Hamburger Helper

[Rivercard]

In an effort to make a meal that my 5 year old would eat, tonight I made Hamburger Helper - Cheeseburger Macaroni. I would recommend that you never purchase this product. In fact, don't even walk near the aisle in the store where it is located. This was the most vile excuse for food that I have ever tasted. It was like eating spoiled cow dung. In fact, birdcage newspaper dipped in sour milk would taste better than this product. If they served this meal to prisoners at Guantanimo Bay we would surely be guilty of war crimes. This meal would make Hannibal Lecter go vegan. I could only eat a few bites and I still feel like Richard Gere's gerbil is doing a cheerleader routine in my stomach.

You have been warned. Stay away. Far away.

 

[Louis]

This meal would make Hannibal Lecter go vegan.

Hamburger Helper is people!!!!!!!!

I'm with you in it's vileness. In the 90s when I was entering high school, the federal government had the budget issue which resulted in my dad not getting paid for period of time. My mom was a stay at home mom and it wasn't long before finances put us in peril. It didn't help that we had just moved to Arizona from South Dakota shortly before this.

Anyway, we must've had the beef noodle hamburger help over mashed potatoes several times per week because of how inexpensive the meal is.

Now I detest the stuff. My wife loves it and every now then we'll have it. Which means I 'll have a sandwich and broth rather than prepare another meal.

 

[ozzfloyd]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkExpbnjsX8

 

[Shane]

Hamburger helper is AWESOME!

Best food invention EVER!

 

[Linderbee]

Sorry, RC, but there's nothin' wrong with Hamburger Helper. The Cheesy Ranch Burger is the house favorite. Kids gobble it up.

Maybe you just made it wrong!

We had the Cheeseburger Macaroni just a few days ago...everyone had seconds until it was gone & then some had to go w/o seconds (or thirds...and I have to make 2 boxes every time).

Don't make it too terribly often, but it's cheap, easy & fast...just like some of y'all like your women!

 

[Rivercard]

Maybe you just made it wrong!

But it was so easy a one-eyed monkey could make it. Heck, even Shane probably couldn't have screwed up this recipe.

I'm pretty sure I put the right amount of milk and stuff in there. But the cheese ended up so thick - like when you apply grout around a sink. Only I think grout would taste better. And they were skimpy with the Macaroni, so the Hamburger to Macaroni ratio was way out of balance. My delicate palette just couldn't adjust. Katie wouldn't eat it after a few bites. The cat was sniffing it like crazy, but then again he likes eating crickets and licking himself too.

Maybe I got a bad batch.

 

[Mulli]

In college, I made a box of Tuna Helper. Ate all of it in one sitting. Felt terrible. No wonder, look at salt content alone.

I don't think this counts as real food, but if your family likes it and you don't eat it everyday.

 

[Mulli]

I am thinking that a person could find a recipe on the interwebs for the same thing that was slightly better for you and tasted more gooder better.

 

[Linderbee]

I'm sure I could make one up off the top of my head, but it wouldn't be as cheap & easy.

 

[Mulli]

I'm sure I could make one up off the top of my head, but it wouldn't be as cheap & easy.

I would be interested in seeing the nutrional info on the stuff. Or the half-life.

 

[Rivercard]

look at salt content alone.

Yes, it tasted very salty! Like licking a margarita glass, only without the joy of tequila.

 

[Mulli]

The googles say that if you only eat a third of a cup, it might not be so bad for you.

 

[LoyaltyisaCurse]

Even worse than SPAM I say... I'll never forget the first time I tasted Spam and I wretched on the first bite. I then decided to put the rest in a bowl for the cat and the cat gave it three sniffs and walked away...

 

[schutd]

Cheap aint cheap. Garbage in, garbage out.

 

[D-Dogg]

Or the half-life.

Truth FTW!

 

[D-Dogg]

Cheap aint cheap. Garbage in, garbage out.

Truth FTW!

 

[dreamcastrocks]

Cheap aint cheap. Garbage in, garbage out.

It's all garbage out.

Just sayin'

 

[Rivercard]

Truth FTW!

You can say that again!

 

[D-Dogg]

It's all garbage out.

Just sayin'

Technically, in the garbage in, it doesn't come out.

Here, the better term would have been: you are what you eat.

 

[dreamcastrocks]

Technically, in the garbage in, it doesn't come out.

Here, the better term would have been: you are what you eat.

Huh?

You saying that if you eat garbage it doesn't come out?

 

[Rivercard]

Huh?

You saying that if you eat garbage it doesn't come out?

Sounds like another X-Lax moment.

 

[Shane]

Even worse than SPAM I say... I'll never forget the first time I tasted Spam and I wretched on the first bite. I then decided to put the rest in a bowl for the cat and the cat gave it three sniffs and walked away...

SPAM sandwiches RULE too!

 

[Pariah]

You want to stretch your food budget with meals like hamburger helper? Get some pasta and or rice, some veggies and various spices. Make your own hamburger helper; it'll taste better and it won't be full of chemicals.

 

[D-Dogg]

Huh?

You saying that if you eat garbage it doesn't come out?

Yep, it leaves nasty remnants behind and causes all sorts of craptastic inner workings to take place. The food part comes out, but the garbage stays.

I'm definitely in the In Defense of Food camp.

 

[D-Dogg]

You want to stretch your food budget with meals like hamburger helper? Get some pasta and or rice, some veggies and various spices. Make your own hamburger helper; it'll taste better and it won't be full of chemicals.

YES. Absolutely. And yes yes on it tasting better.

You can buy something like 25 pounds of basmati rice at costco for $14 or so. That will make roughly a bajillion servings. Couple that with some frozen or fresh veggies (frozen if you are super tight budget), some olive oil, salt, pepper, maybe some cajun spice, and whatever hamburger you were going to throw into that weird little potholder-man's mesh of chemicals, HFCS and preservatives. You got yourself meals for a long, long time. Healthier, and the same cost. Hell, maybe even less.