Eagles to accept Superbowl bid

SECTION 11

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HOUSTON, TX (AP) - The SCS (Superbowl Championship Series) extended a bid to the Philadelphia Eagles to play in the Budweiser-Monster.com-Pepsi Superbowl XXXVIII at Reliant Stadium in Houston on February 1st, despite losing to the upstart Carolina Panthers 14-3 in the NFC title game.

The Superbowl selection committee decided that many factors went into extending a bid to the Eagles.

"Philadelphia, with its rich tradition, had a stronger strength of schedule during the regular season, a higher average attendance, and larger television ratings" explained John E. Bandwagon, the SCS president. "This is what we want for the Superbowl. A larger audience. Houston will welcome the throngs of Philadelphia fans who will flood the city, occupying hotel rooms, eating at local restaurants, and visiting the local Wal-Mart. Certainly more people than Carolina’s market, a mid-major NFL team, will bring."

Bandwagon also explained that Philadelphia has decades of tradition, which will help draw in extra viewers. CBS spokesman Bob Kluless explains that with the Eagles getting the bid over the Panthers, he’ll be able to charge $1.3 million for a 30-second commercial as opposed to the $1.1 million he’d otherwise charge.

"My clients at the beer companies are thrilled with the selected made-for-TV Goliath versus Goliath matchup," said Kluless. "They’re planning to make their commercials even cornier and more low-brow than ever. In fact, I hear they’re working on this new and clever ad where two guys go after this 'out-of-their-league' attractive woman at a bar, and the female, via slapstick humor, winds up making both males look like a couple of silly frat-boy buffoons by the end of the commercial. Completely original and cutting-edge. I’m looking forward to it."

"I also hear we’ll be able to charge a higher price to those guys creating the ad with 'talking' computer-generated animals! That should be fun." gushed Kluless. "And we’ll be making a bundle selling ad time to those advertisers featuring overexposed stars of the moment doing plugs for products, like Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton."

Carolina, on the other hand, is not happy with the decision.

"We won on the field, fair and square," said Panther DeShaun Foster. "Now their going to use attendance and TV market and 'tradition' to keep us home. That's a load of BS. The best two teams will not be on the field on February 1st."

Adding controversy to the situation, the SCS is meeting this spring to announce plans of a 'Market Rule'. For example, if cities like Charlotte and Indianapolis don’t increase their population base and TV ratings within the next four years, the SCS may kick them out of the NFL into a minor league system.

In fact, while New England's win over Indianapolis enabled it to receive the bid to the Superbowl, there were some doubts that Indianapolis would’ve received the bid even had they won.

"New England has the Boston market, not to mention that nearby New York City may ride their coattails," said Bandwagon. "Indianapolis is merely a mid-size city surrounded by farms, without the large fanbase of Philly. If Indianapolis is serious about remaining in the NFL, they’ll try harder to make their brand name sound 'sexier', or at least find a way to boost the area’s population and click on more TVs."
 

NFL_FAN

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You have a lot of time on your hands, don't you 11. Have you thought of helping the needy? Joining the Peace Corps or maybe becoming a Priest?
 

earthsci

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Originally posted by NFL_FAN
You have a lot of time on your hands, don't you 11. Have you thought of helping the needy? Joining the Peace Corps or maybe becoming a Priest?

He is a priest....who happens to moonlight for an Architect firm.
 

40yearfan

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Originally posted by NFL_FAN
You have a lot of time on your hands, don't you 11. Have you thought of helping the needy? Joining the Peace Corps or maybe becoming a Priest?

In one of Section 11's previous existances, he was a high priest of the Pharoh Rutn Tutn and was in charge of the harem. With Section 11's fondness for beautiful women and strong liquor, the Pharoh (after the fact) realized that he had put Sec. 11 in the wrong position and ordered him neutered. Sec. 11 escaped this horrible fate by hiding under the dress of Princess Shitz zu when the axe man came for him. He escaped, but eventually, the palace guard caught up with him and hauled him in front of Rutn Tutn. Rutn Tutn relented on his original punishment decree, but handed him a fate worse than death. He banished him to New Jersey for life.
 

RugbyMuffin

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Rutn Tutn relented on his original punishment decree, but handed him a fate worse than death. He banished him to New Jersey for life. [/B]


He is doomed.

This place is like hell after somebody took a dump on it!
:(
 

AzCards21

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Very nice analogy 11, Thank goodness we aren't under BCS rule in the NFL. This could have been our 14th SB in a row featuring the fricken Cowpukes versus the Giants. :rolleyes:

I hate the BCS.
 

vikesfan

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Great Post that is newspaper quality writing. The no playoff system is a joke. Before the BCS Notre Dame was ripped out of a national championship by the 2 polls applying 1 set of rules 1 year and another set of rules another year! That is when I stopped following college ball seriously. Until they institute a playoff system I won't be getting back into college ball - no way.

The BCS was supposed to correct that but its a big joke too. Remember Nebraska and look what happened this year. If LSU and USC played USC would have destroyed LSU. Anyway the only solution is a PLAYOFF and until they get a playoff NCAA Divison 1 college footbal is a joke and the BCS is even worse then what existed before cause it claims to have legitimacy.
 

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