http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/michael_silver/08/17/open.mike/index.html
When Kurt Warner utters the words "Pimp my ride," do you:
a) Break out laughing
b) Search for hidden cameras
c) Take a boxy Ford van and turn it into a tricked-out vehicle that will seat the Arizona Cardinals quarterback's family of nine, complete with rims, tinted windows and iPod ports?
The answer, when you are the folks at West Coast Customs -- the company featured in the brilliantly named MTV show featuring some of the world's most accessorized automobiles -- is definitely "c" and probably all of the above.
That's what happens when the guy with the ride in question is a deeply religious Christian who, when he's not at work, seldom goes anywhere without his ever-growing family.
Which is how Warner ended up with "The Blueberry," and how it came to pass that last Saturday night, a few hours after the two-time MVP's pinpoint performance in Arizona's 21-13 preseason victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers at sparkling new Cardinals Stadium, he would choose those same, magic words -- "Pimp my ride" -- while proudly displaying a driving machine that could eat Arnold Schwarzenegger's Hummer for breakfast.
"Check out this TV that pops down," Warner was telling me in the driveway of his Paradise Valley home, a bountiful abode formerly owned by ex-MLB All-Star Roberto Alomar, as darkness overtook the desert sky.
"And this sound system is really ... out of sight."
OK, he didn't really say "out of sight." But you have to admit, it sounds pretty plausible from a guy who has about as much chance of ending up at hipster Scottsdale club like the Pussycat Lounge (as his then-unsigned backup, Matt Leinart, would conspicuously do that very night) as Paris Hilton does of spending a Saturday night in church.
"When I told Kurt I was pregnant with twins," Warner's wife, Brenda, said, "his first reaction was, 'How are we going to get a vehicle that fits the whole family?
' Not, 'Congratulations,' or 'How do you feel, honey?'
It was all about the ride."
The Warners' ride has been as improbable as any in the history of pro football, a statement I can make with more authority than most.
As the co-author of Kurt's 2000 book, All Things Possible, I got to know this supermarket stock boy turned Super Bowl hero exceptionally well.
He truly is one of the nicest people I've ever met -- this is a man who, according to his wife, is unwilling to recline in his airplane seat because he doesn't want to deprive the passenger behind him of precious space -- yet he is staunchly principled and fiercely competitive.
And right now, at 35, he is in an incredibly good space, largely because he believes he and the Cardinals are on the verge of something fantastic.
I was all over the Cardinals last year, boldly picking them to win the NFC West before the season began.
They went 5-11.
I partly attribute my foolishness to a misplaced faith in rookie halfback J.J. Arrington, his collegiate success for the greatest school on earth notwithstanding.
It sure wasn't the quarterback's fault. Essentially without a running game, Warner quietly revitalized a career that was once presumed to be irrevocably short-circuited following the inglorious end to his reign as the Rams' starter.
Unless you're a fantasy junkie -- and as far as I know there are at least a few dozen of us who still aren't -- you might not realize that in 2005 Warner directed the league's No. 1 passing attack while throwing for 300 or more yards in five of 10 starts.
For what it's worth, he still ranks second all-time in NFL passer rating (behind Steve Young) and first in completion percentage.
And he has the weapons to have another fantastic year. Here's what the 2006 Cardinals have to offer on offense:
• The NFL's top receiving tandem in Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald. I'm especially beholden to Boldin, a Hines Ward clone who, like the Steelers' awesome All-Pro, was downgraded in the draft because his measurables weren't thrilling, makes tough catches all over the field and takes great delight in knocking the snot out of opposing defenders, often reminding them that he's "a grown-ass man" in the process. Though "Q" doesn't have much of a Q-rating, many of the people who understand the game best believe he's as good as anyone.
Says Steve Keim, the Cardinals' shrewd college scouting director: "I told a personnel guy for another team, 'We've found our Ray Lewis -- and he's on offense.' That's how physical and emotionally charged this guy is."
• A pair of passing-down receivers, former No. 1 pick Bryant Johnson and ex-Colts mighty-mite Troy Walters, who are capable of filling those Az-Zahir Hakim/Ricky Proehl slots that Warner used so well in St. Louis.
• An intriguing rookie tight end, third-round pick Leonard Pope, who is 6-foot-8, 265 pounds and can move.
• A much-improved offensive line, simply by virtue of the hiring of ex-Vikings line coach Steve Loney to replace Everert Lindsay, a former Cardinals backup whose sudden transition to the coaching ranks did not leave his former peers especially impressed with his ability to prepare them for games.
• Oh, yeah, Edgerrin James, one of the league's best halfbacks, and probably the most versatile. When Warner feels the pressure, do you think it might be convenient to have the ultra-smooth EJ as an outlet?
