Favorite Movie Monologues

[marathon_mom]

Another fave. You go girl!




That Thing You Do. Faye's Breakup with Jimmy
written by Tom Hanks

Faye: Can I say something? [everyone stops to listen and she turns to Jimmy] Jimmy, from now on, you stay away from me. I've wasted thousands and thousands of kisses on you. Kisses that I thought were special because of your lips and your smile and all of your color and life. I used to think that was the real you when you smiled, but now I know that you don't mean any of it. You just save it for all of your songs. Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight.
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[Homer Simpson]

Might as well keep the Tarantino theme going, opening scene in Reservoir Dogs (kind of a monologue, just a couple of interuptions):

Mr. Brown: 'Like A Virgin' is all about this cooze who is a regular **** machine. I'm talkin' mornin', day, afternoon, night, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****!

Mr. Blue: How many ****s is that?

Mr. White: A lot.

Mr. Brown: Then one day she meets this John Holmes moth******er and it's like, 'whoa baby'. I mean, this cat is like Charles Bronson in the Great Escape, he's diggin' tunnels. She's feeling something she ain't felt in forevuh. Pain. Pain.

Joe: Toby Chow...Chu...

Mr. Brown: It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt, her ***** should be like Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat **** her, it hurts. The pain is reminding a **** machine what it was once like to be a virgin, hence, 'Like a Virgin'.

Joe: Wong!

 

[Homer Simpson]

One of the all-time classics:

"Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it"

 

[Chaplin]

Excuse the language...

Wild Bill Hickock: Some ******* point a man's due to stop argueing with hisself and feeling twice the ******* fool he knows he is 'cause he can't be something he tries to be every ******* day without once getting to dinnertime and ****ing it up. I don't want to fight it anymore, understand me Charlie? - and I don't want you pissing in my ear about it. Can you let me go to hell the way I want to?

 

[Mulli]

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas."

"What’s a looper?"

"A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dali Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? "Gunga galunga. Gunga, gunga galunga." So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?" And he says, "Oh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me. Which is nice."