Mitch
Crawled Through 5 FB Fields
The Arizona Cardinals are quickly becoming "America's Team." Not only have they burst onto the scene as the Cinderella darlings of the playoffs the past two seasons, they boast a roster that includes such presidential names as Adams, Hayes, Johnson, Wilson and Washington. They even have the "F" covered in JFK...as in Fitzgerald.
As draft boards are being set up across the USA a mere 12 days before this year's NFL Draft...the Cardinals have a golden opportunity to feather their nest with players that would bring added historical significance to a team that is making a historical run toward its first Lombardi Trophy.
There is a DaVinci Code aspect to the Cardinals' surreptitious methods of acquiring the right players who would ultimately swing American and global karma to their side. As we shine the black light on the Cardinals' master plan, some startling revelations can be made...and this year it appears that yes we can finally crack the code.
The Presidential Mock:
1. Kyle Wilson, CB, Boise St. The Cardinals will prove that TWO Wilsons are better than one. This Wilson has already shown an uncanny knack for winning games at the University of Phoenix Stadium as his upstart Boise St. Broncos have dazzled in the Fiesta Bowl twice in his tenure.
2. Daryl Washington, ILB, TCU. Once again, TWO Washingtons are better than one as they will buy you two Sausage and Egg McMuffins instead of one. This Washington, by George, is a speedy field general who can roam from side to side to hammer down running plays and glide from north to south to intercept passes.
3a. Sean Lee, ILB, Penn. St. If you have a Washington, don't you have to have a Lee? That's right, Washington and Lee. This Lee is a true rebel in his own right, as he has the pure instincts to take any hard-running foe out at the knees.
3b. A.J. Jefferson, CB Fresno St. This Jefferson would help the Cardinals to rewrite the Constitution of their secondary, and teamed with the two Wilsons, Rhodes, Rodgers-Cromartie and Toler would, like scud missiles, wipe out any potential for an opponents' aerial attack.
4. Jacoby Ford, WR, Clemson. This kid is the fastest Ford on the lot. Goes from 0 to 60 in 4.29 seconds.
6. Brandon Carter, G, Texas Tech. At 6-6, 326, this young man is larger than a Georgia peachtree. As Stevie Guitar Miller said, "really love your peaches wanna shake your tree." Well, this kid is no Joker. He will---he will---rock you.
7. Anthony Harding, RB, Fresno St. A special teams demon, who take no sh#% from noone.
If there is some sort of a trade to pick up another player, keep your eye on Ed "Mason" Dickson, TE, Oregon. Not a presidential pick here, per se, but...hey...what's more American than the Mason Dixon?
And if the Cardinals want to go more global and more international...seeing as the game is expanding and they might want to get a head start on becoming the "World's Team"...here is the:
International Mock:
1. Devin McCourty, CB, Rutgers. By adding this dynamic young CB, the Cardinals would now have their own Lenon and McCourty. As they say, "Strawberry Fields forever!"
2. Jason Worilds, OLB/DE, Virginia Tech. "What the Worilds needs now is love sweet love..."
3a. Vladimir Ducasse, T, UMass. This pick would appeal to Russian-French football fans and ambassadors from St. Petersburg Square to the Eiffel Tower. And he would knock Ahmad Brooks on his keister. better yet, Parys Haralson.
3b. Akwasi Owusu-Ansah, CB, Indiana (PA). This electrifying young defensive back and return specialist would be the Ansah to making the Cardinals secondary elite and their return game explosive.
4. Mike Kafka, QB, Northwestern. Further adding to the "Metamorphisis" of the Cardinals' prodigious offense.
6. Myron Rolle, S, Florida St. We already have a Rhodes...how about adding a true Rhodes scholar? If so, all Rhodes to the Super Bowl will lead through Glendale.
7. Pete "Anglo" Saxon, C, Indiana. At 6-6, 293 he's a match for William Wallace.
GO CARDINALS GO!!! C'MON YOU BIRDGANG!!!
"Stay thirsty my friends..."
As draft boards are being set up across the USA a mere 12 days before this year's NFL Draft...the Cardinals have a golden opportunity to feather their nest with players that would bring added historical significance to a team that is making a historical run toward its first Lombardi Trophy.
There is a DaVinci Code aspect to the Cardinals' surreptitious methods of acquiring the right players who would ultimately swing American and global karma to their side. As we shine the black light on the Cardinals' master plan, some startling revelations can be made...and this year it appears that yes we can finally crack the code.
The Presidential Mock:
1. Kyle Wilson, CB, Boise St. The Cardinals will prove that TWO Wilsons are better than one. This Wilson has already shown an uncanny knack for winning games at the University of Phoenix Stadium as his upstart Boise St. Broncos have dazzled in the Fiesta Bowl twice in his tenure.
2. Daryl Washington, ILB, TCU. Once again, TWO Washingtons are better than one as they will buy you two Sausage and Egg McMuffins instead of one. This Washington, by George, is a speedy field general who can roam from side to side to hammer down running plays and glide from north to south to intercept passes.
3a. Sean Lee, ILB, Penn. St. If you have a Washington, don't you have to have a Lee? That's right, Washington and Lee. This Lee is a true rebel in his own right, as he has the pure instincts to take any hard-running foe out at the knees.
3b. A.J. Jefferson, CB Fresno St. This Jefferson would help the Cardinals to rewrite the Constitution of their secondary, and teamed with the two Wilsons, Rhodes, Rodgers-Cromartie and Toler would, like scud missiles, wipe out any potential for an opponents' aerial attack.
4. Jacoby Ford, WR, Clemson. This kid is the fastest Ford on the lot. Goes from 0 to 60 in 4.29 seconds.
6. Brandon Carter, G, Texas Tech. At 6-6, 326, this young man is larger than a Georgia peachtree. As Stevie Guitar Miller said, "really love your peaches wanna shake your tree." Well, this kid is no Joker. He will---he will---rock you.
7. Anthony Harding, RB, Fresno St. A special teams demon, who take no sh#% from noone.
If there is some sort of a trade to pick up another player, keep your eye on Ed "Mason" Dickson, TE, Oregon. Not a presidential pick here, per se, but...hey...what's more American than the Mason Dixon?
And if the Cardinals want to go more global and more international...seeing as the game is expanding and they might want to get a head start on becoming the "World's Team"...here is the:
International Mock:
1. Devin McCourty, CB, Rutgers. By adding this dynamic young CB, the Cardinals would now have their own Lenon and McCourty. As they say, "Strawberry Fields forever!"
2. Jason Worilds, OLB/DE, Virginia Tech. "What the Worilds needs now is love sweet love..."
3a. Vladimir Ducasse, T, UMass. This pick would appeal to Russian-French football fans and ambassadors from St. Petersburg Square to the Eiffel Tower. And he would knock Ahmad Brooks on his keister. better yet, Parys Haralson.
3b. Akwasi Owusu-Ansah, CB, Indiana (PA). This electrifying young defensive back and return specialist would be the Ansah to making the Cardinals secondary elite and their return game explosive.
4. Mike Kafka, QB, Northwestern. Further adding to the "Metamorphisis" of the Cardinals' prodigious offense.
6. Myron Rolle, S, Florida St. We already have a Rhodes...how about adding a true Rhodes scholar? If so, all Rhodes to the Super Bowl will lead through Glendale.
7. Pete "Anglo" Saxon, C, Indiana. At 6-6, 293 he's a match for William Wallace.
GO CARDINALS GO!!! C'MON YOU BIRDGANG!!!
"Stay thirsty my friends..."
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Good stuff, Mitch!
ouch )....oh and anyone from Pitt
