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Twas the night before pre season when all through training camp not a coach wasnt stirring as they walked up the Olivet Nazarenes ramp.
The helmets were hung by the lockeroom with care, in hopes that the players soon would be there. The players were nestled all snug in their beds. While visions of winning the Super Bowl danced in their heads.
And Bob Babich with his clipboard and Lovie with his chart, had just settled their brains on who in training camp would start. When out on the field there arose such a clatter, Lovie sprang from his desk to see what was the matter.
Away to the window Lovie flew like a flash tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. When what to Lovies wondering eyes should appear but a greyhound bus, and eight whiny players and their gear.
With a oily driver so lively and slick Lovie knew in a moment it must be Drew Rosenhaus that ---- More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name
" Now Briggs! Now Brown! " Now Greise and Johnson!" On Ogunleye! On Orton! On Harris and Grossman! To the top of the field! To the top of the stands! Now whine away! whine away! whine away man!
And then in a twinkling Lovie saw with his eye the prancing and posturing of each little guy. As Lovie drew in his head and was turning around in through the door Lance Briggs came with a bound. He was dressed all in gold from his head to his toes, and his clothes were all armani, it was quite a show.
And in his hands was a very large sack, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. "Give me more money!" " Make me the man or else I'll hold out this season Yeah that sounds like a good plan!" Lovie shook his head and said with a stare " Go ahead and holdout then I really dont care!"
Urlacher is the man thats the truth of it Briggs and we would win if our outside linebackers were pigs. Before you there was Rosie then Holdman. The Bears did fine with either you should take that as an omen.
Lance closed up his sack and left with a huff. and whispered to Drew " Sign a one year extensin I cant pay for all my stuff. Next in came Tank Johnson drunk as a skunk. With alcohol on his breath he whispered "Lovie I aint no punk!"
Beleive me I will be good just bring me back in and ignore all the lies the broken promises the spin. Lovie replied " We gave you a chance two even three. But you lied to yourself, your teamates, and me!" Now take your drunk ass and get out of my sight! Tank left in a huff and said " That aint even right!"
Lovie closed his door and jumped at the sound of Tank and his glock firing off another round. He turned back to Babich and said Lets get back to our plans! When in through the window came Tommie Harris and the Grossman. " I want Mcnabb!" Just kidding its a joke, yet Tommie Harris looked dead serious as he spoke. Rex looked pissed and cocked back his fist, aimed for Tommys face took a swing but he missed.
Kyle Orton peaked through the window and said Can I play now? and was knocked out by Rexs errant punch to his brow. Lovie screamed Out of here all of you there is work to be done! He escorted them out Tommie said " Man you are no fun!"
Greise then showed up and blocked their path. and said Start me coach do the math. All my stats are better than Rex! and once again Grossman was vexed. Grossman once again let his fist fly with his sights set firmly on Greises right eye.
And with a cannon for an arm and an off balance swing, missed Griese by a mile and hit Harris ding a ling. Lovie slammed the door tired and sick and said to Bob " Lets get this depth chart done quick!" But sure enough came another knock to the door. Which was then busted down and knocked to the floor.
In stepped Ogunleye and Brown. Both were wearing rather unpleasant frowns. Alex spoke first his teeth all a clatter and promptly got to the point of what was the matter.
" Coach why am I here I wanted to be traded away! and in response this is what Lovie had to say " Mark Anderson is better than you but you play pretty fair. Which is better play than we get from Ogunleye over there!
Ogunleye shot back "I am a prince! Give me respect! Lovie replied " We tried trading you but your contract is a wreck!
As for you Brown you only show up in New York. And you were nothing when we found you and got you to put down the fork. Brown and Ogunleye left the room quite bitter. And Bob Babich remarked "We need a full time babysitter!"
Once again outside Lovie heard a large fuss and poked his head out the window and saw the players getting back on the bus. Lovie shouted down to Drew Rosenhaus "There is something I dont get! You got a couple of clients there but what about the rest?
Drew snarled back with a grin so evil and dark " When there is controversy and cash to be made I always try to make my mark!" The bus was then off peace was restored the depth chart completed and posted on the teams board. Lovie settled in for the night and as he lie in bed, thoughts of the nights disturbance ran through his head.
