Crisper57's National Power Rankings After Week 5
1. Seahawks: They beat up on the Washington R-Words. I mean, I didn't watch the game, but I assume that is what happened. I am a little mad about Percy Harvin's night. Three TD's called back for penalties? That hurt my fantasy team, man.
2. Broncos:Since they are a media darling, that chop block was just an unfortunate mistake. If it'd been the other way around, I'd be screaming for retribution.
3. Chargers: When you shut out a New York media market team, you get the attention of national writers, and you get to move to #3 on my chart.
4. Bengals:They may not lose again until they play Denver December 22. Also, if the Pat's cheerleaders wear your jersey, you get bonus points. Which means...
5. Patriots:Sure they already have 2 losses, but who can even remember those? Tom Brady is back, people! Heeeee's baaaaaack!
6. Cowboys:Given their fans in the stadium, the Cowboys better be prepared to play 16 road games this season. Of course, at 4-1, the band wagoners are just about to start digging their old Aikman and Smith jerseys out of the closet any time now.
7. 49ers: Our mistake. After a couple of wins, and an interview in which the front office dismissed the locker room turmoil, we're ready to move on and forget their dismal start.
8. Eagles:Defense and special teams still win games, despite the efforts of the League to turn this into Arena Football.
9. Packers:Aaron Rodgers just discount-double-checked all over your face!
10. Colts:Andrew Luck is the second coming of Jesus, and he has the beard to prove it!
17. Cardinals: (Doing a happy dance) I told you so! I told you so! I...I...I...I told you so! Not only were they dominated all game long (I didn't watch the game, but a 41-20 score doesn't just happen in the 4th quarter), but they have the audacity to whine about the Broncos playing dirty? C'mon! This is Elway's team! This is Manning's team! They are bigger than the game and they are certainly above reproach, so by extension their entire team is above reproach.