sly fly said:
(this is just a little smack)
I get this image of cheese and ouchie playing ball at the rec. You know, they got the headband thing going on. Throw in some elbow and knee pads to prevent the floor burns.
They get put on different teams most of the time, because neither can hit a free throw. Lots of hyperactive hacking. And, lord help everyone if there's a close call...
Cheese- "No, that ball was in the cylinder! It should count as a legal bucket."
Ouchie- C'mon, Rule 13221-b says any ball entering the airspace of said opponent shall be ruled untouchable!"
Cheese- "Liar."
Ouchie- "Stupidhead."
Cheese- "I'm telling mom!"
Thanks for spicing things up around here, guys. BTW, I call for a ban on the word "cylinder". That's just not right.
agree with the "cylinder" ban - but Sly - nothing you can imagine is as bad as ALL the Ouchie and Cheese family members on the court at the same time - no headbands or knee bads, but you better believe back braces, knee braces, elbows to the head(Dad's speciality), tripping other players(my specialty), Barreling down the lane Barkley style only to throw a short layup up (Ouchie's specialty) and well - the other brother was the most consistent of us - but now he runs in mud. We don't bitch about callsmuch - mostly because we're too lazy to do so - but you better believe if someone's on the court is gonna get injured - it's gonna be one of us. Our mom was always petrified whenever we played together because inevitably, one of us would end up in the hospital.
In fact funny Ouchie story - so when Ouchie was captain of his high school football team at Camelback, back in the eighties, he and my Dad used to go atit pretty good. My Dad had this wicked Kevin McHale-like game at 6'0 - up and unders, elbows, jumpers - you name it and Ouchie was FINALLY beating him when my Dad fell over and hurt his arm. Upon deciding he copuldn't play anymore, Ouchie went around the house proclaiming his victory and new title holder of the Shapiro house-hold. In true Larry Bird style - my Dad - an orthopedic surgeon, took the ball away from him and went back on the court and then proceeded to beat my brother's ass. He then went to the hospital and had his severly-broken arm put in a cast for eight weeks.
As far as I'm concerned - my only problems on the court really only came with referees - (kind of a surprise seeing as I'm always giving people crap for bagging on them). On my high school team, I got kicked out of two games my junior year and led the team in T's. In fact in one game played up in Bagdad, AZ - yes - BAGDAD arizona - I was so furious with a ref at the end of the game when he gave free throws on a charge that I called him a f*cking ****** - he promptly kicked me out of the game - but after my coach talked to the other ref - they reversed the call and took away the free throws.
I also got my intramural squad put on probation for uttering my favorite phrase (see above) against the Pike house - I mean that game was just ridiculous - it was AEPi - a frat of little Jewish boys against what seemed like Hitler Youth - I'm talking blonde-haired, blue-eyed Giants and we were even playing the somewhat even (mostly because we had Mike Henry - the greatest Jewish practice squad player in Illini history) and after hitting a three to get us within 5 with 2 minutes left - I watched as my boy Henry stood on the court - basically growing roots when a Pike just MAULED his ass - got kicke dout of that game and we had to forfeit.
But all that was back in the day when I actually moved on the court (and even that was very little) - now I just sit by the Three-point line and jack'em - actually - kind of like Q - if I'm hot - I'll gun from five feet behind the line - if I'm not - watch yourself on the sidelines.
Okay - hijack time - what are other people like on the court and what player's style do you most emulate?