It’s here—Why Your Team Sucks (Arizona Cardinals edition)

[kerouac9]

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Arizona Cardinals | Defector

Some people are fans of the Arizona Cardinals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Arizona Cardinals. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Arizona Cardinals. Your 2022 record: 4-13. Four years ago, this...

defector.com

Drew Magary the best season previews in the game.

 

[kerouac9]

Also, some NSFW language here.

 

[CardsFan88]

Been thinking about this for awhile lol

 

[Crimson Warrior]

OMG that is hilarious! Thanks K9!!

 

[kerouac9]

Our coordinators look less like a coaching staff and more like some douchebags at the Twin Peaks in Scottsdale being reprimanded by the manager for getting handsy with their waitress again.

Dead.

 

[Cardiac]

Hilarious and depressing.

 

[BullheadCardFan]

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Arizona Cardinals | Defector

Some people are fans of the Arizona Cardinals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Arizona Cardinals. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Arizona Cardinals. Your 2022 record: 4-13. Four years ago, this...

defector.com

Drew Magary the best season previews in the game.

That was a good read

Thanks

And so true

Sadly

 

[phillycard]

"Our coordinators look less like a coaching staff and more like some douchebags at the Twin Peaks in Scottsdale being reprimanded by the manager for getting handsy with their waitress again."

 

[MadCardDisease]

I usually like these but I felt this wasn't their best effort.

 

[schutd]

Its the moooost wonderful time of the yeeeeeeeaaarrrrr!!!!

 

[schutd]

I usually like these but I felt this wasn't their best effort.

Hes saving his jokes for teams that need them. All you have to do is provide a recap for our year and its a giant freaking worldwide ROTFLMAFO.

 

[gmabel830]

Haven't read it yet, but I'm thinking the author didn't have to stretch much to come up with topics for the article!

 

[Osbern61]

Yes, low hanging fruit.

 

[MadCardDisease]

I guess it's not as funny when your team actually does suck.

 

[gmabel830]

“He also got rid of WR Chosen Anderson, C Rodney Hudson, former first round LB Isaiah Wilson, and CB Byron Murphy. J.J. Watt retired.”

Am I just dense right now — who the hell is that guy?!?! (He does every team every year I believe, so if it’s a mistake I’ll forgive it given the mastery of this article).

Edit: there’s an edit in the article referencing that they made a mistake including Zaven Collins in the article, so I’m guessing this is related to that.

 

[football karma]

Deadspin Magary was better

feel like he has lost his fastball.

 

[Sparky16]

I have had low expectations before - but the only thing i want is a 1st overall pick and #2 overall. The HOU & AZ need to suck period. I only want to see potential in some young players, i want some team to fall in love with Kyler (Vikings?) and actually trade something for him. The best day in the next year will be in April during the draft. as far the the NFL season goes, i am all in on fantasy and will have zero Cards on my roster for the 1st time ever.

 

[PACardsFan]

I have had low expectations before - but the only thing i want is a 1st overall pick and #2 overall. The HOU & AZ need to suck period. I only want to see potential in some young players, i want some team to fall in love with Kyler (Vikings?) and actually trade something for him. The best day in the next year will be in April during the draft. as far the the NFL season goes, i am all in on fantasy and will have zero Cards on my roster for the 1st time ever.

Could not disagree more. Show me a team that’s being taught winning behaviors like this team is being taught, and I’ll show you a team that will at least be very entertaining. We may not have the talent to win just yet, but this team will play smart & hard. And after watching the NFL for 60 years, that’s half the battle. My excitement for an NFL season have only been this high a handful of times during that stretch….mid 60’s with players like Sonny Randle, Bobby Joe Conrad, Charley Johnson, Jackie Smith, Larry Wilson, Jim Bakken…..The Coryell years with Jim Hart, the ENTIRE OL, Mel Gray, Terry Metcalf, Roger Wehrli…..The Whiz years going to the only SB in franchise history, and the BA years. I’m not sold that Michael won’t screw things up, but we currently have a nice future ahead with MOJG.

 

[BulldogCard]

Maybe this new Cards regime surprises, wins 1 for MB and company. Budda Baker, Murray are leaders like JG. Clayton Tune holds it down until KM1 returns. I like colt but I'm hoping Tune runs away with it.

 

[BirdGangThing]

I have had low expectations before - but the only thing i want is a 1st overall pick and #2 overall

That's all huh? Team getting both the 1st and 2nd picks of the draft. It's only ever happened once before (1992 Colts), I wouldn't get my "expectations" up

 

[PACardsFan]

That's all huh? Team getting both the 1st and 2nd picks of the draft. It's only ever happened once before (1992 Colts), I wouldn't get my "expectations" up

I believe the Redskins had 1 & 3 or maybe it was 2 & 3. They took LB Arrington from Penn State & a really solid OT.

 

[mjb21aztd]

I guess it's not as funny when your team actually does suck.

Ahhhh the life of lions cards jets browns fans

Sad when the draft is your teams sbowl
..... lol

Least i made my cards ps5 franchise a sbowl winner.... lol