THE Newcastle United FC thread

[Lorenzo]

This is the extent of Steve Bruce's "tactics," in pictures:

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Haha but Hey that produced a point against spurs.

 

[Stout]

Haha but Hey that produced a point against spurs.

Through sheer blind luck and an extremely questionable penalty deep in stoppage time.

 

[Stout]

A pretty lousy 80-minute game, although at least we tried to be better in the first half before turning scared in the 2nd. Then, suddenly, we get a smash-and-grab goal. Then, two miracles at once: we get a goal--by JOELINTON!!!

Love that we won, but this means Bruce's job is safer, which sucks.

 

[Stout]

And of course Newcastle are now riddled with Covid. Will the PL push the match on Friday? No chance. Apparently you have to have below 14 eligible players in the squad--a starting 11 and 3 subs--before they do so. And that's counting any youth players with at least a minute of game time with the senior squad! Madness.

 

[dreamcastrocks]

And of course Newcastle are now riddled with Covid. Will the PL push the match on Friday? No chance. Apparently you have to have below 14 eligible players in the squad--a starting 11 and 3 subs--before they do so. And that's counting any youth players with at least a minute of game time with the senior squad! Madness.

That is ridiculous.

 

[Stout]

That is ridiculous.

Thankfully those guidelines either weren't accurate or aren't the only way to stop a game, as today the game has been postponed.

 

[Stout]

The game against West Brom will be going forward, thank goodness. No idea how many actual first-team players Newcastle will have available, though.

 

[Stout]

Howay the lads! Bit of a makeshift lineup, but gotta take the 3 points at home against West Brom. Positive play only here, Bruce. ZERO excuses for negative park-the-bus play.

 

[Stout]

I could take a potshot at Bruce for his reaction to going 1-0 up, but I'm not going to do that today. The team, including the staff, went through some trying times recently, and taking care of business v West Brom earns them a big tip of the cap. Howay the lads!

 

[Stout]

I always knew the Leeds games were going to be epic crap shows for Newcastle. They're the ultimate no-win scenario. Not because the Mags couldn't beat them--under a competent coach. Problem is, you just knew old cabbage head would go in there and park the bus, which is exactly what you CAN'T do against Leeds. Their weakness is their defense, like Newcastle's glory days under Shearer. You HAVE to press forward and take your chances. Hell, even Newcastle scored 2 without really trying--1 off a corner kick, a set piece, which you have to earn against Leeds because they suck at defending them. Which you don't earn unless you're pressing.

Sure, Brucey Boy. Say Newcastle were "comfortable" in the end. Is it comfortable giving up nearly 30 shots? Moron.

 

[Stout]

I'll just say that having less than 50 percent possession and only managing a comeback tie against a newly promoted bottom 3 team is just plain unacceptable. Bruce Out!

 

[Stout]

Fire this piece of ish dinosaur NOW!!! Jesus wept, how impotent can you make your team against a weakened Championship side? Newcastle had a strong lineup, but that means jack squat if you cement the defenders' boots 10 yards outside your own penalty area and refuse to let them take one step further up the pitch! When you routinely take throw-ins near the opponents' touch line and, in three kicks or less, are back at your own effing keeper! When you whip and beat any idea of going on the offensive out of your team that the players tremble like a beaten dog and piss down their leg at the mere IDEA of a forward pass.

Enough already! Just enough! Mercy, Ashley. Christ, I'm effing BEGGING here. Mercy! Fire this piece of ish dinosaur before he gets the Mags relegated!

 

[Stout]

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Fire him!

 

[Stout]

What do I reckon? Liverpool 5-0 would probably be a fair result. Would take a miracle to only lose 2-0 like they did to City.

 

[Stout]

See there, Brucey Boy? See what happens when you let your players show a little ambition? You get a good result. Not a win, but a very very good point. Howay the lads.

 

[Stout]

An improved but frustrating display against Leicester. At least the team showed some spirit. Probably going to run into a buzz saw in the FA cup with Arsenal's current form. Elliot Anderson set to get his first start against the arselings, so it should be interesting to see what the kid can do. And Dubravka will be back!

 

[Stout]

Must win game today. Must win. Goalless drought can't continue, and need the points to separate from the bottom 3. Howay the lads! Don't screw it up, Bruce. You HAVE to let the team attack. It is a MUST.

 

[Stout]

5 at the back? 5 at the effing back? Jeff Hendrick wide? Are you serious with this lineup, cabbage head? Ugh.

 

[Stout]

Well, 5 at the back was no lie. Came out with the team's boots glued in their own end, defenders hardly daring to leave their own penalty area, and a steadfast refusal to try to put any pressure on the worst team in the league. EFFING Steve Bruce! EFFING coward, park the bus moron! Did this make the team tough in defense? Quite the contrary, it's like cabbage head has no idea how Sheffield like to play and had no plan on how to defend them. Clueless, man. Simply clueless. This led to Frasier getting so frustrated he got a yellow, then idiotically got a 2nd yellow. No excuse for the lad, of course, but who can deny his frustration? ANY offensive player has to be fully fed up by now with effing Brucey Boy.

THIS DINOSAUR HAS TO GO. Fire him before Newcastle are in a full-on relegation battle! Learn the lesson learned by relegation because you waited too long to fire McClaren. Your cash cow is under threat, Ca$hley. Do something about it!!!

 

[Stout]

And there you have it. Gave the worst team in the league their first win of the season. Didn't even TRY to be in the game until the 2nd half, down to 10 men, AND losing 1-0. Granted, the ref was awful. Foul on our player? No, handball, because he was literally shoved into the ball (that's on VAR, but I'm lumping them in together). 2nd yellow on our player? Fair. But a horror stomp from behind against our player? Only a yellow with NO VAR check.

Don't get me wrong--Newcastle deserved NOTHING from the game. They just had to work against Sheffield Utd AND two other people--the ref and their own coach.

 

[Stout]

And of course he wasn't fired. Thanks a lot, Ca$hley. You're an idiot. Remember all that money you lost when you refused to fire your last abysmal hire (McClaren) until it was too late? Not learning from history = doomed to repeat it.

 

[Stout]

Maybe the end IS nigh. Cabbage head flipped out, swore at his press conference, threw his players under the bus (he usually parks), and says now he's doing it "his way" no matter what the players want. Hoo boy!

 

[Stout]

Ca$hley, you're supposed to be smart enough to protect your effing investments. Well, you're about to lose hundreds of millions of pounds by allowing that effing muppet dinosaur Steve Bruce run your team into the ground and direct them to relegation. Remember the lesson of your ****-up with McClaren. EFFING FIRE HIM!!!

 

[Stout]

Fire him!

Granted, the punk ***** Graelish should have seen red for the little wuss elbow he put into Shelvey's head, Newcastle deserved nothing from this game. Nothing at all.

 

[Stout]

Finally! It took hiring a new coach to show Bruce how it's done by changing system and literally coaching the players from the touch line, but finally! See what happens when you set up the team to TRY, you muppet?