fordronken]

Wait, why are people trashing KT? Have you watched him pull out twelve rebound games in twenty minutes? Did you watch the Suns-Spurs game, in which he was able to give Duncan single coverage and have it actually work?

 

[The Commish]

trade the #4 pick and banks for gerald wallace

Worst. Idea. Ever.

Sorry, but if we get the #4 pick it will set this team up for the next several years. You don't just unload that pick to get rid of a bad but not cap-debilitating contract.

 

[Bufalay]

hey commish is that a pic of scottie pippen in a lakers jersey?

 

[The Commish]

hey commish is that a pic of scottie pippen in a lakers jersey?

Haha thank God no. Its Bin Ladin in a Kobe jersey. Though I never realized that Pippen does look a lot like Osama...perhaps being second fiddle to MJ all those years did a number on him on his psyche.

 

[SO91]

Actually, more like "the only people that trash Kurt Thomas are fans of his current team." Right now, it's the Suns. But Knicks fans used to bash him like crazy, and he was actually in better shape then (though he still couldn't quite dunk a basketball).

It's weird. I think Mike Breen, a long-time MSG Network announcer, just started a rumor a while ago that Kurt Thomas is a lock-down post defender, and somehow it just stuck. He at least provides a little muslce down low, but otherwise he's nothing near spectacular. He's also not a good rebounder. Now, I know, people are going to point to his career average being decent or whatever, but I think that's just because he's a consistent rebounder. He only guards guys down on the block, so when somebody shoots, he immediately turns around and boxes his guy out. The problem is, there are times in the game when his man or somebody around him aggressively goes after the ball coming off the rim, and he very frequently just gets out-quicked, out-muscled, out-smarted to the ball.

The one thing I will say for KT though, is that he's a streaky shooter. Normally, that's not exactly a positive thing, but I do think KT should get more time because of it. It's not like he's a SG, playing a position where up and down nights are expected from the perimeter. Battling for time against the likes of Amare, Shawn, and Doris Diaw (I'm not sure whether Doris is a girl's name or not, but know that I meant it to be a girl's name), it's not easy to regain the touch. Kurt goes through multiple game or week stretches where he can't hit a shot, but when he gets the jumper going he's quite good. I also think a sharp-shooting KT could really help this team, especially on offense (even though he's known as a defensive player, mostly.)

I'll take the opinion of coach Ivaroni in regards to KT over anybody else's thank you!

 

[Chaz]

Wow Marcus banks negatively affected the team than much.

Just think without Marcus Banks the Suns might have won 80 games!




Simmons is pretty funny and entertaining, he would make a great village idiot.

 

[Gaddabout]

It's weird. I think Mike Breen, a long-time MSG Network announcer, just started a rumor a while ago that Kurt Thomas is a lock-down post defender, and somehow it just stuck. He at least provides a little muslce down low, but otherwise he's nothing near spectacular. He's also not a good rebounder. Now, I know, people are going to point to his career average being decent or whatever, but I think that's just because he's a consistent rebounder. He only guards guys down on the block, so when somebody shoots, he immediately turns around and boxes his guy out. The problem is, there are times in the game when his man or somebody around him aggressively goes after the ball coming off the rim, and he very frequently just gets out-quicked, out-muscled, out-smarted to the ball.

Nobody here has ever said KT was a lock-down defender, but he does allow the Suns to go 1-on-1. He makes whomever he guards work for their points, he never buys the pump fake, and is rock solid in position and technique. No, he's not a great NBA athlete. If he were, he would be making more than the MLE. But he is what he is, which is dependable. Sorry if that is not worthy of your affection, but it's the kind of non-stats stuff a team like the Suns need more of.

KT will be critical against the Spurs. He'll get his minutes where the matchups are favorable. He makes the Suns a better, more well-rounded team.