With all of the crap we've been going over, I can't believe we haven't discussed this guy already. He's the perfect backup center*, he's cheap, and he's almost certainly willing to consider the Suns' offer**:
Alonzo Mourning!
Think of all the advantages the Suns could offer Alonzo:
--The Suns' improved bench is going to be a big story next year, so people will continue to pay attention to him.
--Leaving Miami would give Mourning a chance to alienate a whole new set of fans. (It would be even better if he mentioned in his press conference that he "(doesn't) think the Heat can stay healthy enough to lead me to a championship".)
--Just like last year, Mourning can assauge his ego with the knowledge that he's backing up the best center in the league.
--In a Suns uniform, Mourning actually looks like a center, not a slightly-undersized power forward.
--The Suns already have another sour veteran in Jim Jackson, so the two of them could hang out together and exchange homilies.
--Alonzo can bridge his generation gap with the league's next great player, Amare Stoudemire: Alonzo would teach Amare how to preen and pout for the camera, while Amare could teach Alonzo how to block shots so that the ball stays in bounds.
--There's a branch of the Mayo Clinic nearby, in case of emergencies. I think David Boston's old trainers are still living in the Valley, too.
--Unlike the Heat, the Suns won't actually need Alonzo to take the floor until the second or third round of the playoffs, so he can drop in and out of the rotation during the season, in accordance with the team's national TV schedule. Plus, if Alonzo needs to take time off during the season to care for his kidneys, Cedric Ceballos can give him vacation tips.
Anyway, I hope Alonzo is willing to consider the Suns this year, with their unbeatable combination of great players, great weather, and hunger for a championship. In fact, if Alonzo plays for the Suns next year, I'm willing to guarantee that the team will win the title.***
* if Steven Hunter leaves.
** if the Finals loser isn't interested in his services, that is.
***Guarantee not valid in case of injuries, evil referees or bad luck.
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Alonzo Mourning!
Think of all the advantages the Suns could offer Alonzo:
--The Suns' improved bench is going to be a big story next year, so people will continue to pay attention to him.
--Leaving Miami would give Mourning a chance to alienate a whole new set of fans. (It would be even better if he mentioned in his press conference that he "(doesn't) think the Heat can stay healthy enough to lead me to a championship".)
--Just like last year, Mourning can assauge his ego with the knowledge that he's backing up the best center in the league.
--In a Suns uniform, Mourning actually looks like a center, not a slightly-undersized power forward.
--The Suns already have another sour veteran in Jim Jackson, so the two of them could hang out together and exchange homilies.
--Alonzo can bridge his generation gap with the league's next great player, Amare Stoudemire: Alonzo would teach Amare how to preen and pout for the camera, while Amare could teach Alonzo how to block shots so that the ball stays in bounds.
--There's a branch of the Mayo Clinic nearby, in case of emergencies. I think David Boston's old trainers are still living in the Valley, too.
--Unlike the Heat, the Suns won't actually need Alonzo to take the floor until the second or third round of the playoffs, so he can drop in and out of the rotation during the season, in accordance with the team's national TV schedule. Plus, if Alonzo needs to take time off during the season to care for his kidneys, Cedric Ceballos can give him vacation tips.
Anyway, I hope Alonzo is willing to consider the Suns this year, with their unbeatable combination of great players, great weather, and hunger for a championship. In fact, if Alonzo plays for the Suns next year, I'm willing to guarantee that the team will win the title.***
* if Steven Hunter leaves.
** if the Finals loser isn't interested in his services, that is.
***Guarantee not valid in case of injuries, evil referees or bad luck.