Where the eff do I effing start with this one? First, the ref should never be allowed near a soccer field again. Okay, maybe he can ref grade school youth girl's soccer, but that might be too effing much for him to handle. Should Shelvey have seen red, and should they have gotten that penalty. Yes--he was stupid in the fact that the SECOND MAN ALWAYS GETS CAUGHT. He kicked out, and it's a red-card offense. Of course, my new most hated player in the Championship--"Angela" Lansbury--kicked out his legs FIRST, then earned the first of TWO simulation yellow cards--which oh, by the way, weren't called.
So, Lansbury stays, Shelvey's off, and WE SAVE THE PENALTY. Woot, bullet dodged. Even better, we go take it to Forest and score the first goal on a perfect set piece. Except it's called off for a foul on the goalscorer Clark--except there WAS NO EFFING FOUL NOT EVEN CLOSE--and this is after Clark was bundled to the ground with his jersey yanked all over the place while trying to shoot a few minutes ago. So, that SHOULD be Newcastle 1 or 2 to nil. THEN there's a clear handball in the penalty area that's not called. That SHOULD be Newcastle 2 or 3 to nil. Then we actually do score, because we've been in the ascendency since going down to 10 men, so that should be Newcastle 3 or 4 nil at the break.
Except no. Oh no. That effing moronic ref makes another gaffe, as Angela Lansbury earns his SECOND simulation yellow card--except the effing goat-screwing ref buys his histrionics, and not only awards a penalty, BUT SENDS DUMMETT OFF!!! He literally touched Lansbury with one hand, and Angela falls as if she's been shot. But EFF YOU FOREST, because Darlow saves ANOTHER penalty. So we SHOULD be at Newcastle 3 or 4, Forest nil at the break. Instead it's only 1-0.
Then, after a mad scramble, Forest scores the equalizer against a 9-man Newcastle side. But wait a minute--just a second before he kicks it in, Bendtner CLEARLY handles the ball. Ah, that's okay--it's cool for Forest to handle it in EITHER EFFING BOX! So it SHOULD be Newcastle 3 or 4, Forest 1. Instead it's 1-1.
The rest of the game is so fricking comical. Angela Lansbury FINALLY earns a yellow for a terrible foul, so he should have seen a red PLUS a yellow. Forest gets all pissy because suddenly the ref's too afraid to go against us, because he's already completely screwed Newcastle over. He gave our keeper Darlow a silly yellow in the first half before the penalty kick, so Darlow takes all the time in the world every time he can, because he KNOWS the ref's not idiotic enough to show a THIRD red.
The Magpies put in a heroic defensive effort, but sometime after the 80th minute, finally concede the winner to Forest. That SHOULD be Newcastle 3 or 4, Forest 2, so it still SHOULD be a Newcastle victory but, at the final whistle, the scoreboard reads Forest 2, Newcastle 1.
What an effing shambles. What an absolute effing shambles. He should never ref again, Dummetts red should be appealed and rescinded, Angela Lansbury should be suspended (though there's zero chance of that), and I can't believe we might not be topping the table because of this shambolic lack of control over a game. Screw sportsmanship, I hope Lansbury breaks his leg in the shower and misses the rest of the season, and I hope the ref breaks down in the middle of a rainstorm and gets pneumonia.