So yeah, I'm even more psyched this year about the Cardinals' chances, and Warner feels similarly. The only thing that gets him more excited is -- kids, cover your ears -- Brenda, as evidenced by the friendly wager he made with third-year receiver Fitzgerald last Friday as the Cardinals finished up their final training-camp practice in Flagstaff before heading home for the opening preseason game.
"It gets lonely up there, and Larry and I had a bet to see who would, uh, be satisfied first," Warner said. "The great thing is that I live a lot closer to Flagstaff than he does, and those couple of hours in the car just breezed on by. I called him on Friday and said, 'Hey -- 12:45.' He was like, 'What do you mean? I wasn't even home yet. How? You've got kids!" I said, 'We had babysitters, and we've got a big house.' He said, 'That's just wrong."
It's also wrong that Brenda has become one of the NFL's most convenient punching bags, inspiring snide comments for everything from her strong opinions to her trademark appearance. Then again, if you haven't seen Mrs. Warner lately, you might be in for somewhat of a shock.
Gone is the spiked, grayish hair and sometimes garish attire. She still sits down low for home games, but now she does so with long, blonde locks, courtesy of her close friend and hairdresser, fellow Iowa native Amy Thomas. ("I tried to give Kurt a Mohawk-type look," Amy says, laughing, "but he won't bunch it up in the middle the way I want him to.")
Though twin daughters Sierra and Sienna are less than a year old, Brenda is in fantastic shape, thanks to an intensive workout regimen that includes climbing on Camelback Mountain in Phoenix. The overall result is that Brenda, who always had a pretty face, is looking sort of... um... how shall I say this without getting dirty looks from my wife, her husband, her kids, my kids?.... well, hot.
Does that last sentence surprise you?
If so, you might also drop your jaw at the hip-hop on Brenda's iPod (OK, it's Nelly and the Black Eyed Peas, but still ) or the fact that the Warners recently hung out in Vegas with their recording-superstar friends (OK, it was Garth Brooks and Tricia Yearwood, but still) or the bottle of Smirnoff Ice Kurt was drinking before we chowed Brenda's enchilada casserole.
A couple of hours later Kurt was outside, proudly showing off his massive ride and its six-figure makeover, when he settled on a word he felt would do the Blueberry justice.
"Pretty nice, huh?" he said proudly. "I'm sweet."
I looked at him blankly. Brenda looked at me and rolled her eyes.
"Uh, Kurt," she said, "I don't think you're using that word the right way."
Undaunted, the quarterback kept trying.
"I'm phat," he said. "I'm 'The Bomb."
Just keep throwing them, K-Money, and it's all good.
When Kurt Warner utters the words "Pimp my ride," do you:
a) Break out laughing
b) Search for hidden cameras
c) Take a boxy Ford van and turn it into a tricked-out vehicle that will seat the Arizona Cardinals quarterback's family of nine, complete with rims, tinted windows and iPod ports?
The answer, when you are the folks at West Coast Customs -- the company featured in the brilliantly named MTV show featuring some of the world's most accessorized automobiles -- is definitely "c" and probably all of the above.
That's what happens when the guy with the ride in question is a deeply religious Christian who, when he's not at work, seldom goes anywhere without his ever-growing family.
Which is how Warner ended up with "The Blueberry," and how it came to pass that last Saturday night, a few hours after the two-time MVP's pinpoint performance in Arizona's 21-13 preseason victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers at sparkling new Cardinals Stadium, he would choose those same, magic words -- "Pimp my ride" -- while proudly displaying a driving machine that could eat Arnold Schwarzenegger's Hummer for breakfast.
"Check out this TV that pops down," Warner was telling me in the driveway of his Paradise Valley home, a bountiful abode formerly owned by ex-MLB All-Star Roberto Alomar, as darkness overtook the desert sky.
"And this sound system is really ... out of sight."
OK, he didn't really say "out of sight." But you have to admit, it sounds pretty plausible from a guy who has about as much chance of ending up at hipster Scottsdale club like the Pussycat Lounge (as his then-unsigned backup, Matt Leinart, would conspicuously do that very night) as Paris Hilton does of spending a Saturday night in church.
"When I told Kurt I was pregnant with twins," Warner's wife, Brenda, said, "his first reaction was, 'How are we going to get a vehicle that fits the whole family?
' Not, 'Congratulations,' or 'How do you feel, honey?'
It was all about the ride."
The Warners' ride has been as improbable as any in the history of pro football, a statement I can make with more authority than most.
As the co-author of Kurt's 2000 book, All Things Possible, I got to know this supermarket stock boy turned Super Bowl hero exceptionally well.
He truly is one of the nicest people I've ever met -- this is a man who, according to his wife, is unwilling to recline in his airplane seat because he doesn't want to deprive the passenger behind him of precious space -- yet he is staunchly principled and fiercely competitive.
And right now, at 35, he is in an incredibly good space, largely because he believes he and the Cardinals are on the verge of something fantastic.
I was all over the Cardinals last year, boldly picking them to win the NFC West before the season began.
