This is a satire. It is from www.thebrushback.com. It is satire. It is not real. It is fake. It is artificially created for the purpose of humor. The people mentioned in the article did not say these things, but rather were crafted by the writer in an attempt to be funny.
That being said;
Brady Quinn Already Preparing For Hold Out
SOUTH BEND, IN--Notre Dame starting quarterback Brady Quinn is expected to be a lottery pick in the 2007 NFL draft. Accordingly, he’s preparing for a prolonged training camp holdout by saving money and embarking on a PR campaign to prepare the public for the inevitable.
“Obviously I am hoping to be paid my fair market value when I get to the NFL,” said Quinn, who is a leading candidate to win the Heisman Trophy this year. “If the team that drafts me treats me fairly, I’ll be in camp on time. If not, they will force my hand. I just hope the fans realize that any holdout that occurs will be entirely the fault of the team. I’ll hold up my end of the bargain by demanding way too much money. After that, the ball is in their court.”
Though Quinn doesn’t know where he will be drafted, he still expects to be lowballed by his future employed, which is why he’s preparing to hold out of camp.
“I don’t know who’s going to draft me. I don’t know where I’m going to be taken,” said Quinn. “But I'm already disappointed by their offer. I need more guaranteed money and more bonus incentives. Also, I need a longer deal, because I plan on being the top pick and I’m going to cash in on that. I just hope the Buffalo Bills – I mean, whoever has the top pick – will respect that.”
Quinn is also mulling over a list of potential agents to sign with when he leaves college. At the moment, Tom Condon, agent for Matt Leinart, is at the top of his list.
“I really like what Tom is doing for Matt Leinart,” Quinn said. “He seems to know exactly how to get his client the money he deserves. But you know, whatever happens, I’m just looking forward to leaving school, being drafted, and showing up to those final two weeks of training camp and pretending to be mentored by the starter.”
Notre Dame is coming into the 2006 season with high expectations, and players and coaches believe that anything short of a national championship will be a complete failure. Coach Charlie Weiss knows his team’s fortunes rest with the right arm of Brady Quinn, and hopes his quarterback can stay focused on the task at hand.
“It’s pretty normal for a player of his caliber to start looking ahead to his NFL career and all the money he’s going to make,” said Weiss. “But right now he needs to focus his attention on winning the national title. If he has a sub-par year his draft stock will plummet, and then he might have to do the unthinkable and attend training camp like a common rookie. So those are his two choices: a national championship or a first-class ticket to Loserville.”
Since the NFL has no rookie pay scale, rookie hold outs are all but inevitable for high profile picks. This year, Matt Leinart, Reggie Bush, Vince Young all held out of camp. One of them, Leinart, still hasn’t shown up.
Leinart did have a piece of advice for Quinn when he gets drafted.
“Don’t take what they offer you, period,” Leinart said. “Don’t even look at the first offer. Just reject it out of principle. Always act outraged, like they lowballed you really badly, and definitely, definitely, stay out of camp. That’s your only bargaining chip. Look at me. I’m hanging around playing video games all day while the rest of my teammates do up-downs and get spit on by coaches. And nobody blames me for it either. I’ll saunter into camp when I feel like it and be welcomed with open arms.”
“One more piece of advice,” he added. “Don’t f up in the national championship game and drop down to 10. Some of these teams are crazy enough to want to pay an 11th pick like an 10th pick. No, seriously. They’re that nuts.”
