OMG - Woody Paige is a woody
woody paige
Sloppy, but perfect in my book
By Woody Paige, Denver Post Sports Columnist
CINCINNATI - Getting ever so nearer to that elusive, exacting, enviable 19-0 record, the Broncos flogged the Cincinnati Bengals on the First Sunday.
This is all that matters: Broncos 30, Bengals 10.
Just prevail, honey child.
You want style points, bring in a synchronized swimmer. You want rampant beauty, sign Halle Berry. You want flash and tempest, watch Britney Spears kiss Madonna. You want precision, hire a diamond cutter or the Ohio State marching band.
You want a winner, start Jake Plummer. He is undefeated as the Broncos' quarterback.
There still may be the odd doubting Thomas, skeptical Dave, unconvinced Bernie or cynical Kiz, but the vast majority of us common folk understand what the game is about - the bottom line, the end result, the final score.
Even God was occasionally flawed in what He did. Consider the giraffe, broccoli and the city of Oakland.
Before anyone offers a pessimistic assessment of Plummer's performance, it is well to be aware that in his opening game as the Broncos' No. 1 quarterback, Plummer improved on the QB rating of his predecessor's last appearance by almost 50 percent.
Ahem.
The Other Guy's final start was against the Raiders in Game 15 of the 2002 season. He was unceremoniously removed after compiling a rating of 14.7. Plummer finished with a 21.7 rating Sunday.
Although such statistics weren't readily available, Sunday's game may have been the only one in NFL history in which a team's point total (30) in victory was higher than the quarterback's rating.
But, said Plummer, "I promise I will get better," although he did not cross his heart and hope to die. He will get better, though. He cannot get worse. (And if he does not get better, Broncos fanatics will make him wish he would die.)
"Well, we got the win," continued Plummer, who agreed with my belief that "That's all that really matters. ... We got 30 points, and we beat them by 20, and we could have played better. So that's encouraging ... I've never won a game (in the NFL) by 20 points."
There were few discouraging words from coach Mike Shanahan about Plummer's debut. Shanahan may have been fudging.
"I thought in the first half he played extremely well. ... But you could see that he was as inconsistent as he has been in (exhibition) games. That is going to happen, because he demands so much from himself ... I like the way he competes. He enjoys being out there. You could see even if he makes a mistake, he is ready to go."
Shanahan didn't seem so enthusiastic on the sideline after Plummer threw the second of three interceptions - on a deep go route toward Ashley Lelie at the Cincinnati 3. The coach chewed on the quarterback, then spit him away.
Shanahan "knows the offense better than anyone alive, and he was telling (or yelling at) me that I stayed on Ashley too long and didn't see the lurker (cornerback Tory James)," Plummer said. "I should have pulled off Ashley and looked for my up receivers."
Nevertheless, Plummer was trying to make something happen down the field.
Later, after the third interception, Shanahan stood away from the team with Plummer and calmly discussed the quarterback's mistake.
"If there was any play I could have back, it would have been that throw to Shannon (Sharpe)," Plummer said. "I left it behind him."
To be sure, Plummer played awfully on an individual basis, but football is not a solo activity, such as golf, archery, ice fishing, column writing and bomb defusing.
But he handed off well (no fumbled exchanges) to Clinton Portis, who had 120 yards rushing and two touchdowns. He passed well to Portis, who had five receptions for 39 yards. The Broncos' defense played well with two interceptions, one for a touchdown, and two fumble recoveries and an unyielding grip on the legendary Corey Dillon (14 carries for 34 yards). And the special teams played exceptionally well.
Would you rather have Cincinnati starter Jon Kitna? I didn't think so.
How about Jeff Blake? The heat-stroked denizens of Phoenix may have been laughing early Sunday until the Arizona Cardinals were blown out by the vile Detroit Lions.
Naturally, I am biased. I am Jake's Elwood in the Orange-and-Blues brothers.
Plummer did have numbers that were more horrifying than "666" - 12-of-25 for 115 yards, the three interceptions and zero touchdowns. But if he can look so Quasimodo and the Broncos score 30 points, imagine what it will be like when he looks so Affleck, which he will.
"We've got to go back to work and try to improve on things," Plummer said.
Such as his accuracy. Plummer was off badly on half a dozen passes and hung onto the ball too long twice when Sharpe was free. But Plummer is not the league's most proficient pocket passer, and the Broncos' coaches did not put him outside often enough - because of the Bengals' defensive scheme. If teams are going to nickel- and-dime with their secondary, Portis will run for 200.
When the matter was unresolved in the first half, the Broncos had two touchdowns and two field goals in six possessions. The other two concluded prematurely on a punt after a poor Plummer pass and a tipped pass that was intercepted.
Plummer and the rest of the Broncos' offense looked like Ohio River rats in the second half.
But the Bengals, wearing black pants for the first time ever, looked like Halloween Kandy Korn. And they're a bunch of candy lasses.
"The Denver Broncos outplayed us," said Cincinnati coach Marvin Lewis, who almost made it to halftime before a fan yelled out "Where's your defense, Lewis, you bum?" and watched as the others at Paul Brown Stadium streamed out in the second half.
Lewis then uttered a quote Bartlett and Berra would love: "The history of this team is history."
The Broncos' history is ahead of them this season - ? - but I admit that Plummer must improve dramatically by Game 2. A rating of 50.7 and 40 points will suffice in San Diego on Sunday.
Jake may have been imperfect on Sunday, but he's perfect with the Broncos. They can't finish 19-0 without starting 1-0.