They went 5-11.
I partly attribute my foolishness to a misplaced faith in rookie halfback J.J. Arrington, his collegiate success for the greatest school on earth notwithstanding.
It sure wasn't the quarterback's fault. Essentially without a running game, Warner quietly revitalized a career that was once presumed to be irrevocably short-circuited following the inglorious end to his reign as the Rams' starter.
Unless you're a fantasy junkie -- and as far as I know there are at least a few dozen of us who still aren't -- you might not realize that in 2005 Warner directed the league's No. 1 passing attack while throwing for 300 or more yards in five of 10 starts.
For what it's worth, he still ranks second all-time in NFL passer rating (behind Steve Young) and first in completion percentage.
And he has the weapons to have another fantastic year. Here's what the 2006 Cardinals have to offer on offense:
• The NFL's top receiving tandem in Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald. I'm especially beholden to Boldin, a Hines Ward clone who, like the Steelers' awesome All-Pro, was downgraded in the draft because his measurables weren't thrilling, makes tough catches all over the field and takes great delight in knocking the snot out of opposing defenders, often reminding them that he's "a grown-ass man" in the process. Though "Q" doesn't have much of a Q-rating, many of the people who understand the game best believe he's as good as anyone.
Says Steve Keim, the Cardinals' shrewd college scouting director: "I told a personnel guy for another team, 'We've found our Ray Lewis -- and he's on offense.' That's how physical and emotionally charged this guy is."
• A pair of passing-down receivers, former No. 1 pick Bryant Johnson and ex-Colts mighty-mite Troy Walters, who are capable of filling those Az-Zahir Hakim/Ricky Proehl slots that Warner used so well in St. Louis.
• An intriguing rookie tight end, third-round pick Leonard Pope, who is 6-foot-8, 265 pounds and can move.
• A much-improved offensive line, simply by virtue of the hiring of ex-Vikings line coach Steve Loney to replace Everert Lindsay, a former Cardinals backup whose sudden transition to the coaching ranks did not leave his former peers especially impressed with his ability to prepare them for games.
• Oh, yeah, Edgerrin James, one of the league's best halfbacks, and probably the most versatile. When Warner feels the pressure, do you think it might be convenient to have the ultra-smooth EJ as an outlet?
So yeah, I'm even more psyched this year about the Cardinals' chances, and Warner feels similarly. The only thing that gets him more excited is -- kids, cover your ears -- Brenda, as evidenced by the friendly wager he made with third-year receiver Fitzgerald last Friday as the Cardinals finished up their final training-camp practice in Flagstaff before heading home for the opening preseason game.
"It gets lonely up there, and Larry and I had a bet to see who would, uh, be satisfied first," Warner said. "The great thing is that I live a lot closer to Flagstaff than he does, and those couple of hours in the car just breezed on by. I called him on Friday and said, 'Hey -- 12:45.' He was like, 'What do you mean? I wasn't even home yet. How? You've got kids!" I said, 'We had babysitters, and we've got a big house.' He said, 'That's just wrong."
It's also wrong that Brenda has become one of the NFL's most convenient punching bags, inspiring snide comments for everything from her strong opinions to her trademark appearance. Then again, if you haven't seen Mrs. Warner lately, you might be in for somewhat of a shock.
Gone is the spiked, grayish hair and sometimes garish attire. She still sits down low for home games, but now she does so with long, blonde locks, courtesy of her close friend and hairdresser, fellow Iowa native Amy Thomas. ("I tried to give Kurt a Mohawk-type look," Amy says, laughing, "but he won't bunch it up in the middle the way I want him to.")
Though twin daughters Sierra and Sienna are less than a year old, Brenda is in fantastic shape, thanks to an intensive workout regimen that includes climbing on Camelback Mountain in Phoenix. The overall result is that Brenda, who always had a pretty face, is looking sort of... um... how shall I say this without getting dirty looks from my wife, her husband, her kids, my kids?.... well, hot.
Does that last sentence surprise you?
If so, you might also drop your jaw at the hip-hop on Brenda's iPod (OK, it's Nelly and the Black Eyed Peas, but still ) or the fact that the Warners recently hung out in Vegas with their recording-superstar friends (OK, it was Garth Brooks and Tricia Yearwood, but still) or the bottle of Smirnoff Ice Kurt was drinking before we chowed Brenda's enchilada casserole.
A couple of hours later Kurt was outside, proudly showing off his massive ride and its six-figure makeover, when he settled on a word he felt would do the Blueberry justice.
"Pretty nice, huh?" he said proudly. "I'm sweet."
I looked at him blankly. Brenda looked at me and rolled her eyes.
"Uh, Kurt," she said, "I don't think you're using that word the right way."
Undaunted, the quarterback kept trying.
"I'm phat," he said. "I'm 'The Bomb."
Just keep throwing them, K-Money, and it's all good.
