Jane Got a Gun

[Brian in Mesa]

Jane Got a Gun

Release Date: January 29, 2016 (limited)
Studio: The Weinstein Company
Director: Gavin O'Connor
MPAA Rating: R (for violence and some language)
Screenwriters: Brian Duffield, Anthony Tambakis, Joel Edgerton
Genre: Drama, Western

Starring: Natalie Portman, Joel Edgerton, Noah Emmerich, Rodrigo Santoro, Boyd Holbrook, Ewan McGregor

Plot Summary: "Jane Got a Gun" centers on Jane Hammond (Natalie Portman), who has built a new life with her husband Bill "Ham" Hammond (Noah Emmerich) after being tormented by the ultra-violent Bishop Boys outlaw gang. She finds herself in the gang’s cross-hairs once again when Ham stumbles home riddled with bullets after dueling with the Boys and their relentless mastermind Colin (Ewan McGregor). With the vengeful crew hot on Ham's trail, Jane has nowhere to turn but to her former fiancé Dan Frost (Joel Edgerton) for help in defending her family against certain destruction. Haunted by old memories, Jane’s past meets the present in a heart-stopping battle for survival.

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[Chaplin]

Looking forward to this one.

 

[Stout]

This was bad. I mean really, really bad. My buddy and I had literally nothing to do last Sunday afternoon, so we did this and dinner. They shoved just about every bad western cliche possible into this thing. Well, I guess the positive is that we turned it into a Mystery Science Theater 3000 viewing, and it made us laugh our asses off. So I guess it was entertaining, in its own accidental way LOL

I couldn't understand how this movie got to the big screen, or why in the world Portman would agree to it--until the end, where she is listed as a producer. Ah, I see, it was her baby, and her project, and I'm betting she had too much control and no one told her how awful it was turning out.

Some of the most egregious bits:

Spoiler

Jane Got a Gun. So, this is going to be a western about a chick out for vengeance, right? Or at least a woman standing tall and stepping up to defend hers and her own. Um, no. It's about a helpless woman who goes begging a man to bail her out. I mean, the movie literally took all agency out of her hands. *facepalm*

The bad guy was such a mustache twirler it was unbelievable. He literally, in an over-the-top stupid torture scene to introduce him (who in the west uses a weird garrote wire-trap setup to get info out of a trapper?) was wearing a black hat. The cheesy bad guy is wearing a black hat. OMFG, are you kidding me? Then, in a climactic scene, after a bunch of gunfire, with our main characters wondering what to do, the villain shouts "Don't think I won't burn you out of there!" Oh, gee, thank you, Mr. Idiotic Cheesy Villain man, for telling us your plan.

I mean, the list goes on, man. The fallen hero drunken cowboy coming to the rescue. A coyote howling at the moon. And I haven't even gotten into the ridiculous physical impossibilities! LOL

 

[Cardinals.Ken]

This was bad. I mean really, really bad. My buddy and I had literally nothing to do last Sunday afternoon, so we did this and dinner. They shoved just about every bad western cliche possible into this thing. Well, I guess the positive is that we turned it into a Mystery Science Theater 3000 viewing, and it made us laugh our asses off. So I guess it was entertaining, in its own accidental way LOL

I couldn't understand how this movie got to the big screen, or why in the world Portman would agree to it--until the end, where she is listed as a producer. Ah, I see, it was her baby, and her project, and I'm betting she had too much control and no one told her how awful it was turning out.

Some of the most egregious bits:

Spoiler

Jane Got a Gun. So, this is going to be a western about a chick out for vengeance, right? Or at least a woman standing tall and stepping up to defend hers and her own. Um, no. It's about a helpless woman who goes begging a man to bail her out. I mean, the movie literally took all agency out of her hands. *facepalm*

The bad guy was such a mustache twirler it was unbelievable. He literally, in an over-the-top stupid torture scene to introduce him (who in the west uses a weird garrote wire-trap setup to get info out of a trapper?) was wearing a black hat. The cheesy bad guy is wearing a black hat. OMFG, are you kidding me? Then, in a climactic scene, after a bunch of gunfire, with our main characters wondering what to do, the villain shouts "Don't think I won't burn you out of there!" Oh, gee, thank you, Mr. Idiotic Cheesy Villain man, for telling us your plan.

I mean, the list goes on, man. The fallen hero drunken cowboy coming to the rescue. A coyote howling at the moon. And I haven't even gotten into the ridiculous physical impossibilities! LOL

So, you're saying it could have used some zombies?

 

[Stout]

So, you're saying it could have used some zombies?

Nah, it already had one--Portman's character was pretty much that wooden