Dumb things

[Skkorpion]

Okay, nothing is happening,

I grew up overseas and wasn't familiar with American things. My sergeant in my first Marine Corps duty station sent me to "Supply" to get a squeegee sharpener and I went.

The next day, still not getting it, I dutifully went to supply for a yard of flightline.

As a really young kid, I first heard another kid call another a "sonofabitch". I promptly went home and called my father a saw-bench. After he figured it out, he laughed so hard he was crying.

 

[PortlandCardFan]

Did they ever send you for a can of 'Back Blast" or a "Box of Grid Squares"??

A fellow marine had a boot go ask Top for a PRC-E8. Top pretty much made both of them do bends & thrust all day long.

What kinda things do the rookies go through in camp Skkorp??

 

[maddogkf]

I've sent new grunts to get a board stretcher out of the trailer if they cut a piece of lumber too short.

Every time, they ran to the trailer in a dither, as if they knew exactly what it was. Each one returned to ask what it looked like & how wood actually strethces

 

[Cheesebeef]

Okay, nothing is happening,

I grew up overseas and wasn't familiar with American things. My sergeant in my first Marine Corps duty station sent me to "Supply" to get a squeegee sharpener and I went.

The next day, still not getting it, I dutifully went to supply for a yard of flightline.

As a really young kid, I first heard another kid call another a "sonofabitch". I promptly went home and called my father a saw-bench. After he figured it out, he laughed so hard he was crying.

saw-bench - that's classic Skkorp.

 

[CardinalChris]

They sent my room mate to the Cavalry Unit at Ft. Hood to pick up the guard mount. Upon his day-long adventure of being sent from unit to unit in search of this, he returned and was sent on a "left handed crecent wrench" mission.

 

[Red Dawn]

In the Navy, we would send the newbies around to get a bucket of propwash (propwash is the air a propeller pushes). We would also send a guy to supply to get a B-one-R-D, more commonly known as a bird. And of course, send the newbie to get a padeye (which is the permanent aircraft tiedown point in the flight deck).

 

[bleedingred]

Looks like I missed out on a lot of fun in the military. I have been known for sending newbies out for a set of muffler bearings or a wire stretcher. So far blinker fluid has only worked on my wife. Maybe that's why we are buying yet another freakin car.

 

[perivolaki]

Boom Check

In artillery we used to open the breach and have newbies do a boom check which consisted of looking up the tube and yelling boom.

 

[KingofCards]

When we were kids my mom used to yell "You son of a bitch!" We would just smile and say, "You got that right, mom!"


Then we would run for the hills.

 

[Ryanwb]

My baseball coach said I was starting in "left out"... I was so excited I ran home and told my parents, they were not as amused with my coach

 

[Stout]

Love the military ones (save the Navy stuff--don't know it), but I've got two more...Chem-lite batteries and a box of grid squares.

 

[NavyVet]

Some of my favorites from my Navy days that worked everytime:

6 gallons of checkered paint
50 feet of fallopian tubing
2 cans of relative bearing grease
left handed monkey wrenches

And then there was the BT Punch. BT's were Boiler Technicians and they were more than happy to apply the "punch" when we sent a newb to the Engine Room for one.

A traditional one is the Mail Buoy watch...we used to have a newb stand at the foc'sle (front end of ship) and gave him a grappling hook and explained that our mail had been attached to a buoy set in the middle of the Mediterranean, and his job was to find it and grab the mailbag with the hook and if he missed it he was subject to court martial...we had them in tears.

 

[Assface]

Some of my favorites from my Navy days that worked everytime:

50 feet of fallopian tubing

When I was a service tech for the phone company we would tell any new supply people we got to order striped spray paint.

 

[Cheesebeef]

I really thought the Suns were going to get Kobe Bryant. Rip away Skkorp - You were right - I was wrong - fdsjofasfs;laj;flasjkl;s!

 

[Shane]

So far blinker fluid has only worked on my wife. Maybe that's why we are buying yet another freakin car.

Now thats funny. I think I will try that one on my wife

 

[Captain Matt]

Het Skkorp go ask Chief what time the 0900 meeting starts

Use that one all of the time.....

Also when we are testing engines off the fantail (blasting the jets off the back of the carrier) we usually tell the young guys that the skipper just asked for an extra 5 knots and that they need to run up to the bridge (about a mile long walk through the ship) to see if we need to put another engine up on the engine mounts.

 

[WisconsinCard]

We were the first ship in the Navy to get women aboard USS Norton Sound. (WOW I am old)
Anyway the first time we got underway with the new shipmates we sent one seamen recriut (lowest rank in the navy) to the D.C.A.' s office and when she requested permission to "blow the DCA " I'm not sure who turned the reddest him or her.

 

[40yearfan]

In construction, one of the first things you do to an new apprentice is to ask him to get sawdust rods so you could weld wood.

 

[CardinalChris]

We sent a private out for grid squares and he watched movies in his room all day then returned with a box of grid squares cut from a map..... last time we screwed with him.

 

[wembley88]

We audited a harbour authority in the north of Scotland and one year we got the new auditor to count the number of sheep in a nearby field (c.150). They had nothing to do with our client and it was priceless watching him wandering round the hillside with a pen and notepad.

 

[CaptTurbo]

Id send young privates to go get our humvees A-S-H recepticle, box of grid squares, elbow grease, and would have one private shack a tree so we could see where we were at on the map.

 

[CaptTurbo]

We sent a private out for grid squares and he watched movies in his room all day then returned with a box of grid squares cut from a map..... last time we screwed with him.

LMAO!!!!

 

[Stout]

We sent a private out for grid squares and he watched movies in his room all day then returned with a box of grid squares cut from a map..... last time we screwed with him.

That's the kind of soldier I want in my squad, bro! That's balls and initiative wrapped into one!

On a side note, it was always important, to me, that a leader knew when to delegate (the grid squares reminded me of this). When I was a specialist I became a squad leader, and we were on this land nav night course (the idiots made the points about an inch by an inch, and almost impossible to find). Well, I was all right with a map, but Private Ruiz was a whiz...I handed him the map and compass, and told him he was in charge. He was shocked, but he got us 3 out of 5 points...2 more than anyone else.