OT: New Ray Rice video released

[JCSunsfan]

I don't agree. It's actually common for battered women to return to the abuser. It's because of the psychological damage done by the act in the first place. Sometimes it's because of their own insecurities or verbal abuse that leads them to believe they can't do better.

My mother was never physically abused but mentally abused by my father. Dude was a mean drunk. She returned to him time and time again because he convinced her she couldn't do better and she also felt an obligation to keep the family together.

I don't think that makes her any less a victim just because she returns to that douche bag.

Isn't there a difference between your mom wanting to keep the family together and this woman choosing to marry him after this has occurred?

I think punishment on the perpetrator should be paramount, but its really hard to solve a problem when victims repeatedly put themselves in harms way even after something like this? Are we making the problem worse by not encouraging women in these situations to make responsible choices for themselves and their children? Do we think women are too weak minded to think or act on their own?

My grandmother left her abusing husband in the middle of the night. The moment he laid a hand on one of the boys, she was gone. She packed up 5 kids in the middle of the night and left. She raised all five by herself at great cost to her own lifestyle.

We have had public service advertising campaigns on everything else, I would love to see one on this. These should be the slogans:

1. If he hits you, dump him. DO NOT MARRY HIM! He will hit your children too.
2. YOU are responsible too, if you let your husband abuse your children. Get out! Now! Call the police!

 

[crisper57]

Isn't there a difference between your mom wanting to keep the family together and this woman choosing to marry him after this has occurred?

Not really. She already had his baby.

 

[Covert Rain]

Isn't there a difference between your mom wanting to keep the family together and this woman choosing to marry him after this has occurred?

I think punishment on the perpetrator should be paramount, but its really hard to solve a problem when victims repeatedly put themselves in harms way even after something like this? Are we making the problem worse by not encouraging women in these situations to make responsible choices for themselves and their children? Do we think women are too weak minded to think or act on their own?

Not really. Because in my mothers case, at the time, she felt like she had no choices. It was a direct result of the mental abuse. She didn't think rationally about the situation. She wasn't able to see through that until years and years later. However, at the time she felt like she had no other choice. I think you are dismissing that many of these woman have the ability to think rationally or logically about the abusive situation when it comes to someone they love. My brothers and I didn't get why she kept going back to him either but we were not in her shoes or her head.

NOW she can recognize what was happening but to this day she can't really explain why she didn't see it at the time. I think this is pretty common with abused women.

 

[JCSunsfan]

Not really. Because in my mothers case, at the time, she felt like she had no choices. It was a direct result of the mental abuse. She didn't think rationally about the situation. She wasn't able to see through that until years and years later. However, at the time she felt like she had no other choice. I think you are dismissing that many of these woman have the ability to think rationally or logically about the abusive situation when it comes to someone they love. My brothers and I didn't get why she kept going back to him either but we were not in her shoes or her head.

NOW she can recognize what was happening but to this day she can't really explain why she didn't see it at the time. I think this is pretty common with abused women.

OK. I get that. But isn't it the job of the rest of us to be voices to counteract the brainwashing in their heads? I have two daughters who are considering marriage right now. We have VERY frank discussion about this issue. From the time they were young, we talked seriously about violent behavior, especially toward them, as an absolute deal-breaker in any relationship. The solution to this problem HAS to have an educating the victims element.

By the way. I appreciate the way we can have a frank and lively discussion on this topic. It is necessary.

 

[crisper57]

OK. I get that. But isn't it the job of the rest of us to be voices to counteract the brainwashing in their heads? I have two daughters who are considering marriage right now. We have VERY frank discussion about this issue. From the time they were young, we talked seriously about violent behavior, especially toward them, as an absolute deal-breaker in any relationship. The solution to this problem HAS to have an educating the victims element.

I've had issues with a brainwashed family member. Rational arguments do not work. Hell, I provided documented proof he was being lied to and he stopped talking to me for over a year!

 

[Covert Rain]

OK. I get that. But isn't it the job of the rest of us to be voices to counteract the brainwashing in their heads? I have two daughters who are considering marriage right now. We have VERY frank discussion about this issue. From the time they were young, we talked seriously about violent behavior, especially toward them, as an absolute deal-breaker in any relationship. The solution to this problem HAS to have an educating the victims element.

By the way. I appreciate the way we can have a frank and lively discussion on this topic. It is necessary.

It absolutely is but I can tell you that me and my brothers tried for years to talk to her and get her to leave him. I lost track of how many times and ultimately she had to make the break herself. It had to be her decision because nothing we said helped. Again, it's a product of the lack of rational thinking as a result of the abuse.

 

[Ronin]

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WoW! the commish is one messed up dude.

 

[Cheesebeef]

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WoW! the commish is one messed up dude.

