I've been hearing a lot about Tim Hightower

[D-Dogg]

He saved twelve kittens from certain death by picking up a tree during a California wildfire and holding it above his head while fires ravaged his body. All kittens were unscathed and the fire pled "no mas" when Hightower glowered in its general direction.

 

[D-Dogg]

Tim Hightower once peed on Anquan Boldin's electric fence and Edgerrin James received the shock at a strip club. Hightower felt...relieved.

 

[D-Dogg]

Tim Hightower photographed Bigfoot but the camera was destroyed when Bigfoot got in his grill and Tim dropped him with a lowered shoulder. Also destroyed? A huge chunk of Northern Arizona real estate now called the Grand Canyon.

 

[Shzm13]

Tim Hightower made Chuck Norris cry.


















Twice.

 

[Shzm13]

Tim Howard doesn't teabag you after he runs you over.. He potato-sacks you.

 

[D-Dogg]

Tim Hightower uses Chuck Norris' tears as eyedrops when his vision is so blurry he can't read the roadsigns on Pluto.

 

[Ryanwb]

This doesn't have power if you force it

 

[Shzm13]

Buzzkill ftl...



Tim Hightower can see in the dark.




...With his eyes closed

 

[vince56]

Tim Hightower already has ten 1200 yard seasons & a rushing title in the NFL. He then built a time machine fueled by Anquan's blood to come back to 2007 & teach himself how to do it.

 

[vince56]

Tim Hightower was one of the few survivors of the Hindenburg, Titanic and "New Coke" disasters.

 

[vince56]

Tim Hightower saved the council and prevented the Reapers from entering through the Citadel. +50 Paragon

 

[vince56]

When Hillary's phone rings at 3 am, it's Tim Hightower. He's just calling to let her know something has happening in the world, and he's taken care of it.

 

[vince56]

Tim Hightower saw the unicorn in the director's cut, but he'll never be a replicant.

 

[vince56]

When Chuck Norris saves the Earth, Tim Hightower is in his head, controlling him like a Voltron.

 

[vince56]

Tim Hightower will coach the suns next year. He will beat the Spurs.

 

[vince56]

Tim Hightower is going to teach Matt Leinart some standards for women. No dogs, no waifs. Come on, Matt, you're a GQ millionaire!

 

[SoCal Cardfan]

Tim Hightower is no Q, and thus not worthy of this thread.

 

[D-Dogg]

Anquan Boldin met Tim Hightower and said "damn, you're a stud."

Then he punched him in the face.

The black eye disappeared in an hour.

 

[D-Dogg]

Anquan Boldin checks under his bed for Tim Hightower before he goes to sleep.









When he see's he's there, he knows he can sleep in peace that night.

 

[D-Dogg]

Tim Hightower was once Anquan Boldin's personal bodyguard until Tim beat up Anquan's shadow for mouthing off.

 

[D-Dogg]

Tim Hightower and Anquan Boldin are blood brothers. By just staring into each others' eyes.

 

[CaptTurbo]

Tim Howard doesn't teabag you after he runs you over.. He potato-sacks you.

LMAO

 

[40yearfan]

Tim Hightower moved into Ahwatukee and dug a hole with his bare hands through South Mountain so he'd have a short cut to the Cards training facility.

 

[40yearfan]

Tim Hightower goes buffalo hunting without a gun. He simply tackles them, flips them and hog ties their feet together.

 

[40yearfan]

When Tim Hightower heard about all the tornadoes this past week, he went back east, grabbed two of them and tied their tails together. The rest fled in terror.