CaptTurbo
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It's just one of those wicked telling signs, one of those sad little cultural punches that make you cringe and sigh even as you stifle a laugh and roll your eyes at the state of it all, as you read the one about how an increasing percentage of people -- mostly women but half of the men, too -- aren't receiving their proper dosage of medicine when given a shot in the rear by a nurse at the hospital because, well, their butts are just too damn big.
Which is to say, the needles are now too damn short. Too short to reach what remains of the gluteus in most increasingly obese butt-exploded people in America, and hence hospitals are now having to use longer and longer needles to penetrate all the fatty acreage in the average American rear and deliver the meds these people so desperately need to, you know, help lower their cholesterol and treat their diabetes and try to prevent the imminent heart disease that's coming upon them like a steam engine due to all the, uh, obesity.
It's just another telltale slap, much like those recurrent stories about how airline manufacturers are forced to increase the seating area in planes and charge double for passengers who take up two seats and every single airline is now burning a great deal more fuel to fly due to all the excess weight. Fly the friendly skies indeed, but only if we can get the plane in the air.
All part of the wider trend: larger caskets and heavy-duty toilet seats, thicker mattresses and industrial-strength office chairs and redesigned school systems to accommodate the enormous increase in obese children. They're altering the design of cars to fit fatter American butts and reinforcing restaurant chairs, and it's also the reason most SUVs are sold to overweight, aggressive males because have you seen the average American try to squeeze into, say, a Miata? Like a melon into a coffee cup, baby. Not pretty.
I know, it's not a simple problem. I know obesity is a terribly complicated issue, crosses myriad sociocultural lines, is more than merely too much unhealthy food coupled with too much laziness coupled with too much I'm-a-victim thinking coupled with lack of self-control coupled with lack of exercise coupled with lack of decent health education coupled with lousy upbringing coupled with sinister garbage-food corporate marketing coupled with increasingly sedentary TV-addicted lifestyles coupled with pain-avoidance mechanisms coupled with believing it's all up to the Big Pharmcos to merely invent a magic bullet to cure it all. Oh wait, check that, it's not more than that at all. That's exactly what it is.
Which is to say, the needles are now too damn short. Too short to reach what remains of the gluteus in most increasingly obese butt-exploded people in America, and hence hospitals are now having to use longer and longer needles to penetrate all the fatty acreage in the average American rear and deliver the meds these people so desperately need to, you know, help lower their cholesterol and treat their diabetes and try to prevent the imminent heart disease that's coming upon them like a steam engine due to all the, uh, obesity.
It's just another telltale slap, much like those recurrent stories about how airline manufacturers are forced to increase the seating area in planes and charge double for passengers who take up two seats and every single airline is now burning a great deal more fuel to fly due to all the excess weight. Fly the friendly skies indeed, but only if we can get the plane in the air.
All part of the wider trend: larger caskets and heavy-duty toilet seats, thicker mattresses and industrial-strength office chairs and redesigned school systems to accommodate the enormous increase in obese children. They're altering the design of cars to fit fatter American butts and reinforcing restaurant chairs, and it's also the reason most SUVs are sold to overweight, aggressive males because have you seen the average American try to squeeze into, say, a Miata? Like a melon into a coffee cup, baby. Not pretty.
I know, it's not a simple problem. I know obesity is a terribly complicated issue, crosses myriad sociocultural lines, is more than merely too much unhealthy food coupled with too much laziness coupled with too much I'm-a-victim thinking coupled with lack of self-control coupled with lack of exercise coupled with lack of decent health education coupled with lousy upbringing coupled with sinister garbage-food corporate marketing coupled with increasingly sedentary TV-addicted lifestyles coupled with pain-avoidance mechanisms coupled with believing it's all up to the Big Pharmcos to merely invent a magic bullet to cure it all. Oh wait, check that, it's not more than that at all. That's exactly what it is.
