From The Law Offices of Baldino, Losi, Lansky, Schultz & Madden
"It's Not Personal - It's Business!"
To Mr Jann Wenner et al
Re: Steely Dan Hall of Fame Induction
Gentlemen:
You must be registered for see images
I have been asked by my clients Becker and Fagen to outline their position on the matter of their induction into the so-called Rock Hall of Fame. It is our hope that this matter can be resolved in a friendly and also a timely manner, without recourse to legal or illegal action. It is our sad experience at BLLS & M that illegal action begets legal action, and vice versa - so let's see if we can't come up with something that is in the interest of the commissioners and of my clients as well.
You must be registered for see images
The situation as I understand it is this:
You must be registered for see images
1. My clients Becker and Fagen have tendered an offer in good faith - namely, that in exchange for some recording equipment to be donated to the museum, for use in a display honoring their contributions to contemporary modern rock music, you and/or your representatives will do the following:
You must be registered for see images
a) arrange to have the band Steely Dan perform at their induction ceremony, on the televised broadcast, for the sum of $380,000
You must be registered for see images
b) provide a written appraisal of the value of the donated equipment at a figure not less than $950,000
You must be registered for see images
c) guarantee that our clients will be allowed to determine precisely which bandmembers will be inducted into the Hall, and also who will be present at the telecast. Please note that our clients wish to exercise this prerogative in the case of other bands to be inducted into the Hall this coming year as well as Steely Dan, such as "The Eagles", etc. - that is, they will choose which members, if any, will be inducted, as they are determined to insure that the singular honor of inclusion into the Hall should not be diminished or diluted by the inclusion of nonessential bandmembers or other undeserving individuals.
You must be registered for see images
d) will graciously welcome as inductees for 1998: the great Jimmy Carl Black; the groundbreaking Fugs; and the excellent writing team, Anders & Poncia.
You must be registered for see images
2. It is our understanding that Mr Jann Wenner has accepted these terms and conditions on behalf of the Hall of Fame, by accepting from Messrs Becker and Fagen the following down payment: one case of Yurgulun's Best Honey Mustard, manufactured in Connecticut. The 3M machines are en route to Mr Wenner's hunting lodge in Colorado - it is believed that the machines may actually fire up under the reduced atmospheric pressure at Jann's high altitude mountain aerie. The machines should be arriving C.O.D. sometime around September 1.
You must be registered for see images
So, gentlemen, it appears that a deal has been consummated and my clients and I are awaiting the agreed-upon compensation (deposit for live performance fee, remuneration for consultations to the B of D of the Hall of Fame, etc.; total due = $700,000 now, $700,000 after the show, plus air fares and expenses). If there are any questions I can be reached at my horse ranch in the Adirondacks at: 914-387- 6423.
You must be registered for see images
Thank you for your consideration
You must be registered for see images
Joseph "Uncle Joe" Stephano, Esq.