I think that, absolutely, you can be judged by your actions. Your actions are what reveal your character. Of course, it's unfair to look at one isolated incident and judge someone by that. So you look at the total picture.
Regarding Raja, I am Suns fan and I think what Raja did to Kobe was wrong. I think it was terrible because it was very dangerous. Did Raja actually apologize to Kobe? You're right, he did not, but he knows it was stupid. His teammates know it was stupid. They supported him as their teammate, they did not support what he did. There are other things Raja does that I don't like such as flopping or getting easily chippy but I still like him as a person. He plays hard, he's honest, I like his personality, and seems like a good teammate as well as a family guy.