The Perfect FA Pickup!

[F-Dog]

With all of the crap we've been going over, I can't believe we haven't discussed this guy already. He's the perfect backup center*, he's cheap, and he's almost certainly willing to consider the Suns' offer**:

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Alonzo Mourning!

Think of all the advantages the Suns could offer Alonzo:

--The Suns' improved bench is going to be a big story next year, so people will continue to pay attention to him.

--Leaving Miami would give Mourning a chance to alienate a whole new set of fans. (It would be even better if he mentioned in his press conference that he "(doesn't) think the Heat can stay healthy enough to lead me to a championship".)

--Just like last year, Mourning can assauge his ego with the knowledge that he's backing up the best center in the league.

--In a Suns uniform, Mourning actually looks like a center, not a slightly-undersized power forward.

--The Suns already have another sour veteran in Jim Jackson, so the two of them could hang out together and exchange homilies.

--Alonzo can bridge his generation gap with the league's next great player, Amare Stoudemire: Alonzo would teach Amare how to preen and pout for the camera, while Amare could teach Alonzo how to block shots so that the ball stays in bounds.

--There's a branch of the Mayo Clinic nearby, in case of emergencies. I think David Boston's old trainers are still living in the Valley, too.

--Unlike the Heat, the Suns won't actually need Alonzo to take the floor until the second or third round of the playoffs, so he can drop in and out of the rotation during the season, in accordance with the team's national TV schedule. Plus, if Alonzo needs to take time off during the season to care for his kidneys, Cedric Ceballos can give him vacation tips.


Anyway, I hope Alonzo is willing to consider the Suns this year, with their unbeatable combination of great players, great weather, and hunger for a championship. In fact, if Alonzo plays for the Suns next year, I'm willing to guarantee that the team will win the title.***




* if Steven Hunter leaves.
** if the Finals loser isn't interested in his services, that is.
***Guarantee not valid in case of injuries, evil referees or bad luck.

 

[devilalum]

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[cepstrum]

as far as i know, zo has stated that he will either play with the heat or retire.

 

[George O'Brien]

as far as i know, zo has stated that he will either play with the heat or retire.

Satire alert! Satire alert! Satire alert! Satire alert!

 

[asudevil83]

zo would be an interesting pickup. if he wanted a real contract (more than 2 years with more than the LLE or vet min), then i would load it up with so many incentives that if he fell to his kidney's, his contract would be voided due to health reasons. or if he missed more than half the season with a kidney related illness his next year would not be guarranteed.

he'd be a good asset if he were healthy, but i wouldnt want him to have the ability to dick over another team like he did both NJ and Tor.

 

[fordronken]

I don't think I'd be able to watch all that flexing.

 

[Yuma]

I actually think this is halfway OK. It's better than the Mutumbo, Miles for Marion, or other wacky trades that have been proposed on this board. If we could get him for a decent price, he could help Amare with learning how to rebound and hook shots, etc. Of course, we would have to watch his minutes super closely. Save him for the playoffs!

 

[Goldfield]

I have thought of him b4. I dont know if he would come here...

He would be a good fit because he wouldnt have to play many min's. Amare would get the majority of the time at center. He would probably be used mainly in the playoffs, & get only light playing time durring the season so we can still run all year...


I would love it.

 

[JPlay]

No. The guy's body is too unreliable. We don't want to be in New Jersey's situation where we have to pay him and he can't or won't play.

 

[Goldfield]

No. The guy's body is too unreliable. We don't want to be in New Jersey's situation where we have to pay him and he can't or won't play.

Thats not the same situation. He would not have a huge contract. & wouldnt be very long either. Low risk, with a chance of high payoff.

Also we wouldnt need to play him many min's durring the season keeping him fresh for the playoffs.

 

[JPlay]

Thats not the same situation. He would not have a huge contract. & wouldnt be very long either. Low risk, with a chance of high payoff.

Also we wouldnt need to play him many min's durring the season keeping him fresh for the playoffs.

First of all, you don't know how much he will be asking for, so you can't say he'll come cheap.

Low Risk? They guy has a kidney disorder, how much higher of a risk can you have.

I would rather explore a younger, healthier alternative.

 

[Goldfield]

First of all, you don't know how much he will be asking for, so you can't say he'll come cheap.

Low Risk? They guy has a kidney disorder, how much higher of a risk can you have.

I would rather explore a younger, healthier alternative.

Yea but the Suns are over the cap ALL they can offer are what they have in exceptions & I doubt they would offer the midlevel so were talking more like 1.7 per year. Well worth a guy like Zo. (although I dont think he would take it)

Who is this "younger, healthier alternative." It isnt that easy to find quality Bigs. Not to mention the Suns are young enough. They need Veteran help.

 

[Joe Mama]

I thought this thread was supposed to be a joke. Alonzo mourning isn't going to come to the Phoenix Suns. If he doesn't retire he will stay with Miami. They are a great fit for him near his home.

Joe Mama