With players disgruntled and agents cashing in on their fame he wondered how any team makes it to the Championship game. So with the season ahead and the drama square in his sights, Lovie whispered " Merry preseason to all and to all a good night
The helmets were hung by the lockeroom with care, in hopes that the players soon would be there. The players were nestled all snug in their beds. While visions of winning the Super Bowl danced in their heads.
And Bob Babich with his clipboard and Lovie with his chart, had just settled their brains on who in training camp would start. When out on the field there arose such a clatter, Lovie sprang from his desk to see what was the matter.
Away to the window Lovie flew like a flash tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. When what to Lovies wondering eyes should appear but a greyhound bus, and eight whiny players and their gear.
With a oily driver so lively and slick Lovie knew in a moment it must be Drew Rosenhaus that ---- More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name
" Now Briggs! Now Brown! " Now Greise and Johnson!" On Ogunleye! On Orton! On Harris and Grossman! To the top of the field! To the top of the stands! Now whine away! whine away! whine away man!
And then in a twinkling Lovie saw with his eye the prancing and posturing of each little guy. As Lovie drew in his head and was turning around in through the door Lance Briggs came with a bound. He was dressed all in gold from his head to his toes, and his clothes were all armani, it was quite a show.
And in his hands was a very large sack, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. "Give me more money!" " Make me the man or else I'll hold out this season Yeah that sounds like a good plan!" Lovie shook his head and said with a stare " Go ahead and holdout then I really dont care!"
Urlacher is the man thats the truth of it Briggs and we would win if our outside linebackers were pigs. Before you there was Rosie then Holdman. The Bears did fine with either you should take that as an omen.
Lance closed up his sack and left with a huff. and whispered to Drew " Sign a one year extensin I cant pay for all my stuff. Next in came Tank Johnson drunk as a skunk. With alcohol on his breath he whispered "Lovie I aint no punk!"
Beleive me I will be good just bring me back in and ignore all the lies the broken promises the spin. Lovie replied " We gave you a chance two even three. But you lied to yourself, your teamates, and me!" Now take your drunk ass and get out of my sight! Tank left in a huff and said " That aint even right!"
Lovie closed his door and jumped at the sound of Tank and his glock firing off another round. He turned back to Babich and said Lets get back to our plans! When in through the window came Tommie Harris and the Grossman. " I want Mcnabb!" Just kidding its a joke, yet Tommie Harris looked dead serious as he spoke. Rex looked pissed and cocked back his fist, aimed for Tommys face took a swing but he missed.
Kyle Orton peaked through the window and said Can I play now? and was knocked out by Rexs errant punch to his brow. Lovie screamed Out of here all of you there is work to be done! He escorted them out Tommie said " Man you are no fun!"
Greise then showed up and blocked their path. and said Start me coach do the math. All my stats are better than Rex! and once again Grossman was vexed. Grossman once again let his fist fly with his sights set firmly on Greises right eye.
And with a cannon for an arm and an off balance swing, missed Griese by a mile and hit Harris ding a ling. Lovie slammed the door tired and sick and said to Bob " Lets get this depth chart done quick!" But sure enough came another knock to the door. Which was then busted down and knocked to the floor.
In stepped Ogunleye and Brown. Both were wearing rather unpleasant frowns. Alex spoke first his teeth all a clatter and promptly got to the point of what was the matter.
" Coach why am I here I wanted to be traded away! and in response this is what Lovie had to say " Mark Anderson is better than you but you play pretty fair. Which is better play than we get from Ogunleye over there!
Ogunleye shot back "I am a prince! Give me respect! Lovie replied " We tried trading you but your contract is a wreck!
As for you Brown you only show up in New York. And you were nothing when we found you and got you to put down the fork. Brown and Ogunleye left the room quite bitter. And Bob Babich remarked "We need a full time babysitter!"
Once again outside Lovie heard a large fuss and poked his head out the window and saw the players getting back on the bus. Lovie shouted down to Drew Rosenhaus "There is something I dont get! You got a couple of clients there but what about the rest?
Drew snarled back with a grin so evil and dark " When there is controversy and cash to be made I always try to make my mark!" The bus was then off peace was restored the depth chart completed and posted on the teams board. Lovie settled in for the night and as he lie in bed, thoughts of the nights disturbance ran through his head.
With players disgruntled and agents cashing in on their fame he wondered how any team makes it to the Championship game. So with the season ahead and the drama square in his sights, Lovie whispered " Merry preseason to all and to all a good night
