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- Jan 2, 2003
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For years and years I have been on this board, often ranting and raving about how horrible we were going to be or were and how we were doomed forever until a certain someone was not making key decisions... and most of the time... I was right!
(Mao if you bring that Josh McCown thread up, I will hunt you down like the dog you are and kill you till you are dead).
I was told I wasn't even a Cardinals fan from some people when I first showed up. Crimson was sure I was a Cowboys fan for some reason. I was mocked when I said I was betting my last unemployment check against the Cards as 15 point dogs against San Fran back in 2003 and I parlayed the winnings from that 50-14 shellacking into an even bigger bet against us, again, 15 point dogs, against Seattle which they won 28-10. I was derided when I said the Emmitt Smith signing was a joke, not getting anything for David Boston was awful, the draft day trade bringing Calvin Douche and Skillet Hands was an abomination, missing out on AP was the biggest mistake we've ever made, basically the fact that we'd be terrible in years 2003-6, and Nidan's lack of a sense of humour (just kidding Nidan... and to prove that I even spelled that the english way!). Why am I telling you all this? To pat myself on the back? To say Cheese Rocks! Cheese Rocks! No, it's because I was right then and BY GUM I'M GONNA BE RIGHT AGAIN THIS WEEKEND!
Take a deep breath because you are about to see words you would swear you'd NEVER see coming in one of my posts:
THE CARDINALS WILL BE IN THE SUPER BOWL THIS YEAR
That's right. No ifs, and, buts about it. I don't care who's suited up. I don't care if the roofs open or closed (but keep it closed damnit). I don't care if Eagles fans somehow take over the stadium and Andy Reid's beard eats Kurt Warner...
WE WILL NOT LOSE THIS GAME - PERIOD.
Just how sure are you Cheese? If that's what you're asking (and you're probably not at this point but... anyways)... so sure that I've already booked flights to Tampa for me, Pappa Cheese and Brother-not-Ouchie (and the only reason I didn't book Ouchie's is because he's flying from a different city than me) so that when we do win on Sunday, I've already gotten a head start on planning and gotten a week's better pricing on those ridiculous airline tickets and on top of that, I've already called my boy from HS who I haven't spoken to in a couple years and told him he should probably send his wife and kids to his parents house for the weekend because the Fearsome Foursome of the Shapiros are coming to take over his house in Tampa Bay!
It's been a dark 20 years, with the just the occassional ray of light sprinkled in here or there. Most of us at one time or another have thought we were really just a franchise buried alive, or at least in a deep dark hole. Folks, that light is flickering brighter and brighter now and it's finally time to come to the realization that we're not in a hole... we're in a tunnel. Let's just keep walking... ALL THE WAY TO TAMPA BAY.
DARKSIDERS, KOOL-AIDERS, WARNER-PHILES, MATT-FANS, OLD, YOUNG, SMART, DUMB, GEE AND MOST OF ALL...
KOC!
Unite! The time is here. The place is now. Rage, rage against the dying of the light! We will not be detered. We will not watch ANOTHER of our home-teams lose a Conference Title or Title Game on it's own home-field. This team... this team which has tormented all of ours souls for one, two, three decades... even a full half century for some WILL BE OUR SALVATION FINALLY. Why? Because it's just that ridiculous and it's the only way anything like this can possibly happen to fans like us. Fans like us will never see our team be the favorite and actually WIN. No, we root for the most wretched franchise in sports (god love 'em) and the only way a franchise like that wins is by shocking the ever living snot out of everyone... and that's what's gonna happen this weekend.
I'll leave with a quote that sums up everything I believe is necessary to win this game... and any game of importance like this. From the great Jesse The Body Ventura:
Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat!
WHATEVER IT TAKES BOYS! GET IT DONE ON SUNDAY! NIRVANA IS JUST ONE GAME AWAY!
WHO'S WITH ME!?
(Mao if you bring that Josh McCown thread up, I will hunt you down like the dog you are and kill you till you are dead). I was told I wasn't even a Cardinals fan from some people when I first showed up. Crimson was sure I was a Cowboys fan for some reason. I was mocked when I said I was betting my last unemployment check against the Cards as 15 point dogs against San Fran back in 2003 and I parlayed the winnings from that 50-14 shellacking into an even bigger bet against us, again, 15 point dogs, against Seattle which they won 28-10. I was derided when I said the Emmitt Smith signing was a joke, not getting anything for David Boston was awful, the draft day trade bringing Calvin Douche and Skillet Hands was an abomination, missing out on AP was the biggest mistake we've ever made, basically the fact that we'd be terrible in years 2003-6, and Nidan's lack of a sense of humour (just kidding Nidan... and to prove that I even spelled that the english way!
). Why am I telling you all this? To pat myself on the back? To say Cheese Rocks! Cheese Rocks! No, it's because I was right then and BY GUM I'M GONNA BE RIGHT AGAIN THIS WEEKEND!Take a deep breath because you are about to see words you would swear you'd NEVER see coming in one of my posts:
THE CARDINALS WILL BE IN THE SUPER BOWL THIS YEAR
That's right. No ifs, and, buts about it. I don't care who's suited up. I don't care if the roofs open or closed (but keep it closed damnit). I don't care if Eagles fans somehow take over the stadium and Andy Reid's beard eats Kurt Warner...
WE WILL NOT LOSE THIS GAME - PERIOD.
Just how sure are you Cheese? If that's what you're asking (and you're probably not at this point but... anyways)... so sure that I've already booked flights to Tampa for me, Pappa Cheese and Brother-not-Ouchie (and the only reason I didn't book Ouchie's is because he's flying from a different city than me) so that when we do win on Sunday, I've already gotten a head start on planning and gotten a week's better pricing on those ridiculous airline tickets and on top of that, I've already called my boy from HS who I haven't spoken to in a couple years and told him he should probably send his wife and kids to his parents house for the weekend because the Fearsome Foursome of the Shapiros are coming to take over his house in Tampa Bay!
It's been a dark 20 years, with the just the occassional ray of light sprinkled in here or there. Most of us at one time or another have thought we were really just a franchise buried alive, or at least in a deep dark hole. Folks, that light is flickering brighter and brighter now and it's finally time to come to the realization that we're not in a hole... we're in a tunnel. Let's just keep walking... ALL THE WAY TO TAMPA BAY.
DARKSIDERS, KOOL-AIDERS, WARNER-PHILES, MATT-FANS, OLD, YOUNG, SMART, DUMB, GEE AND MOST OF ALL...
KOC!
Unite! The time is here. The place is now. Rage, rage against the dying of the light! We will not be detered. We will not watch ANOTHER of our home-teams lose a Conference Title or Title Game on it's own home-field. This team... this team which has tormented all of ours souls for one, two, three decades... even a full half century for some WILL BE OUR SALVATION FINALLY. Why? Because it's just that ridiculous and it's the only way anything like this can possibly happen to fans like us. Fans like us will never see our team be the favorite and actually WIN. No, we root for the most wretched franchise in sports (god love 'em) and the only way a franchise like that wins is by shocking the ever living snot out of everyone... and that's what's gonna happen this weekend.
I'll leave with a quote that sums up everything I believe is necessary to win this game... and any game of importance like this. From the great Jesse The Body Ventura:
Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat!
WHATEVER IT TAKES BOYS! GET IT DONE ON SUNDAY! NIRVANA IS JUST ONE GAME AWAY!
WHO'S WITH ME!?
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WE SHALL OVERCOME!