Harbaugh's the only one out of that group to come out of this pile of crap smelling like a rose if the above is true

 

[Azlen]

Harbaugh's the only one out of that group to come out of this pile of crap smelling like a rose if the above is true

If true, then this whole mess was because the commissioner and the Ravens owner are tight. Can Goodell survive this? I really don't see how he can, especially if the "independent" investigator finds out the same thing.

 

[AzStevenCal]

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WoW! the commish is one messed up dude.

I don't see the issue? He's been taking heat for a couple of years for coming down too hard on the players. Remember that before Goodell came into his office the league pretty much ignored off the field incidents. Roger is the one that turned around the league image (until this flareup). Much of the vitriol aimed his way today is from players that didn't like how harshly he dealt with them. Well, the Baltimore owner (Goodell's boss) asked for leniency and the legal system didn't do much so it was kind of hard for Roger to nail Rice to the wall. He should have anyway but he's acknowledged that.

Steve

 

[CtCardinals78]

Here's the whole story here. What a bombshell OTL just dropped. Interesting it gets released on the "news dump" day of the week though.


http://m.espn.go.com/general/story?storyId=11551518&src=desktop

 

[AzStevenCal]

Here's the whole story here. What a bombshell OTL just dropped. Interesting it gets released on the "news dump" day of the week though.


http://m.espn.go.com/general/story?storyId=11551518&src=desktop

I don't think it's all that damaging except for Newsome, Bisciotti and maybe the New Jersey guys. About the only part that concerns me regarding the Commissioner is this:

Rice provided an "ambiguous" account of what had happened inside the elevator. And in its Sept. 12 letter justifying the indefinite suspension, the league said Rice's account was "starkly different" from what was seen on the inside-elevator video. Four sources, however, told "Outside the Lines" that Rice gave Goodell a truthful account that he struck his fiancée. Furthermore, it would seem that if Rice had given an "ambiguous" account, sources say Goodell had even more incentive to try to obtain a copy of the in-elevator video to clear up any lingering questions. But he did not do that.

I have no problem with the Commissioner listening to support for Rice and taking all of that into consideration when he made his ruling. But if he walked away from evidence so that he could do that or if he heard the full story and then lied about it, that crosses the line.

Steve

 

[SoCal Cardfan]

If it was a hoax, it fooled SI and the Washington Post....

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs...-rihanna-open-thursdays-ravens-steelers-game/

...dave

Her performance was pulled (a pre-taped segment)

Not like she showed up to do a live show, and was turned away at the airport.

 

[Jim Otis]

I don't think it's all that damaging except for Newsome, Bisciotti and maybe the New Jersey guys. About the only part that concerns me regarding the Commissioner is this:


I have no problem with the Commissioner listening to support for Rice and taking all of that into consideration when he made his ruling. But if he walked away from evidence so that he could do that or if he heard the full story and then lied about it, that crosses the line.

Steve

I think that Commissioner Goodell climbed in bed with the 49'er brass long before the Ravens incident was even thought of . If you Google Aldon Smith arrest record , the pattern of Roger looking the other way will become very evident . If the Rice uproar had not happened , I have big doubts that Aldon Smith would be suspended right now .

 

[cardncubfan]

I don't agree. It's actually common for battered women to return to the abuser. It's because of the psychological damage done by the act in the first place. Sometimes it's because of their own insecurities or verbal abuse that leads them to believe they can't do better.

My mother was never physically abused but mentally abused by my father. Dude was a mean drunk. She returned to him time and time again because he convinced her she couldn't do better and she also felt an obligation to keep the family together.

I don't think that makes her any less a victim just because she returns to that douche bag.

That makes her a Saint in my opinion. She did what she had to for her children.

 

[Brian in Mesa]

Sometimes we forget why we're here. We're here for one reason and one reason only. We're here for domestic violence. We're here because we saw a friend of mine brutally hit his wife in an elevator. There's some things you can cover up and then there's some things you can't. - Ray Lewis, speaking on ESPN on Sunday

 

[crisper57]

I hate to keep bringing up this thread, but the ESPN Ombudsman has now weighed in on his network's coverage of the whole affair. It is a pretty good read.

I’d like to say I wasn’t the least bit surprised … but I was.

This was ESPN’s finest hour during my tenure as Ombudsman, in contrast to its darkest -- the withdrawal of the network’s imprimatur from the 2013 PBS broadcast “League of Denial.” It was widely speculated at that time, although without a smoking video, that the NFL had pushed ESPN to distance itself from the league’s attempt to squelch the scientific evidence that football was causing brain damage. The league had leverage -- ESPN pays the league significant rights fees, but in turn generates substantial revenue against NFL content.

http://espn.go.com/blog/ombudsman/post/_/id/453/espn-flexes-journalistic-muscle-on-rice

 

[NJCardFan]

Sometimes we forget why we're here. We're here for one reason and one reason only. We're here for domestic violence. We're here because we saw a friend of mine brutally hit his wife in an elevator. There's some things you can cover up and then there's some things you can't. - Ray Lewis, speaking on ESPN on Sunday

Wait, what?